Latest Posts by girlish-in-pain - Page 3

"have you learned how to drive yet" i have the spirit of friendship in my heart. the joy of lifes little things in my soul. the whimsy of magic. the beautiful enjoyment of nature. the answer is no though

🌈 some soft things to stay alive for:

seeing a heart-shaped cloud

music you could fall asleep to

warm blankets straight from the dryer

gifts with a lot of thought in them

surprise breakfasts in bed

hot cups of cocoa when it’s cold

rainbows during a sun shower

cute artwork that you connect with

little hopes that come true

feeling safe with someone you love

taking care of a used plushie

yummy edible cookie dough

Maybe in another universe I'm not the sick girl.

Lol true

the disability is disabling today folks

“Don’t let your disorder define you”

Okay but do you support the people whose disorders do define them?

Do you support people with the chronic illnesses who have had to develop whole lives around their conditions? Do you support the intellectually disabled people whose whole way of thinking is defined by their disorder? Do you support the people with personality disorders who literally have a disorder as a personality? Do you support the autism/ADHD people whose disorder you can’t separate from who they are? Do you support the DIDOSDD people who have multiple definitions of themselves because of their disorder?

Or are you just saying that because a disorder defining someone means you can’t ignore it.

I feel like some of my fellow students in med school could stand to read this. And by "some" I mean most and by "students" I actually mean the able-bodied students, which seems like everyone but me, but I could be wrong.

daily reminder to able bodied folks,

disabled people don't owe you their story or their medical diagnoses.

disabled people dont owe you education on their disability.

disabled people don't owe you justification that they are disabled.

You’re allowed to struggle and complain even if you aren’t the “worst” you could be.

You don’t need to be positive and grateful all the time. It’s okay to have feelings about your disabilities. It’s okay to vent about them.

Just because it could be worse doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it to be better.

This makes me really happy. I hope I can be that for someone.

oh by the way!! yesterday morning i saw someone my age walking with a cane while i was going to school. it was the first time and it was really quite exciting!

i haven't really needed my cane in a while now but seeing other young people using one really makes me feel less alone <3

this is your reminder that if you are young and going out in public with a mobility aid there probably will be some seemingly able-bodied kid watching you and feeling less alone. and just maybe they might try taking their aid outside, someday.

Yes, I did it, but do you have any idea how hard it was? How much pain it caused me? How much it cost? How many hours I spent in tears? How much I screamed in pain? How long it took? How many nights I spent paralyzed with fear? How hard it was to drag myself along by my arms, desperately clawing for purchase after my legs could go no more? How it felt to grit my teeth and bite back the bile and blood threatening to spill from my mouth, as every nerve ending shot fire through my veins? How the dread and the despair and the grief weighed me down until it felt like I was being crushed under the weight? Do you have any idea what it's taken from me?

But you shrug, and brush it off. "But you did it, didn't you? So it's fine."

"But you did it, didn't you? So clearly you didn't need help."

"But you did it, didn't you? So it obviously wasn't as hard as you were making it out to be."

"But you did it, didn't you? So you can do it again."

I know this is for artists and writers, but it's also just really helpful if you're considering beginning to use a cane or researching which one to buy. It gives a really nice overview of the most common types of canes. I have used a cane for a little over 6 months now and I would have loved to see something like this, when I was trying to figure out which cane to buy and how to walk with it. I usually use the cane with my dominant hand and didn't even realise that I can obviously just switch hands so I have my dominant hand free for stuff😂 I ALSO HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU CAN BUY A TIP FOR ICE!?!?!! I'VE BEEN SLIPPING AND FALLING AROUND FOR MONTHS AND DIDN'T EVEN QUESTION IT😭😭

A general cane guide for writers and artists (from a cane user, writer, and artist!)

Disclaimer: Though I have been using a cane for 6 years, I am not a doctor, nor am I by any means an expert. This guide is true to my experience, but there are as many ways to use a cane as there are cane users!

This guide will not include: White canes for blindness, crutches, walkers, or wheelchairs as I have no personal experience with these.

This is meant to be a general guide to get you started and avoid some common mishaps/misconceptions in your writing, but you absolutely should continue to do your own research outside of this guide!

This is NOT a medical resource!!! And never tell a real person you think they're using a cane wrong!

The biggest recurring problem I've seen is using the cane on the wrong side. The cane goes on the opposite side of the pain! If your character has even-sided pain or needs it for balance/weakness, then use the cane in the non-dominant hand to keep the dominant hand free. Some cane users also switch sides to give their arm a rest!

A cane takes about 20% of your weight off the opposite leg. It should fit within your natural gait and become something of an extension of your body. If you need more weight off than 20%, then crutches, a walker, or a wheelchair is needed.

Putting more pressure on the cane, using it on the wrong side, or having it at the wrong height can make it less effective, and can cause long term damage to your body from improper pressure and posture. (Hugh Laurie genuinely hurt his body from years of using a cane wrong on House!)

(some people elect to use a cane wrong for their personal situation despite this, everyone is different!)

(an animated GIF of a cane matching the natural walking gait. It turns red when pressure is placed on it.)

