You Gain Points If You Send “I Know You’re Asleep But…” Texts. They’re My Fav.

When I was 15, studying about how millions of sperm were released but only one could fertilize the egg, my teacher told us that we were winners in the race of life.

I felt pretty special back then. Not anymore though!

I just didn't realise there were billions of winners on earth. My teacher missed that point out on purpose.

notes to self *new information edition*

🌼 Human life is filled with its little miseries. The little irritations of human life. I don't know the exact translation, but Van Gogh, in his letters to his brother, kept saying 'misères de la vie humain'. And he said it as such a factual thing. Like 'oh, that's just the little miseries of our human life. What are yours lately?'

It left me so stunned. That sort of acceptance? It's golden. Currently my misères de la vie humain are job hunting and not thinking about how the world is increasingly becoming dystopic.

🌼 This desire for slow, mindful living, the rejection of a fast-paced hustle culture driven life where we glorify being burned out and busy all the time - it's not stupid. Read this passage by the writer Jeff Brown where he speaks about when we are not centered, it's easy to be manipulated and targeted by others including capitalism. To force yourself to align your goals with those of others. Because you don't know your authentic self. You don't know what you want.

But you have to focus on noticing everything - from your breath, to your body, to your inner self. And you have to centre yourself. He says it may be counter intuitive but actually the slower you move, the faster you will return home. And that just validated what I've known and felt all along.

🌼 Saw this reel on Instagram that revealed the best advice for overthinkers. It said, when you're overthinking: write. When you're underthinking: read. When you're confused: do both.

How has something so simple yet profound not found its way to me before? I hated the word overthinker because as a teenager everyone used that against me. But then one day this random girl from my class said it's not that you overthink, it's just that your standard level of thinking is already so high from the others that to them it's beyond their normal processing capacity. I wish she is doing well right now.

🌼 Hearing some hypocritical people talk about boundaries in their distorted victim blaming narrative, I realized that bro you need to communicate a boundary when you want to set it. Like if you've known someone for 10 years and suddenly you want to change something about your relationship and you decide to set a boundary that demands that change - then you can't just set it in your mind and not communicate it to the other person. And you certainly cannot get mad when they cross a boundary they didn't even know exists now suddenly.

People are increasingly misusing popular narratives surrounding mental health and well being to justify their shitty behaviour. And it's just fucked up.

🌼 To end on a lighter note, I just learned tonight how to say 'my hobby is reading' in Korean and it makes me very happy. I can finally understand sentence formation and structure better and am confident to carry on.

List of products and little tips that have made my skin (and my life) better🌸

(this turned out to be way longer than expected)

*the links show the brands i use but there are cheaper options you can find that work just as well

• tone with thayers witch hazel (rose petal)

• mix one part indian clay (bentonite clay) with two parts apple cider vinegar for the best face mask ever (your face will get a little reddish, but itll go away within 10-15 mins)

• always wear sunblock if you’re going out (even if its a rainy day)

• NEVER use products containing alcohol in your face

• rosehip oil and jojoba oil are really good for fading acne scars and getting rid of acne (they are cheaper dupes for ML miracle serum and Bahi cosmetics sunflower serum which are holy grail // if you do have the money to buy them, do so. but i prefer rosehip and jojoba which you can get at marshalls for like $6 each)

• at night, moisturize face and body with organic shea butter (i dont recommend using it for your face during daytime bc it’ll look too oily, but you do you)

• ^shea butter helps with the appearance of stretch marks (tbh i love my stretch marks, but if you want to fade them a little, mix a little bit of rosehip oil and shea and that should do the trick)

• stop consuming dairy products (once i did, my face cleared up completely.. diet/eating healthy has a huge impact on skin appearance)

• horsetail tea makes your hair look better

• i usually drink unsweetened tea two times a day. almost every tea helps with digestion in my opinion but matcha green tea is the best for digestion and weight loss. (my favorite is hibiscus tea but it has a unique taste so its not for everyone)

• if youre having trouble relaxing or sleeping, drink chamomile tea (again, i rarely add sugar or honey to my teas, but its an adquired taste)

• usually i dont eat before going to bed (at least 2 hours before)

• drink water (everybody says to drink water, but trust me, its the best tip)

• detox water is a god send if you dont like drinking plain water

• exercise 3-4 days a week at least (if you can’t/don’t want to do hardcore exercises just take a walk around the park. just dont be sedentary)

• i am not a breakfast person, so i usually make dairy free shakes (if you want the recipes comment or send me an ask)

• invest in a juicer and make your own natural juices (stop buying those pausterized shit juices that barely keep their nutrients / natural juices help with digestion)

• s t o p eating fast foods. just don’t.

