Vlad And Lex Teaming Up To Try To Break Up The Fenton's Like The World's Shittiest Romcom

Damian writes a letter to Talia:

Dear Mother,

I am writing in the hopes that you can offer advice on how to avoid your mistakes. I'm afraid I seem to have inherited your taste in men.

His name is Danny, and I believe he is a meta, as when researching him I saw him break a steel beam with his bare hands, and reach through a closed fridge to grab a snack. Regardless of this power, and the restraint he must have in keeping it hidden, he is absolutely appalling at the basic chores of living as a human.

Mother, yesterday he asked me if you could put tinfoil in a microwave, because he heard that can be dangerous but "you can microwave cup noodles and the lid on them is basically tin foil" and I had to resist the urge to proclaim my love for him.

Todd refuses to put me out of my misery, and I am afraid if this continues I will be proposing marriage by year's end.

Please send help, your loyal son.

Damian being moronsexual and getting a crush on Danny Fenton against his will. Danny does something so fucking idiotic and he goes to Jason and says, “I have taken after my mother. Todd, as the only reasonable man in this family, it is now your duty to put me out of my misery.” And Jason’s all, “you had your chance the first time I shot you.”

Alfred deserves to be a magical girl

Halloween prompts no. 7

Danny, after the portals blew due to him doing something incredibly dangerous and stupid, landing him in the dc universe. More specifically, Gotham.

Tim might have jumped about a foot in the air when that bright light came crashing down into the alley next to him. He might be super smart and independent for his age, but he was still a very curious eight year old wandering Gotham alone at night. He crept into the alley to peek at the glowing boy groaning in the fresh crater. Tim was surprised by the boys age, he looked about the same age as himself if not a bit younger (he's a year younger) and Tim was amazed he was a hero, he didn't think they started that young.

After coming to, Phantom introduced himself to Tim and was very excited to meet and potentially befriend a human who wasn't afraid of him. Phantom convinces Tim to become vigilantes (though Tim insisted on masks) with him and learns that he can bestow some of his power to other people through jewelry. Cujo appears somewhere along the way and Jason gets added to the group after he saw them transform and wanted in.

Batman nearly has a stroke because he thinks he may have caused this by letting Dick be Robin and influencing the kids. When he asked if they were metas or aliens Phantom opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Tim's alias blurting out, "Magical girls!" Because he was terrified Batman might try to exorcize Phantom or something.

This leads to the hilarious scenario where batman is doing research on "magical girls" and wondering why none of the three are-if fact-girls.

This is an unholy fusion between super frilly magical girls and Power Rangers so have fun.

This is the only way to stretch out all of your silly little muscles that don't really move

i cant stand working in an office i need to stretch like this

Somebody had a lot of fun making this. Whatever it is

Someone has to have written this right? You can't just leave us like that

Danny is a sewer monster. He is a little snakey fella.

The Bats catch word of a creature in the sewers that not even Grundy or Killer Croc want to tussle with.

This is how Jason ends up treking through the sewers looking for whatever stole his favorite jacket. He stumbles across a nest(?) that has an odd glowing rock in the middle. He found his jacket though...wrapped around the rock.

Danny finds Red Hood in his nest, the guy isn't hurting Ellie so he seems all right.

Now the Bats are panicking because Jason's gone missing.

Jason is not complaining.

Bruce comes over and he brings Jason (he only agreed because Roy was going to be there) and Danny is like hooooo boy you are covered in ecto, what is with these billionaires and being ecto contaminated seriously, this is getting bizzare

Jason immediately falls in love with Danny's addicting ecto infused cooking, because his soul is starving, and now Roy's being ordered to bring food for the outlaws anytime they get together

Danny is pretty excited to make food for another not quite living person, because even though Oliver doesn't seem to notice, if too much ecto gets into the food it can change the taste, which non liminals don't tend to like

Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

People start to get annoyed at him and are like "what so you don't think boys can wear dresses!" And I imagine that in an attempt to not be a hater, while also keeping his secret identity, he says that Freddy's magical girl persona (no idea what it would be called) is way better than Billy and now he's accidentally in a fandom war with half of his school

He's also invited to Freddy's fanclub and honestly? He can get behind this

What if Billy developed one of those creepy basement dweller older male fanboy clubs

NO what if magical girl billy was super popular in his middle school and he was constantly trying to avoid conversations about it

Someone needs to write this

An idea I'm currently playing around:

Basically, what if the GIW changed management and instead of being hindrances to Phantom and Amity Park, they decided to help around. Instead of capturing Liminal People, they train them to control the extra abilities that started appearing. Out of everyone else, the most liminal was Danny's Class who apparently have a lot of secrets.

Now enter the Batman Fandom.

What if the Class became Danny's Court and they're rather well known in school as "The Class that always have a messy field trip", then their class managed to win the Martha Wayne Foundation despite making a mess of it. The Head of the Foundation visited, and secrets unraveled.

Like for example:

Star is apparently Star Al Ghul, Ra's Favorite Grandchild (and by extension, Ra's gained many grandchildren much to his delight and Talia's exasperation)

Paulina is a Luthor

Tucker being related to Commissioner Gordon

Sam being Poison Ivy's little sister (half-sister)

Gotham won't ever be the same once the class is finished with their trip

.

Bruce's teenage rebellion was doing drugs with Oliver queen, and becoming an assassin and he's mad that Damian is volunteering at a hospital? Tim and Damian are well within their rights to be mad at him

Damian: I’ve been volunteering at the hospital

Tim, who owns a medical company: …

Damian: father doesn’t approve of this because it cuts into my patrol time but I think it’s because I kept it from him

Tim, who likes to disobey Bruce: …

Damian: I fear I may have to make a choice of either continuing as Robin or pursuing my goals of becoming a Doctor

Tim, who dropped out of school: …

Tim: So, weird question, and I’m totally just brainstorming here, like just throwing this out there but like… you’re still a minor so what if I adopt you and pay for your schooling and maybe hack into a few schools so you can learn stuff ahead of time and eventually I could employ you at my company and maybe even build you your own hospital?

Tim: haha wouldn’t that be funny and totally piss Bruce off cause I’d be your dad

He a little confused but he's got the spirit