Nandadb - ¡Hey Fer!

Hey! Just a quick reminder that Cinco de Mayo is not widely celebrated in Mexico, nor is it Mexican Independence Day. Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican army’s victory in a battle against the French in 1862, in what is known as the Battle of Puebla, and it is only celebrated... well, in Puebla and in the US by white people who would probably yell at me to go back to my country if they ever caught me speaking Spanish in their presence.

Now if y’all still want to honor Mexico in this day, you might not be aware of the train that collapsed on Mexico City during the night on May 3th due to governmental negligence, which left several people gravelly injured and some people sadly passed away. They were all working class, and they don’t have the resources to pay their medical bills, and the government is not being helpful at all with their situation. Here’s an article about it and how you can help.

Also here are some links about what’s happening in Colombia and Latin America as a whole.

It's like

"Yes, sir"

This....

🤩🤗

Mubadala World Tennis Championship champion!

Fast Times at Kattegat High (Chapter 5)

sparkly moodboard by this sweet thing who indulges me too much! @punkrocknpearls 🥰 not sure this sub-par story deserves such a pretty edit, but here we are 🥲

pairing: ubbe x plus size!reader x hvitserk

type: multi-chapter

summary: You’re a known loner in high school who gets regularly humiliated by resident bully Magnus. But one day, Ubbe puts him in place and he develops an interest in you. And the Lothbroks, especially Hvitserk, decide to befriend you and protect you.

overall series warnings: bullying, fat-shaming, insecurities, some pretty blunt threats of violence, heaps of sexual tension (with no actual smut in sight), cloyingly sweet fluffy fluff, polyamorous negotiations, a few patches of angst, frequent cursing, platonic romance, underage characters, slow burn, sappy shit

ao3: amyponders || spotify playlist

chapter word count: 3.8k

a/n: buckle up bitches, it's sexual tension o'clock in this house. also, this is pretty much my favorite chapter in the whole story so you know what that means, right? it's an overdose of hvitserk

taglist: @ritual-unions-gotme, @xbellaxcarolinax, @flowers-in-your-hayr, @solinarimoon, @flokisdaughter, @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom, @punkrocknpearls, @pieces-by-me, @grimeundglow, @mrsalwayswrite, @istorkyou, @nandadb

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ •••• ━━━━••

Your brother-in-law turned around unceremoniously and headed for the chair in front of his computer.

You padded softly into his familiar bedroom, the soles of your feet sliding against the smooth floor to stand on one foot and watch Hvitserk’s retreating half-naked figure.

On any other day, he would’ve excitedly tackled you down to the bed with a hug, probably making you cuddle him for hours so it felt weird to see him so unenthusiastic to have you there. There was something definitely off about him.

But at least his room looked the same and it brought you joy. It had been some weeks since you’d last visited Hvitserk there, but it was still just as you remembered it: spacious, cozy, tidied up - though not excessively so like Ivar’s - and with just the right amount of decoration. There was only a small bundle of discarded clothes - the ones he’d been wearing to the picnic - near the bed.

“So is this how it’s going to be?” He plopped down on the chair lazily.

“What do you mean?

“I mean you spend all your time with my brother and you only hang out with me when he leaves you alone...”

“What?!” Your eyebrows linked together. “I’ve been around you for the past day. And I’m staying the weekend. I’m not leaving until Monday at least...”

“Yeah, you said it. You’ve been around me. But we’ve barely spoken. And it’s been at least two weeks since you last came here to spend time with me.” Hvitserk motioned to the room as he spread out on his chair, knees almost touching the armrests. “But who’s counting?”

You bit your lip considering his complaint and hung your head to one side. “You know what? You’re right, Serk. I’m sorry. It’s just Ubbe-”

“He’s your priority. I know. I’m just saying… I miss you too.” His tone was soft and warm as always.

“I’ll try to do better. I promise.” You threw the pillow on Hvitserk’s king-sized bed among his other four or five pillows and several cushions and sank down on his fluffy mattress, not really bothering to ask for his permission anymore. It wouldn’t be the first time you took over his room.

“Okay… Thank you.” Hvitserk nodded and faced his computer. “And well… You know that my room is your room. Stay as long as you need.” He put on his headset and started clicking around, probably looking to start a new game with his buddies.

After some minutes of scrolling down your feed on your phone, feet up on his headboard, you decided it was better to come out with it. You couldn’t stay the night if he was going to keep skirting around you.

“Serk…” You tossed your phone aside.

No answer.

“Serk!” You raised your voice a bit short of a shout.

“What?!” Hvitserk responded, startled. “My bad, I didn’t hear you.”

“So… are we going to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” He jabbed at his keyboard repeatedly, biting the inside of his cheek. “Uh, no one, man.” He added randomly then scrambled to mute himself and turn off his camera. He looked over his shoulder at you briefly and tapped on his headset, signaling it had been one of his pals.

