This Is So Wrong, But I Love It

Why do parents feel the need to listen to Facebook videos on full volume, with no headphones in a room where other people can hear what they’re listening to...? I don’t wanna hear a list of facts about Reba McEntire. I don’t wanna know the recipe for the quiche you’re gonna try forcing me to help you make this weekend. I want you to use the four sets of headphones I’ve bought you over the past few years, specifically so you can listen to shit on your phone without disturbing anyone.

I am, how you might say...✨irritated✨

Good Lord! Commander Cullen with facial hair! Look at it! I can’t. I just can’t. Like uuuuuuuuggghhhhh!!!!

commander.

I’m gonna need all my DND people out here to think on this theory I just came up with after watching Venom last night and rewatching the Baldur’s Gate 3 trailer this evening...

As we all know, the Mind Flayers are inherently evil, xeno-centric space Nazis born of a hentai-watcher’s kinky nightmare. Fortunately, we’re not here to discuss that description I just burned into your brain.

What we will discuss however are their tadpoles. The small, sea-lamprey-like spawn of the Mind Flayers who implant themselves into a brain and feed off of it until they eventually take over the host body. Whatever. We been done knew that already.

BUT! What if it were possible to form a symbiotic relationship with the tadpole? As in let it continue to live behind your eye so long as the host eats brains to feed the tadpole’s hunger while in exchange maintaining use of the critter’s psyonic abilities? I mean, why not, other than the thought that the tadpole would never mature and kill you?

I mean, if that’s what comes out of a Mind Flayer after their aesexual reproductive cycles, then isn’t that the true state of Mind Flayers? What they were before I suppose the first tadpole came upon a host on whatever home world they hail from?

So, forgive me if I’m wrong, but what creature would refuse absolute protection, endless sustenance and very little effort on its behalf to the end of its days? That’s basically like keeping a cat that just lives in your head!

Has no one else ever contemplated this idea, or am I just alone on this one because I think Venom is funny?

~Zevran- love him to death, glad he's a friend. ~Anders- love him, too, but I'll be smacking him upside the head half the time...especially in Kirkwall

some people were complaining the original of this was too easy; so here’s a hard version for nerds and people who are good at wordsearches

all words are up and down, no diagonals, some backwards

knock yourselves out

*Veilguard Thought*

“Feather Brigade,”

Davrin, you big fucking nerd (affectionate)

A human woman in strange tattered armor sitting at the bar...with a bone plated, reptilian demon in blue armor...

*cries forever*

Provide your own context.

Hello, it's Christmas!

The day my mother expects us (her 20yr old range offspring) to wake up with the energy of when we were five!

Instead, we walk out of our collective rooms, cracking knees/ankles/wrists/fingers/toes/etc. And when we all give a collective "What?" at her dirty look, she chose to reply today with "You're all fucking crunchy, get younger!" before I walk out with a face mask on, my phone in one hand and a bag of jerky in the other to counter with "I identify as an 84 yr old man *cracks my neck like a clap of thunder from Thor himself* what do you mean?" directly before stuffing my mouth with beef jerky...

What a wonderful time of year...

She would always like to say, "Why change the past when you can own this day?" Today she will fight to keep her way. She's a rogue, and a thief, and she'll tempt your fate!

post-veilguard life rookanis idk how to caption this