When going up and down stairs, there is an ideal standard: You want to use the handrail and the cane at the same time, or prioritize the handrail if it's only on one side. When going up stairs you lead with your good leg and follow with the cane and hurt leg together. When going down stairs you lead with the cane and the bad leg and follow with the good leg!

Realistically though, many people don't move out of the way for cane users to access the railing, many stairs don't have railings, and many are wet, rusty, or generally not ideal to grip.

In these cases, if you have a friend nearby, holding on to them is a good idea. Or, take it one step at a time carefully if you're alone.

Now we come to a very common mistake I see... Using fashion canes for medical use!

(These are 4 broad shapes, but there is INCREDIBLE variation in cane handles. Research heavily what will be best for your character's specific needs!)

The handle is the contact point for all the weight you're putting on your cane, and that pressure is being put onto your hand, wrist, and shoulder. So the shape is very important for long term use!

Knob handles (and very decorative handles) are not used for medical use for this reason. It adds extra stress to the body and can damage your hand to put constant pressure onto these painful shapes.

The weight of a cane is also incredibly important, as a heavier cane will cause wear on your body much faster. When you're using it all day, it gets heavy fast! If your character struggles with weakness, then they won't want a heavy cane if they can help it!

This is also part of why sword canes aren't usually very viable for medical use (along with them usually being knob handles) is that swords are extra weight!

However, a small knife or perhaps a retractable blade hidden within the base might be viable even for weak characters.

Bases have a lot of variability as well, and the modern standard is generally adjustable bases. Adjustable canes are very handy if your character regularly changes shoe height, for instance (gotta keep the height at your hip!)

Canes help on most terrain with their standard base and structure. But for some terrain, you might want a different base, or to forego the cane entirely! This article covers it pretty well.

Many cane users decorate their canes! Stickers are incredibly common, and painting canes is relatively common as well! You'll also see people replacing the standard wrist strap with a personalized one, or even adding a small charm to the ring the strap connects to. (nothing too large, or it gets annoying as the cane is swinging around everywhere)

(my canes, for reference)

If your character uses a cane full time, then they might also have multiple canes that look different aesthetically to match their outfits!

When it comes to practical things outside of the cane, you reasonably only have one hand available while it's being used. Many people will hook their cane onto their arm or let it dangle on the strap (if they have one) while using their cane arm, but it's often significantly less convenient than 2 hands. But, if you need 2 hands, then it's either setting the cane down or letting it hang!

For this reason, optimizing one handed use is ideal! Keeping bags/items on the side of your free hand helps keep your items accessible.

When sitting, the cane either leans against a wall or table, goes under the chair, or hooks onto the back of the chair. (It often falls when hanging off of a chair, in my experience)

When getting up, the user will either use their cane to help them balance/support as they stand, or get up and then grab their cane. This depends on what it's being used for (balance vs pain when walking, for instance!)

That's everything I can think of for now. Thank you for reading my long-but-absolutely-not-comprehensive list of things to keep in mind when writing or drawing a cane user!

Happy disability pride month! Go forth and make more characters use canes!!!

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

yes, doctors suck, but also "the medical ethics and patient interaction training doctors receive reinforces ableism" and "the hyper competitive medical school application process roots out the poor, the disabled, and those who would diversify the field" and "anti-establishment sentiment gets applications rejected and promotions requests denied, weeding out the doctors on our side" and "the gruesome nature of the job and the complete lack of mental health support for medical practitioners breeds apathy towards patients" and "insurance companies often define treatment solely on a cost-analysis basis" and "doctors take on such overwhelming student loan debt they have no choice but to pursue high paying jobs at the expense of their morals" are all also true

none of this absolves doctors of the truly horrendous things they say and do to patients, but it's important to acknowledge that rather than every doctor being coincidentally a bad person, there is something specific about this field and career path that gives rise to such high prevalence of ableist attitudes

and I WILL elaborate happily

I recently started using a cane everyday and so my previously invisible disability is suddenly visible. I also started medschool. It's been a while since I was properly social so I have questions...

People don't walk next to me. And if they accidentally do, they leave to walk next to someone else even if that means squeezing in three people on the sidewalk. No one talks to me if it's not to ask me "what's wrong". I have really tried to make an effort and talk to people but I don't know what to do.

Can it have something to do with my disability and my cane? Like they're scared to say the wrong thing? Or maybe it's because they've sensed the autism?;)

I recently went on a touristy vacation where I knew we were going to be walking a lot so I brought the cane I have with me. Mind you it was a 3ish week long vacation in a foreign country. I had bought a cane maybe a year before even though my doctor didn't think I needed it because "you could just sit down or not walk for long distances instead" and "you're too young to use a cane". So naturally I ignored her and followed my disabled friend's advice instead and bought a cane. But I barely used it because I got in my own head about not reaaally needing it and other internalised ableism stuff. Also people staring didn't help.

Fast forward to the vacation where I used it religiously. And it helped soo much! I noticed I could walk farther and walk for more days in a row, because my pain levels were lower. It helped so much that I could no longer justify not using it to myself.

Now it's 6 weeks later and I use my cane everyday.