“What is it?” You narrowed your gaze and stayed silent for a few seconds. Since he didn’t react, you deliberately waited until Hvitserk unmuted himself and turned on his camera to prod him again. “What is he saying?”

He stiffened up his freckled shoulders and continued chewing on the inside of his mouth. You could see he was purposefully trying to ignore you, pretending he hadn’t heard your question so he could avoid answering it - most likely because he didn’t want to have to explain to his buddies who you were and what you were doing in his room so late at night.

Well, fuck that. You thought and sat upright, crossing your legs in lotus position. “Serk!” You whined twice as loud as before. They most definitely heard you now.

“Uh… Nothing, babe, nothing.” He replied defeatedly while pressing the keys in a frenzy. “They just asked me who was here with me.”

“Babe?!” You heard the shrill shriek of his teasing friend from your spot all the way back in Hvitserk’s bed.

“And you said ‘no one’?” You treated him to a sassy expression.

Hvitserk mumbled something on the microphone that sounded like “guys, please” and you stood behind him to peep at his computer screen.

There were at least three friends on his streaming session, all of them shirtless and wearing pajama bottoms. Although none of them looked as good as Hvitserk did, you mused unexpectedly.

He looked relaxed and effortlessly attractive in his black sweatpants, dark blond hair gathered in a low bun at his nape, toned athletic body on display, while they just looked... plain and homeless.

You scrunched your brow at your sudden rude thoughts, but the notion was unavoidable. They didn’t necessarily look like a pack of people you would see a snobby Lothbrok hanging out with. Perhaps Ubbe would, but Bjørn would never even look down their way. And Ivar would sooner die than speak to these rowdy unpopular-looking kids.

You saw their expressions turn on a dime and their concentration wobble between the game and your newly arrived presence.

Hvitserk took off his headset reluctantly so you could hear them through the laptop’s speakers.

“She doesn’t look like no one.” One of Hvitserk’s friends said.

“Hey, come closer! Serk, tell her to come closer. I can’t see what she’s wearing.” Another guffawed excitedly.

“Guys!” Hvitserk’s spine straightened and he inhaled, his chest broadening up in an attempt to hide you from their view but you walked even closer, not giving a shit what his wishes were.

“We need to talk, lover boy…” You sounded like a nagging girlfriend but you didn’t care. His game could wait. But your situation couldn't. You tangled your fingers on some loose strands of his pretty hair to soften your request.

“Yeah, yeah, gimme a sec.” He shivered at your touch, his skin turning to goose flesh.

“Ohhh, she’s bossy, Serk! And flirty. I like it!”

You set an elbow on Hvitserk’s shoulder blade leaning forward over his puffed-up chest so you could see them better and the lacy hem of your thin-strapped silk chemise slid down your fleshy breasts. It didn’t fit as snugly as your matching pajama pants. “That’s cuz I’m his girlfriend.” You lied and shot the guy a cheeky grin.

Hvitserk angled his neck to look at you but you stared ahead at the computer.

“You fucking dog! You’re eating well, Serk.”

You smirked when one of Hvitserk’s friends wolf-whistled, congratulating him on his good taste. A few months earlier perhaps you would’ve shrunk back mortified to have a man’s attention but now it was a more familiar and less scary territory.

“Give us a sneak peek, sweetheart.” Another one of them urged you to undress by motioning to your falling top.

“Guys, seriously? Fucking behave. Don’t talk to her like that!”

“And who the hell might you be?” You continued your banter, speaking over Hvitserk.

“We’re the friends who didn’t matter enough to know about your existence until now.” One of the guys shot back and laughed heartily.

You had no clue how they were able to play and hold a conversation with you.

“Nah, nah, nah. I won’t believe it ‘til you two kiss!” The friend who spoke first addressed you both.

After gliding a finger down his smooth cheekbone, you gripped Hvitserk’s jaw between your thumb and forefinger to make him turn his face, then you bent to kiss the corner of his lips. It was close enough to be playfully risky but not close enough to be unchaste.

Hvitserk licked the corner of his mouth acknowledging the faint ghost of your kiss but he kept staring ahead, making an effort to hide his true reaction, except for the inevitable scarlet blood that pumped through his face and spread evenly across his nude chest - which he obviously couldn’t help.

“Do you believe it now? You better! Because that’s all I’m giving you. The real kisses happen when the camera’s off.”

They groaned frustratedly eliciting a giggle from you.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us.” You hung an arm across Hvitserk’s shoulder to reach forward, chest pressed against his hot skin. You closed down the laptop to find him staring at you partly annoyed, partly stunned.

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what? Almost kiss you, lie about us or close the computer?”

“Either one. All of them.”

You shrugged calmly. “It’s fun.”

He wrinkled his face but ended up grinning begrudgingly and shaking his head in pretend disapproval.

“See? You’re smiling again already.” You propped yourself up on his desk next to his computer, legs dangling above the ground. “Some friends you got there, though.”

