I Changed My Facebook Relationship Status To In A Relationship With Chocolate

Regarding old relationships, most days I’m fine. I’ve come to terms with the loss and damage done and know all I can do is move forward and try to heal. Maybe some day even make myself that vulnerable again. I also recognize my part in my own pain and most of the time turn any anger or sadness inward. It is my fault I allowed it to happen over and over. I refused to learn my lesson, to protect my heart and soul even when I knew they were in danger of being crushed. 

But some days I just get so fucking angry seeing the things you say and share about how you wish for loving, accepting relationships. THAT WAS ME, YOU IGNORANT FUCK. Those things you claim you want? I gave all of it to you. I gave all of me to you. I gave more than I should have and more than you deserved.

Though I realize none of it is actually aimed my direction and that there were many factors as to why things happened the way they did, I can’t help it that I feel invalidated by the implication that you haven’t had someone in your life to give you these things when I was right by your side for years practically begging you to allow me. 

It’s dark in here Feeling my way through my feelings Like an ancient overgrown jungle labyrinth Sight stolen, hands outstretched Escape seems impossible And it only grows darker

The darkness in my head thick viscid pulling me under

I once thought you had come to banish the darkness It turns out you only came to snuff out my remaining light

When you avoid your feelings, you bury your passion

What is life without passion?

I'd like to have compassion for him but I can't I've already given him too much of my heart.

You tainted my book

The one where all my words go Every other page soiled With thoughts of you Poems of adoration And lines of punishment My devotion literally Written all over it

You tainted my heart

Leap of Faith can be an expensive ride,  though well worth it I just wish I were worth the price   of admission to you