Yeah, so where's my credit?🥺

Being chronically ill or having chronic pain is exhausting, but it's also normal for you after a while, so it's not really a bummer most of the time. It's just "oh yeah lol my hands usually feel like someone attacked them with small hammers" but you know, it's whatever.

That is, until one time you get up on the wrong side of the bed, or you're a bit hormonal, or too many other things go wrong, or you're just Sick Of It for a minute, and you completely break down and you can't stand the continuous discomfort, the tiredness, the pain, the having to remember medication, always keeping your guard up, dealing with risks day to day, watching your self care habits, not being able to work (and oftentimes having to anyway) etc etc. But then you're fine again and you go back to the small hammers and it's normal again.

It's tough living with that and never getting any credit for it, tbh

I've been considering shaving my head because of the pain. It's still constant and my hair makes it worse. Is it stupid? Will I regret it? Will I feel like I'm "giving in" to the pain? Does that even make sense? I'm tired of feeling like I have no control over the pain. And this feels like a way I can maybe at least not hurt myself more and gain a little control back? I don't know. I'm tired

It's so frustrating that my neurologist is so clearly in over his head. To my face he's denying that there's any uncertainty in the diagnosis he has given me and is blaming anything that doesn't fit on my mental health. But on paper he has gone back and forth between two diagnosises for months now. He is switching between the two every time he writes in my medical chart and when I ask him about it he denies that he's unsure. I can't fucking wait to start af the headache clinic

The pain is more incredibly annoying than unbearable

“Don’t be such a big baby.” I say to myself as the pain from my body starts to grow so loud I can hardly hear my own thoughts anymore. 

I think the biggest misconception abled people have about disabled people's pain is that it feels like normal pain everyone has felt before, and that you can get used to it and grow a tolerance like normal pain.

ITS NOT LIKE THAT

Here's an example, when I was 12 I got a daith piercing in my ear, It was the worst pain I had ever felt. I felt like someone was trying to crush my skull.

Then I became disabled, And that became the worst pain I ever felt. My joints felt like they were literally on fire almost constantly for over 3 years. It NEVER felt less painful.

Last year I had to get my daith repierced, it felt like a tiny pinch.

The constant chronic pain I feel has increased my tolerance for normal pain, but you cannot increase tolerance for chronic pain. It is always excruciating at worst, very uncomfortable at best, the pain never hurts less. You just learn how to accept it and strengthen your mind enough to think past the pain. YOU CANNOT GET USED TO CHRONIC PAIN. That's why we can't "push through it", or "toughen up". It's not normal pain, your brain is literally confused and forces you to feel pain because it thinks you're extremely injured.

Imagine burning your arm on something reeaaally hot, now imagine the burning sensation you feel is inside your muscles and joints and not on the surface on your skin, now imagine feeling that 24/7 and you can't get rid of it. That's what I'm dealing with man. Do you abled people get it now??

I've been dealing with some of the worst pain of my life for the past 6 ish months. Knowing it could have been avoided if my pain doc had not decided to stop one of my medications is bittersweet. If she had only listened when I told her the pain was worse. But she didn't care. She simply told me to try not to think about it. I should have fought harder but I was so exhausted and dissociated. I've finally started treatment for it again, I just hope it works fast. I'm so tired...

Since this, the pain has gotten worse to the point that I have between 5 and 10 pain free days a month and I finally saw a neurologist for it. And it's not migraines. It's atypical facial pain and I'm finally starting treatment🥳

Can't believe it took me 8 years to realise that the random pain I get in half of my face for a couple of days to a week every other month is a migraine...

I always thought it didn't matter bc it's not every day like my fibro pain

you do not deserve your pain

you did nothing to deserve your pain

ur allowed to be sad/angry/scared/frustrated/bitter/etc about your physical disability btw. About not being able to do stuff u once could. About pain, fatigue, brain fog, other symptoms getting worse. About the loss.

U dont have to be an inspiration or be Tough about it all the time or even ever. Ur allowed to feel what u feel. Don't have to buy into "blessing in disguise" narrative. Don't have to go "well I'm not me without it" if thats not ur reality/experience. It's allowed to just suck and ur allowed to not want it and wish you didn't have it and wish there was a cure. Ur allowed to hate it and ur allowed to feel trapped in ur body.

You don't have to shut those feelings away and deny they exist just bc it's not how you "should be feeling".

[This is about physical disabilities specifically. If it resonates w/ u about a non physical disability that's great but please don't derail. Thank you 💛]

if you live with chronic pain you are the baddest bitch on earth. literally badass as fuck. also you are cool and mysterious and everyone thinks ur sexy. every day u wake up in pain u wake up hotter and cooler than the day before. trust me thats how it works.

Babygirl my brain is creating so many physical aches unexplainable by modern medicine

When I go to the doctor, they hand me paperwork with a chart to locate my pain. I can’t pinpoint it. I “X” my whole body. My entire life.

— Glenis Redmond, from "I Stay Sick," The Listening Skin

Can't believe it took me 8 years to realise that the random pain I get in half of my face for a couple of days to a week every other month is a migraine...

I always thought it didn't matter bc it's not every day like my fibro pain