“Yeah, they’re cavemen. Sorry about that.” He lounged against the back of his chair to look at you better. Unsurprisingly for you, a lollipop fell from his pocket with the motion and he bent to pick it up and set it aside next to you mindlessly. Hvitserk loved to munch or suck on sugared things often so he carried sweets and candy bars with him at all times. “What’s so urgent that you had to kill my game?”

“We have to talk about this thing you say you feel for me.”

“This thing I say I feel?” He all but scorned. “Do you doubt it?”

“Not exactly. I knew it already as you so… eloquently… let me know on prom night but... today was different.”

“What do you mean?”

“C’me on, Serk. I saw you while you were leaving the picnic. You looked pretty mad. I’ve never seen you like that before.”

Hvitserk dug his elbows on his knees while inclining his head forward, and he laughed that full laugh of his but this time dripping with irony. “Well, just because you don’t see me, it doesn't mean it never happens.”

“Oh, please.” You chuckled a low nervous sound to try and clear the air. “Don't tell me you sit around in your room sulking like that all the time.” It was an awkward conversation but it needed to happen.

“No. Maybe. Sometimes.” He conceded in the end while gawking at your swaying thick legs enveloped in the figure-hugging expensive silk pajamas that Ubbe had bought you.

“Well, I don’t want you to. You shouldn’t be this hung up on me.” You countered sadly, and then explained yourself so he’d understand your stance. “I’m not mad at you having feelings, more like... just upset that you’re having a tough and unhappy time. It’s depressing to know that you’re hurting.”

“It’s not like I can turn it off.”

“I know that, but… can you live with it? I want my friend back.”

“I’ve never left, Y/N. And I never will. I can do both things just fine.”

“What two things?”

He stayed silent but eyed you knowingly. In the end, he explained the obvious: “I can have feelings for you and still be your friend.”

“Right… It’s just… I’m afraid that you will end up resenting me… Or your brother. And I don't want that to happen. I don't want to be the reason why you two fall out.”

“Y/N, that’s not going to happen. We’ve-”

“...Yes?”

“We’ve liked the same girl before.” He looked to the side at a pile of vintage punk rock albums on his shelf.

“Really? Who? Torvi?!”

“No, not Torvi. It doesn't matter who she was…”

“And what did you do?”

“Well…” He studied your face briefly before confessing: “At first we didn't know she was having sex with the other. But after we found out, we agreed to keep dating her…”

“At the same time?”

“Yeah.”

“And she knew?”

“Yeah…”

“Wow… “

“I suppose Ubbe never told you.”

“No…” You weren't quite sure what to make of this new piece of information.

Discovering Ubbe’s past conquests through one of his brother’s indiscretions was shaping out to be a routine by now. With a frown on your forehead, you made a mental note to ask your boyfriend about it later.

Right now, the most pressing doubt you had was how come Ubbe still didn't mind Hvitserk’s feelings for you... or your inappropriately close relationship for that matter. These questions had nagged at your thoughts for a while now but you were sort of afraid of bringing up the subject and interrogating Ubbe directly.

“Well, it doesn't matter because we’re not going to share you.”

“Why not?” The words escaped you and you kicked yourself for speaking the first thing that came to mind.

Hvitserk raised his eyebrows teasingly and his lips twitched up. “Well, because I have a feeling neither you nor Ubbe want to… Besides, if I'm being completely honest, I don't want that either. It’s too… messy.” He concluded.

“Care to elaborate?” You clutched the lollipop and decided to have it for yourself.

“No… just that. If I were dating you, I wouldn’t want to share, s’all.” The low lighting in the room wasn't enough to hide the scarlet taint in his cheeks. “Though sometimes it feels as if that's what we're doing.”

“Sharing?”

“Yeah, except he gets all the sex and I get all the other bits of you.”

“The boring bits?” You pressed with an ironic smile.

“Nah, there's nothing boring about you...”

You swirled your tongue around the candy to see with slight amusement how Hvitserk twitched in his chair and glanced around the room not wanting to leave his eyes brimming with desire fixed on you. Even if - for his sake - you didn’t want him to crush on you, it felt undeniably good to make him blush.

“...but you know, the ones that don’t include spreading you open in the middle of a field and burying myself balls deep inside you.” He concluded sarcastically.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“No, you’re not.” He smiled unabashedly. “But that’s okay… You guys can do whatever you want to.”

You refrained from speaking for a bit, eyes on the floor trying to gather your thoughts. “It seems weird that Ubbe doesn't mind our friendship, don't you think?”

“I mean, he lets us be because he trusts you. He knows you love him and would never cheat on him...”

“That's still a little too trusting.”

“What are you saying?”

“I'm saying maybe he left on purpose?”

“What?”

“To see what we would do…”

“Well… not much if I know you half as well as I think I do.” He treated you to a slightly arrogant smirk.

“Maybe he wants me to see what I feel.” You mumbled to yourself and a second later your eyes widened over your lack of discretion.

