Latest Posts by r3v3rie - Page 7

i love car rides for the same reason i hate them; they give me the perfect space to finally think. today i’m wondering if 0.5/2 parents is really all that much better than 0/2.

atleast the 0 can’t disappoint you ig.

to my mother who won’t read this: honestly fuck you.

being aware that your behavior is shaped by childhood experiences is so cringe every time i notice it im like ooo look at her can't even get over what someone told him when she was 7. grow up

back to putting in the hard work, mapped some of my parts!

the most punk rock thing i do is wearing my rapist/physical-assaulter/abuser’s ring occasionally whenever things are bad.

it’s like a lil reminder that i will survive, and that’s p cool :)

ugh i’m bored, need a new fp to obsess over to keep shit interesting. 🙄

i literally haven’t been up this late in years. this is insane. i have read so much fanfiction it’s ridiculous. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP PLS !!!!

bpd is a bitch.

i forgot how fucking delulu i get over this specific person. i need to just be fucking shot.

i fear humans like a street dog. rejection after rejection, hurt after hurt, it all gets too much for my already crowded mind.

dez told me to try to put myself out there again in some way or another. and i have, i am trying. not very hard granted; i still am in this safe haven of social isolation and overworking myself in school.

but i have found someone that has proven that strangers can be kind, pure even, and is trying to steer my western brain back towards the light of the east again. he will never know the true weight of the words he writes with, and how i await responses with my tail thwapping against my bed. teeth smiling, not bared.

i hope you see this. you mean so much to me, thank you for not giving up on me. <3

MASTERLIST LINK

go here!

thank u all for reading what i write. i love u <3

god i just feel so fucking empty. i wish i could just like actually be able to make friends so i don’t have to be alone all the time?? but making friends as an adult is stupidly hard.

tbh i should just go back to being a fanfic writer, i had so many online friends back then it was crazy lol

holding back tears in the parking lot of the community college because my mom called to tell me that my sister told college recruiters i was her hero.

taking the years of abuse for her wasn’t for nothing :’)

Had a session about why closure is hard today, both because of him and because of me. Wrote another goodbye letter. I can't bring myself to post most of it but here was the ending. A proof of existence if you will.

this study has me all sorts of fucked up. i feel super shitty for a lot of my behavior and my just entire being right now. i’ve always been told since i was younger that i was this unfeeling manipulative monster, what if it’s true? what if all the doctors are lying or just don’t know enough to tell me that i’m horrible? how i endanger people, act shitty, am just wholly the demon my father said i was?

how do you cope? how do you just move on from that self reflection that you possibly aren’t the way close people say you are? how do i know what is real? who to trust?

i need to talk to dez but i don’t even know what i would say-

i say this shit and literally a day later am doing not very well at all. god i hate the constant shifts and mood swings

it’s 5am and i’m listening to the birds chirping, i hear my breath, and the soft indie music that always is coming from my phone. i note that there is pink in the sunrise this morning and that i do not dread the day ahead of me like i have for my entire life.

the work is noticeable sometimes, proper therapy and medication pays off.

it’s 5am and i’m listening to the birds chirping, i hear my breath, and the soft indie music that always is coming from my phone. i note that there is pink in the sunrise this morning and that i do not dread the day ahead of me like i have for my entire life.

the work is noticeable sometimes, proper therapy and medication pays off.

scene queen sounds sm better at 100+ mph <3

5.30.23 - Profit off the Psychiatry. (excerpt)

My parents don't like the smell of the incense i burn. Its religious. They complain about it behind my back, like they do me.

for her:

cosmic love - florence + the machine

<3

having a personality disorder is so ridiculous. like girl the abandonment hasn’t happened just yet, CHILL OUT !!!

TW for SA and R*pe

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

oh and when florence welch said: „is this how it is? is this how it's always been? to exist in the face of suffering and death and somehow still keep singing“

“The greatest loss is the kind that you never had in the first place. I am reeling from the missing out on something that was never mine to begin with. This tragedy cuts me deep.”

— remnant-thoughts

it’s been two already, i wish i could hate him. i wish i could cry or do anything other than thwart the urges to find him and beg for him back in my life. he was bad to me, for so long. why can’t i hate him?

“‘She loves me like a dog’ but not in the soft, blindly loyal puppy way. She loves like a stray, mangy and flea ridden, hiding in the back of an alleyway or under the porch of the abandoned house next door.

She loves violently and ferally and wildly protective because she knows how it feels to be alone during the winter and she can’t go back to that, she can’t.

She loves with teeth and claws because those are the only body parts that have ever saved her, and she mistakes every hug for a chokehold.

She loves in a way that looks an awful lot like violence and feels an awful lot like desperation.”

-some random guy on my tiktok fyp at 3pm on a sunday

do all dogs really go to heaven?