The Cruel Prince: World’s Most Serious Game Of Kiss, Marry, Kill

Yes.

Weird thought, but do you think Halt ever thought about the fact that Lord Orman’s situation was similar to his own? Being the unlikable, aloof one, and having to contend with the fact that people preferred your much more charismatic relative, regardless of their true nature?

Just a thought.

lil miss cringe delulu manifestation damsel in distress hacker <3<3<3

Me trying to write this sentence:

"Seeing the soldier’s clumsy sword work, Crowley realized that the Hibernian could have simply moved in and driven his saxe into the man’s body as he deflected the blade."

Google: no, not saxe, it has to be a saxophone

if canon won't let crowley absolutely go postal on someone due to that temper we literally never see, i'll have to do it myself

Search Parties Continue To Sweep Ocean For Halt’s Mysterious Friend, Albert

The search continues throughout the seven seas for the elusive “Albert,” who the famous Ranger Halt of Araluen has been seen earnestly searching for from the decks of the Skandian ship Wolfwill on many a voyage. Many a Skandian wolfship has promised to keep a sharp lookout for the Ranger’s friend, amid puzzling bouts of laughter. Presumably, this unfortunate was swept overboard, and though it’s almost certain that he has drowned, Halt’s extended search would indicate that the Ranger has reason to believe he is still alive.

We spoke to Gundar Hardstriker, skirl of Wolfwill, who was seen to clutch his helmet tightly and look about to ensure the Ranger wasn’t on deck before responding. Here’s what he had to say about the search:

“We’ll keep looking, all right, and none harder than our Ranger friend. He spends hours huddled at the bow of the deck, calling Albert’s name over and over…. at least, that’s what I think he’s saying.”

We also spoke to Will, Halt’s former apprentice, who glared at our reporter. “Things are really going to go south if Halt gets wind of this,” he muttered darkly. When pressed as to his meaning, he glanced back apprehensively towards Halt’s cabin and refused to answer further questions.

Halt will not come out of his cabin and thus could not be reached for comment. According to Courier Alyss, he is suffering from a mysterious Gallican illness known as mal-de-mer. We don’t know what this means, but it certainly sounds scary, and we can only hope for his speedy recovery and reunion with his missing friend.

would I run off the world someday, nobody knows

Headcanon that during Scarlet, Cinder and Thorne have one of those cliche late night conversations 😂

Thorne: If we’re not married by 30, let’s marry each other! Cinder: I’d rather stab myself with an eggbeater. Thorne: I’m just saying, we’d make a great power couple. You’re smart, I’m charming— Cinder: You’re delusional. Thorne: Delusional and charming. [*Fast forward to Cinder's 30th birthday*] Thorne: Happy birthday, Cinder! Cinder: What is this? Thorne: An antique eggbeater. It felt appropriate. Cinder: I hate you. Thorne: You say that every time I get you something meaningful.

passing on ownership of this post to you because yeah he absolutely would loll

a series of incorrect quotes based on personal interactions:

tennyson: don’t listen to anything this man says. half of what comes out of his mouth is lies!

halt: no

halt: more than half, i’d say

duncan: when halt began teaching crowley hibernian, i was convinced the two of them would use it to talk about me behind my back

*muffled hibernian bickering in the background*

duncan: as it turns out, they mostly use it to antagonize each other without my interference

halt: do we have to go to this funeral? i don’t even know this man!

pauline: he’s dead, if that helps, so you aren’t likely to meet him!

halt: it doesn’t help

will’s fortune cookie: your persistance will soon pay off

will:

will: I WANT A DOG I WANT A DOG I WANT A DOG I WANT A DOG I

crowley: i don’t see how anyone can drink their coffee with honey. it’s disgraceful

halt, behind him, pouring a copious amount of honey into his coffee: oh, yes — truly unthinkable

crowley: *writes “project” on a chalkboard* alright you motley lot, what should we name this project?

berrigan: operation oakleaf

farell: project coffee-beans

halt: mission ‘see-that-morgarath-never-shows-his—sorry-backside-outside-of-gorlan-again’

crowley:

crowley: *underlines “project”* we’ll think on it

will: *carefully places the final card on top of his card tower and sits back proudly*

pre-character development horace: *turns on fan*

"i don't comment on ao3 because i don't wanna be annoying or weird" skill issue + you greatly underestimate the power dynamic here, writing multi paragraph comments is like feeding a bunch of deeply insane and possibly starved ducks at the park and watch them go completely mad over having received a piece of bread

and some sketches