“Huh?!”

“No, n-nothing.”

“Y/N... Speak!” Hvitserk slid his chair forward, cornering you in place in case you were thinking of bolting to his bed to avoid him.

“Ugh…” You pursed your lips. “After you kissed me, I told Ubbe what you did. And he asked me if I had feelings for you and I said…”

“Yes? What did you say, Y/N?” There was a hopeful twinkle in his eyes that you felt guilty for savoring.

You exhaled, not missing the way he poised his body expectantly. “Well, to be perfectly honest I said that I didn’t think I did... because kissing you... confused me. But do you think he would do something like that? Leave us here to test me… or... test us?” You frowned trying to shift the subject away from your admission of uncertainty.

“Maybe…” Hvitserk shrugged. “Or maybe he left you here with me because he really had to bolt... C’me on, Y/N! Ubbe knows that our relationship is purely platonic! It’s not the first time he lets you spend the night. So why would his intentions be any different this time?” Hvitserk tried to reason with you. “Although, I’m always down to kiss you again and confuse you some more.” His dark emerald eyes shined like two polished jewels and they gifted you a wink.

You yanked the lollipop away from your lips with a pop and you grinned at your best friend, teasing him. “Yeah, you would like that. Wouldn’t you?”

“Wouldn't you?” He baited you by tilting his head back exposing his muscled ivory-white neck to you as he collected his arms above his head.

You crunched down the candy between your teeth not bothering to finish licking it and your gaze snaked up his unfurled frame; legs wide open, taut abdomen gleaming with a sheer coat of sweat, and the muscles in his chest, arms, and shoulders tensing as he outstretched.

“I know you like what you see.” He remarked with infuriating accuracy.

“I’m not going to dignify either one of those comments with an answer.” Still, you smiled. Then, you sat up from the desk but failed to remember that by standing up, his legs would just circle yours and trap you there. “Let’s just… lay down and snuggle, Serk.” Your nimble fingers made a beeline for his hair. “Let me play with your hair. I can braid it like I do sometimes, yeah?”

Enticing his cute and cuddly side with the promise of some loving physical contact usually worked when you were trying to keep his advances from becoming too upfront and sexual. You could never get him to stop flirting no matter what you did but at least he was amenable to sublimating his other impulses.

“I’m not going to that bed tonight unless I can fall asleep on these puppies.”

He rested his cheek on your bosom, arms tightly cinched around your waist and you scratched his scalp with your fingernails soothingly.

That’s the Hvitserk you remembered. You smiled because you’d missed his bratty behavior and you rolled your eyes only half-annoyed. “I don’t understand your fascination with my chest, honestly.”

“What do you mean you don’t understand? Your tits are amazing, babe. Best pillows ever.” His low voice came out in a muffle as he playfully sank his nose between them and all of a sudden, he stayed still as if your warmth and scent were all he needed to calm down and focus.

“Fine.” You mumbled weakly and shut your eyes enjoying the embrace, thinking that it wouldn’t be the first time that you let him do that.

When the lights were down in his room, it didn’t really matter how he fell asleep on you. Ubbe knew how touchy-feely his brother was and he never mentioned that you shouldn’t let him so you figured it was okay.

However, your eyes shot open at once when you felt a soft clench on the softened peak of your right breast. You gazed downward just in time to watch how Hvitserk bit your sensitive nipple, rolling it around on his teeth through your chemise.

“Serk!” You shrieked.

“Sorry.” He chuckled but there was no hint of regret in his voice whatsoever. “Couldn’t resist.”

You swatted him on his back and he inched away enough to look up at your face.

He kept beaming unashamedly while you considered that the way he made your body respond and your core pulsate some days was very far from proper. Although you would never admit that to anyone but yourself.

“You’re unbelievable!” You scolded him a little less harshly than you really ought to.

Perhaps it had been your fault for letting your friendship ever be this close and weird, but at the same time, you couldn’t regret befriending him, inappropriate playful touching or not. You longed to have Hvitserk near you brightening up your days. His luminous high-spirited presence always gave you a reason to smile.

“Come on, won’t you at least let me see them in person?” Hvitserk’s eyebrows wavered up and down sluggishly, a dreamy grin on his lips.

“No!”

“But why not? What’s the difference? May I remind you I already saw you completely naked in those pictures that you sent to Ubbe?” His hands fell down to cup your ass, melding his fingers to its shape and you wrestled him lightly, tiny little giggles escaping you as it always happened whenever you tried to get him to slide his hands up towards the safer territory of your waist again.

“For which you apologized!”

“Yeah, but I’d fuckin’ kill to see you naked again. Preferably, up close this time.” He crept his right hand to the front of your chemise to stretch it out with one insistent tug. “Just a peek, then?” Hvitserk begged for your permission uselessly since his mischievous eyes were already taking in the sight of your bare round breasts underneath the thin fabric. “Fuck. So lovely.” He praised them.

