Submitted Post

I'm reading a fanfic atm and they have Voldemort wearing trainers - I'm not sure how I feel about this lol

No thoughts, head empty, only Kakashi tiredly fighting 2 Akatsuki lumberjacks with (1) kunai and like half of a normal person’s chakra while looking out for his dead friend’s students 

Sirius, at Regulus's funeral: Can I have a moment alone with him, please?

*everyone leaves*

Sirius, leaning over the casket: I know you're not really dead, dipshit.

Regulus, from inside: Yeah bro, no shit.

obsessed with this muppet clip where Gonzo breaks a piece of machinery and then just stares at the camera in an empty room and says ‘GUILT’ in the most harrowing way possible

That yes that is friendship,to continue being friend even after being released from the bridge

do yourself a favor and read “Oh God, Not Again!” by Sarah1281

it is a harry potter fanfic from like 2009, 160k words, 50 chapters

basically, adult Harry accidentally goes back in time and wakes up on his 11th birthday again, but with all his memories of the future intact

(the way he travels back makes no sense whatsoever but it doesn’t really matter)

harry decides upon 3 goals:

fuck up as much shit as possible

make a shitload of money

save some lives or whatever

it is

H I L A R I O U S

his go-to explanation for how he knows what’s going to happen?

he has a psychic scar

(hermione is SO PISSED about this)

(neville’s like “either he’s psychic, or he’s the greatest conman alive”)

everyone just sort of assumes harry’s insane and he doesn’t do much to dispute this

harry also decides to make it his mission in life to LOSE the house cup every year

“snape is my sole ally”

he also goes out of his way to befriend neville, ginny, and luna earlier this time, so they’re part of the gang throughout and it’s great

even draco is a friend!

(kind of)

(when harry’s not spreading a rumor that draco’s the lovechild of narcissa and snape, anyway)

harry’s motivation for everything he does in this story is basically, “oh, this will be hilarious”

either that or, “it’s probably a tax deductible”

because the way lockhart is written in this story is also amazing and harry ends up teaming up with him to merchandise The Boy Who Lived so he can have cash to burn

(so he gets a LOT of shit done via bribes)

it gets to the point where harry is able to convince everyone that he’s not the heir of slytherin…. because if he was, he’d have found a way to make money off of it

and everyone’s like “yeah ok that checks out”

in this timeline, neville’s boggart isn’t snape…. it’s harry as the minister of magic

harry also decides to make sure cedric lives by quizzing him constantly on what to do if he ends up in a graveyard

harry: by the way, that reminds me – cedric. graveyard.

cedric, not even really listening: run like hell.

the sheer magnitude to which harry does not give a fuck in this timeline is truly awe-inspiring

he mouths off to everyone, and i mean everyone. lockhart, snape, the dursleys, malfoy, friggin’ voldemort

everyone is like “what… what the fuck, harry”

(though by the end of first year it’s more like “… *deep sigh* … fine.

snape is so angry

it’s fucking hysterical and just about everyone ends up better off

here’s the link

thank me later

Sirius, bursting into Regulus's room: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?

Regulus: At the hands of your sibling?

Sirius: An accident.

Regulus: Yeah, it will be an 'Accident'.

regulus brews wolfsbane potion for remus and gives him a bell like those apps that remind you to drink water

wjdhhddj i just know regulus went up to remus and just flat out asked if he could do it and remus was like uHm

forty first prompt:

regulus survives and wakes up in the future during one of harry’s years, but at what cost? none were supposed to be able to live past the inferni, and now that he has he has to live with a horrible curse: control of the undead.

Regulus: Now can I panic?

Bellatrix: Officially, as your mentor, I’m supposed to say no. But yes, I would probably panic.