“No! Serk, don’t do that. Please?” You rebuked him weakly but your tone had changed enough for him to notice that you were truly getting uncomfortable this time.

His body vibrated as he exhaled laboriously. He closed his eyes and buried his nose on your breasts again, his forehead tight against your chest. “My bad.” His voice was obscured by his proximity to your skin because he was huffing hot breaths into your thin clothes to try and steady his breathing. Hvitserk sowed a kiss on your belly and then another, and his body went limp. And just like that, he was docile again. “I’m guessing you don’t want to help me with this either?”

“Help you with... what?”

As he laughed, his back rumbled. “Nothin.’ I’m kiddin’. Forget it, pumpkin.” He turned you around in his embrace, hands gripping your hips and he smacked a loud kiss on your ass cheek lovingly, and you didn’t have the energy to keep chastising him anymore.

A few seconds later, though, you caught his previous meaning as he stood up and you saw his unmissable arousal poking through his sweats.

“Oh, my gods!” You filled your lungs with air and looked away.

“Go lay down. I’ll be there in a few.”

You obeyed and laid down in his bed on your stomach, angling your legs up in the air behind you absently. “Where are you going?” You asked even though you suspected the answer already.

“Gotta take a shower and deal with this.”

Your frame shook with goosebumps thinking that it was the second time in the day that you had made him pleasure himself, probably.

“Otherwise, there won’t be no cuddling in that bed tonight.” Hvitserk’s brazen gaze traveled down your arched back and along the curve of your ass to settle on it as he wet his lips. He peeled his eyes away from your rear begrudgingly. “Believe me.”

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Okay BUT he in every gif 😳

EDWARD HOLCROFT as James Cox in

The Undeclared War - Episode Two dir. Peter Kosminsky

A letter from your future spouse

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

Hello,

You must be up to something, because I cannot get you off my mind. Day and night you haunt me. I type away on my computer, answer phone calls, and I could swear I saw you in the corner of my eyes. At night as I begin to drift, I hear your voice and jolt up, only to be met with an empty room entirely void of you. When you're really here with me in the flesh, I look at you only when you look away. Will I be punished for these stolen glances? You and I, are we forbidden, and if so, who will be the judge?

I thought my life was stable, and in many ways it was. Though it was painted grey, dull. I lived dreary mondays every day of the week. I chased after new experiences, new achievements, new opportunities, new things. New, new, new, new. But it was not until you walked into my life that I truly felt the warmth of the sun and the rain on my skin. Was I colour blind all along? Because you show me colours I never even knew existed. You were truly new. A new light in my life that shines so brightly, but never hurts my eyes. Still I look away. It's not proper, is it? I've been caught up in the crossfire, amidst a battle between head and heart. You're in my heart, you have it in your hands, but didn't I say you are constantly on my mind too? It seems then, my dear, that this battle has a victor, and now I must prcoeed to gather up the courage to speak what I've so carefully kept hidden.

Oh, but you're so observant. You already know. You knew all along, didn't you? You so innocently sat there, knowing I'm a moth to the flame, and that come hail or shine I would find my way to you. You're a mastermind. An architect, the keeper of the blueprint to our tale. I am in awe of you. You were supposed to be a problem, a silly crush I could get over and never act upon, but now I'm thinking of things borrowed and blue. The first day that I saw you lightning struck. It marked the beginning of the end for many things in my life which I had kept around because it was fine. Not perfect, just fine. Suddenly I saw all the cracks and flaws, saw that which I would tolerate, go along with, even when I really didn't want to. You shook me to my core. In many ways, you ruined my life. For the better, I am sure. But for a moment there I wondered what horrors you had unleashed upon me. With your face so sweet and innocent I thought surely you would be unable to trigger earthquakes. And that even if you could, surely you were much too sweet and much too kind to do such thing.

Yet here I stand, amidst the rubble of what I used to call my life. Everything came crashing down because none of it was as stable as it should've been. I'm rebuilding, slowly, and could use some guidance or inspiration. What's your favourite colour? Would you like these tiles for the kitchen? I want to build my life up to look like the perfect home for you. I wish to keep you safe. You've weathered storms just as I have. Had to grow quickly, like dandelions through concrete. You're tired, and I don't want to see you quitting so I am building you a shelter. I promise to keep watch while you get some rest in my arms. When you're healed and strong enough I will provide you the space and time so you can chase your dreams in peace. You can use our home as the foundation for your castle. I know the power you hold, and I will be there to help you wield it.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

02.

Hello,

Coincidentally that is exactly when I knew. "You had me at hello" is such a cliché, but I swear that it is true. I always know trouble when I see it, and you are quite the nightmare indeed. I hope you take no offence to my words. I say what I mean and mean what I say. That typically results in problems, but to me it's another one to toss onto the existing pile. I have a lot of baggage, but if you don't mind, I won't mind yours. Maybe we could get a big storage locker and shove all our baggage in there, lock the door and toss the keys, skip town and never return. It'll all be auctioned off one day for somebody else to deal with. Wouldn't that be nice?

Where was I? Right. Hello. That's when I knew. I always do. I fall very quickly and passionately. Really I leap off into free fall all by my own judgement, sometimes perhaps lack thereof. I know a pretty thing when I see it, though pretty isn't enough, is it? I've learned that the hard way. As I've learned most things. Behind me lays a trail of burnt bridges and broken hearts, though most of those pieces are my own. Most people are unable to tell. I have a reputation, but I think the judgement is unjust. Wholly unfair. I have developed trust issues. Betrayal cuts deep. You know that, don't you? I keep people at bay, and guard my territory fiercly. I am very loyal and I am known for my equal bark and bite. I want to be your guard dog. I swear I will lunge for the jugular if anybody dares cross you. I am protective, albeit a little reckless. I have a lot of scars to prove it.

Little birdies may warn you of me. Tell twisted tales of my exploits. I've been called toxic. Perhaps there is truth to some of it. My love burns bright and hot, but it never wavers. I crave closeness, and wish to crawl into the heart and mind of my target of affections like a spider trespassing into your home to weave its webs in the darkest corners. I want to know you better than anybody else. Know your body, mind, heart, and your soul like it is my own. You will never be left wanting reassurance, because I have known doubt, and doubt is my enemy and I will fight it on sight. You will always know that I am yours. With me you have nothing to fear. Least of all me or my commitment to you and us.

Perhaps we both had to scrape our knees as we crawled through painful loves before we found each other. Together we'll be powerful. A dynamic duo, partners in crime. Those closest to me would come forward as witnesses to my ride or die nature, and you as my life partner will be my biggest testament to this part of my character. You're not too different, are you? You would die for your people, fight with your bare hands if you had to. Together we will face the world. I'll have your back and you'll have mine, a 360° of the battlefield. We can tear down and build up whatever we want. We can build an empire, or bring them down. With you by my side, everything is possible. I would move mountains and part seas for you. Your love is an enchanted rose and I am a beast, and I will wait for you. Come to me quickly.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

03.

Hello,

I hope my words don't bore you with their simplicity. I also hope that you've been well. I have so many questions, but let us not rush. There is no finish line in love, correct? I've been alright. Y'know, ups and downs. I've kept to myself a lot. Self improvement has become akin to an occupation. I always strive to do and be better. I may not seem the kind, but I have a soft heart which I guard closely. I like old timey romance and watch sappy things when I am down. Please don't tell anybody! I am a rock, but for a long time I was but a pebble, kicked around and misplaced. I have moved around a lot and all I want is to grow roots. Would you mind sparing a little spot in your garden? I just need a little sunlight and a fall of rain to grow. I promise I won't waste your time and do my all to never disappoint you.

My affections build slowly. Too slow for many, but I hate accidents and mistakes, at least my own. I strive for perfection, though people tell me it does not exist. I see it in you, though, so they must be wrong. Sure, you have your flaws, but the glue between your cracks glisten in the light and are still beautiful to me. I really do enjoy the simple things. Do you stop to smell the roses too? I have a gentle love to offer. A kitchen bathed in morning sunlight and the smell of pancakes in the air. I'll eat the first pancakes, because the ones I bring to you in bed should be perfect, and the first one never is. You deserve so much good, and I really hope I can provide a lot of that good to you by my own hands.

I am shy, and don't always have a way with words. I will tell you through music how I feel, or paint you on a canvas in all your favourite colours. I'll help you sculpt your dreams and wishes. I'd make a great assistant. I would love to follow you on your way up ladders and mountains. I believe in you like some believe in a higher power. You can put your faith in me too. Love is a choice, and I will make the choice to love you every morning when I rise. You are the kind of fun that doesn't make me ill. The adventure I am unafraid to embark on. We can play our own roles and support each other. I'll be of service to you at every step if you need me. In return I only ask that you hold me close and never let me go.

I fear abandonment, and have known a life without guidance. I've become rigid, and hope that you'll help me bend without snapping and show me the wonders of the unknown. With you by my side I won't be afraid. My skepticism will not be a hindrance because you lead me into uncharted territory as though you have a map, and I trust that you know where we're going. And should uncertainty rise, well, I have dealt with that beast plenty, and I can tame it and send it on its way should it bother you. I will always stand by you so that never again will you need to face challenges alone. You are a promise I will keep forever if you let me.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

04.

Hello,

Have you eaten? Taken your meds? Keep yourself hydrated. Take even just a sip. I apologise if I'm fussing, but I've always been a caregiver. People depend on me. At home, at work, even my friends. I get taken advantage of pretty easily, and I try my best to keep my boundaries. Though I am admittededly prone to a bit of a saviour complex. It's not so much that I don't think others cannot get up on their own, I just think they shouldn't have to. A helping hand is often rare these days. For many, even just the day to day grind is unbearable, so any chance to take the load off another's shoulders and let them rest and catch their breath I'll happily take.

I try my best to be fair, but often lose sight of what's best for me. I want to help and support everyone who needs it, but in my quest to save everyone, I have often abandoned myself. My care is often expected and thus taken for granted. Nobody seems to understand how much it hurts. Well, until I met you anyway. You're a little fire cracker. You have a great presence despite your size. You're honest and so very clever. I was instantly in awe by your radiance, your willpower, your resilience and your strength. You taught me important lessons. I'm older than you but sometimes I feel like a student listening to my teacher preach. You're opinionated and steadfast, and have such a strong sense of justice. You call it like it is, and have called me out aplenty. Always well-intentioned. You get worked up easily, and I find it rather cute. You scold me like a parent their child when I don't take up enough space, don't hold my head high, or when I give away too much for free. You are objective and fair, never tell me I'm right or wrong unless I really am. It's refreshing. You're like a breath of fresh air.

It pains me to hear of your past. How you've been to hell and back. You face struggles even when you really can't or feel like giving up. You always get back up again, always try to find another way around when an obstacle sits in the way of where you're going. You've lived life on hardmode, and now I yearn to make things easier for you. You if anyone deserves my devotion. I know you are much too just to take advantage of my kindness and return my love in earnest. I trust you, and that says a lot as I've only ever been able to trust myself.

Would you let me be your safe space? We can build you a nest and make sure you have the nicest, softest things and plenty of snacks. I wish to provide you the space and time to really relax and let your guard down. You can safely get in touch with your inner child and heal them from all their past wounds. I will guard your sanctuary and let you be free and able to go wherever your heart desires. Let your curiosity guide you, and I will follow and keep bandaids in my pocket should you stumble and fall. You don't need to be strong all the time, and you need not be ready for battle at all hours of the day. I will take the wheel and take us in the direction of your choice whilst you rest safe and sound for as long and as much as you want and need.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

05.

Hello,

Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear, ay? Am I late, or were you just early? It seems as though you've been waiting a long time. Wasted your time kissing a whole lot of frogs, huh? Settled for good enough? Jumped from ship to ship like a pirate looking for the best loot? Well, congratulations! You made it. I'm here now! I'm just kidding, but I am, in fact, very happy now that you found me. Lots of hurdles to get over, had to crumple up many plans and ideas and kick yourself into gear on the career front. I'm far from your finish line, I am merely a little prize for a job well done. And now you'll have me by your side for the next chapters. Oh, the adventures we will have! How exciting, I can hardly wait.

Something important you had to learn before you got here is beating the status quo to the curb. You always did struggle with fitting into a neat little box and following orders, didn't you? Yet so many fools tried to bend your will and make you follow a nice little step by step pre-determined program. Hah, as if you'd ever be happy giving up your freedom like that. And I adore that about you. To hell with the status quo. I never do what is expected of me unless I myself set or agreed to those expectations. This is my life, and your life is yours. Wanna dance? Because I'll choose to court you on sight, and I hope you don't make me look like yet another fool because truly, I tell you, our dance will be an exhilarating one. We can both lead, because screw the rules!

Do not mistake my arrogance and my eleutheromania as purely egoic and a sign of wavering commitment. Though I have my admirers and my comrades, I am fiercly loyal. I do intend to flaunt you, because you are a dream come true worthy of the spotlight. I hope you're not shy, and if you are, then well, it'll be that much more entertaining for me to see you flustered by all the attention and applause. So learn to take a compliment, kiddo, because you just hit the jackpot and the prize includes a lifetime supply of praise. Along with a steadfast support system, as not only will I be at your beck and call, I fully intend to introduce you to my network of friends in higher places. Fret not, because your wildest dreams will soon appear mundane as together with some found family we will get where you are going so much faster than you've been going before.

Speaking of family, I'm not very close with mine. Perhaps neither are you, so you will understand the feeling of always having to do everything yourself and not having the kind of safety net that a family can provide. This is why I have collected friends over the years to whom I serve as family and they the same for me in return. In my anxieties of abandonment and neglect, I do everything in my power to help and support my loved ones because I know what it feels like to be without as much as encouragement on this journey of life. If you ever need some kind words, I'll be sure to whisper them in your ear and shout your name from the rooftops. You deserve the world, so pack your bags. We have tickets to explore it all.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

06.

Hello,

I pray you did not hear me talking to myself. I cry out into the void often. My mind, always abuzz with what ifs and wonder, has its way of driving me mad. Often I feel like a mad scientist, fixated on something so long I fail to take care of all my human needs. Before I know it, the sun has set and made way for the night. I recognise the passing of time only when I notice it is dark and the only source of light is the screen right on front of me. I have so many tabs open in my head I don't always notice what goes on around me. But you startled me. Admittededly I did not notice right away, but when I did I was shocked. It must've been weeks before I zoned out, watching your face as I thought of absolutely nothing. I waited for you to finish whatever it was that you were occupied with, and then it hit me. You're beautiful and I like you.

It feels easy to be around you. I can't say the same for many people, if any. I have had plenty of offers, but competing against my solitude is difficult. A race few finish, and none truly come out of as the victor. I get bored easily, and I must be honest and admit that though I may be quickly intrigued and glue myself to my newest interest, my attention is hard to keep. I enjoy the rush of newness, and yearn for a love that stays fresh and full of intrigue. And I found that in you. For you lead your own life, explore your own paths, then report back to me your newest finds. We pick apart things and situations like mechanics figuring out all the parts of a new machine. Then we go and find new things to inevitably share, and sometimes we journey together too. There is always something. I no longer feel like I am the only one keeping the conversation going. No longer the one in charge of every who and what and how and why and when and where. You pull your own weight. For once I, too, feel fascinating. And not only do I feel interesting, I find you equally interesting. It didn't drop for either of us.

Some may look at us strangely, but good heavens, are some people so easily lulled into a boring and mundane routine. Every time I would cry out my woes, I was called childish. Told that love will and should settle into a comfortable and steady routine. That it is normal for the excitement of newness to fade as you get to know someone. I refused to believe every relationship was doomed to become such a snooze. And I am glad you did too, because you keep growing as I grow and our vines they intertwine and part ways and cross again in this intricate web of possibilities. To know you is to be a student of law or medicine. Doctors and lawyers practice their craft, they're not fixed by a mere degree because neither law or medicine is fixed. It is ever-changing and developing. I pinch myself because I can hardly believe I found another student like me.

Never fear I will leave you feeling stupid. I am aware of my own merit, but never wield it against anyone, unless needed. You are very clever and you have strengths and skills that I do not. I promise to be there to listen, especially in times when nobody else will. I have known loneliness and neglect. My curiosity is a form of escapism as I run away from the eldritch horrors of my past. Please be direct with me. Within me lives a tired old hopeless romantic, whom I locked away in shame as I was told it never plays out like in the movies. But you've proved to me that it actually does. And for you I'll do anything. Though you sometimes leave me tongue tied and flustered, you stabilize me. As thanks you'll have my loyalty and devotion. I'm used to taking care of others, and I know my care won't be misplaced on you. I read people easily already, but please allow me to study your face and note down every micro-expression so that I will always be able to tell how you are feeling even when you feel unable to put it into words.

Sincerely, your future spouse.

Thank you for the tag @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie

Favorite Colour: Green

Currently Reading; The great God Pan by Machen, weird but awesome, by the way.

Last Song: Loves me Not by tatu

Last Movie: Yes Man With Jim Carrey LoL

Last Show: Chicago P.D 😂

Sweet, Spicy or savoury: Spicy 😝

Craving: ... Lemon ice cream (idk) 😂

Tea or Coffee: Tea (maybe).

Tag s

@eliza123sworld @ialexandrasandoval @poetryofmayhem @lotofnoise @ihope-youthinkofme @poucolindo

tag game x

Oh thanks so much for the tag @ancientmariner13, you’re so thoughtful to think of me!

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better.

Favourite colour: Green.

Currently reading: I’m about to start Scenarios by Werner Herzog [basically the screenplays of some of his most famous works]

Last song: Up All Night by Girlfriends

Last movie: 

Last show:  The Untamed, I just finished it! Now I’m watching Heavan’s Offical Blessings.

Sweet, spicy or savoury: Can we do both savory and spicy? Nothing like salt or spice IMO!

Craving: A pen between my fingers. 

Tea or coffee: I’m drinking chai now but coffee.

I tag @baudelairesspleen @moativational @ilovethepreraphaelites @the-neverland-puffin @vulpecula-study @hedda-gabler @weltonboys @solaceinbooks @acaemia

Nobody's tagged me but I will do it anyway.

1) Gally

2)ANAKIN

3) Roman

4) KEVIN ATWATER AND RUSEK (From Chicago P D)

5) Ragnar

5 Male Characters I love

I was tagged by the lovely @jonskory 💜 Thank you dear!

In no particular order....

1) Levi Ackerman not me binge watching AOT 4 times in a row in the last month

2) Tommy Shelby

3) Jamie Fraser

4) Kanan Jarrus

5) Lucius Hunt

I love these, they’re so fun

I’ll tag: @emberoflife @patritxi @sansasurvived and anyone else that would like to play, you can say I tagged you ☺️

Of course yes!

I watch Marvel movies for the plot.

I watch Marvel movies for the plot.

I watch them for the plot!

For the plot!

For the plot?

I definitely watch these movies for the plot...

Added a new plot for RDJ stans.

When you want to smash your screen but you can’t cause you don’t want to pay for the consequences

2017 Next Gen ATP Finals - Final - Rublev 1-3 Chung