• i exfoliate once a week, usually sundays, with a sugar/salt/coffee scrub depending on what my skin needs. the rest of the week i use a konjac sponge to cleanse my face

• try to change your deodorant to an aluminum free one (the one i used was discountinued.. when i find a good one ill link it here)

• buy a sleeping mask (idk why but i sleep better when i use it + i dont get eyebags)

• for hair mask i use olive oil or avocado oil (i rarely use it more than once every three weeks)

• dry feet? (at night, coat them with shea butter and put socks on) (i literally hate how disgusting it feels but its so worth it in the mornings)

• for hair growth people usually recommend biotin but for some reason everytime i take biotin pills i get really bad acne so id rather use castor oil on my scalp and eyebrows (many say to put it on your eyelashes and it probably works but i dont use it bc i dont want it to be that close to my eyeball but thats just me)

• always exfoliate before shaving your legs (i make my own scrub, again if you want the recipe just ask)

• i stopped drinking coffee (im not sure wether it had an impact on my skin, but i had a strong dependence and addiction to it so i just stopped)

• dont drink sodas or coke or sprite or whatever. stick to water and organic/natural juices.

• sometimes when i wash my hair, i add a serum before brushing it, and add perfume to my hairbrush before detangling. (i love doing this but my hair gets dry whenever i do. so i always do the serum but alternate the perfume thing)

• for the love of god. scrub your lips if you have them chapped and are going to use a matte lipstick. chapped lips + matte lipstick = repulsiveness at its finest

• i stay away from heating products. i rarely iron my hair more than two times a year. embrace your natural hair. or don’t. (its up to you, but if you do, do it bc YOU want to, not bc you think its what others will like)

• i always put on mascara. even if i dont use any more makeup. im a sucker for long eyelashes. (i use the lengthening mascara from 100% pure. i love love love it.)

• i always shower with hot water but i recently read that if you feel light headed after, its bc your blood pressure dropped. (idk i need to research, but showering with hot water relaxes the fuck out of me)

• sleep at least 8 hours

• i mentioned exercising before, but if you can, do so in the morning (i feel way more energized through out the day)

• eating healthier has helped with my menstrual cramps. honest to god, just eat cleaner, exercise and masturbate while on your period. (these are the only things that make me feel better on those days of the month)

• take nudes whenever youre feeling yourself. even if theyre just for you. (always boosts my self esteem)

• tea tree oil as a spot treatment (if you have sensitive skin dont use it)

•^ if you have smelly feet, combine tea tree oil with shea butter and coat your feet at night

• have a “me” day (have a diy spa, go out shopping, reread your favorite book, go to the beach… do something that makes you happy and relaxed at least twice a week)

• i always do a wall sit while i brush my teeth

• always floss. please.

• for teeth whitening i use baking soda but it makes my gums very sensitive (charcoal and the coconut oil pulling method didnt work for me, but everyones different so give it a try)

• throw out your scale

• you don’t have to keep your nails painted 24/7 but atleast keep them trimmed so that they look even and clean

• i have a boob routine and a butt routine (comment or ask if you want a separate post on them)

• eat a lot of fruit

• cut out toxic people (this ones for your emotional health. your emotional health is just as important as your physical one)

• have a pussy pouch (my pussy pouch is a bag with all my essentials for when im on my period, agaain if you want a separate post, let me know)

• if you have really bad acne, chance your pillow case every 2-3 days

• love yourself

~~~

let me know if y’all want a part 2 💗

I like sleep.

So if I ever skip sleep for you, that just shows I love you so much.

Other than that, dont flatter yourself.

Please.

Things I want to learn

Recently, I realised there are so many things I want to research and learn, I had to write it all down. I wanted to share these with you today!:

📚 Thing to research:

politics

nutrition

investing

dog care/animal care in general

zero waste living

veganism

intuitive eating

solo travel

music and rhythm

herbology

map reading

fashion

home design

etiquette

bitcoin

taxes

🔨 Skills to try, learn or practice:

cooking

german

spanish

dancing

baking

gardening¨

digital art

photography

art (traditional methods)

yoga

programming

sewing

writing

mushroom picking

public speaking

makeup

photoshop

embroydery

czech sign language

laundry

hair styling

splits

blogging

Feel free to take inspiration and if you have more ideas please share them with me!

A time to weep & a time to laugh.

A time to get & a time to lose.

A time to break down & a time to build up.

A time to keep & a time to cast away.

A time to love & a time to hate.

A time of war & a time of peace.

🍂🌻🍁🌼☀️🍂🌻🍁🌼☀️🍂🌻🍁🌼☀️🍂

DON’T DESPISE THE SEASON YOU ARE IN!

The 'No Excuses' Study System to Get That A

I  School Days 

1. Show up to class a little early. It’ll give you time to set up, read over some old notes, put your water bottle/thermos on your desk, fill out your planner if you couldn’t in the previous period(s), check your planner to see if you have something on that day etc.

2. Sit in the front or second row. I’m serious, you will definitely benefit. Write detailed class notes. Pick whatever system works for you. I usually write my titles in red pen, notes in black pen, underline points that are repeated/emphasised, highlight keywords at home

3. If you have time at school, do as much homework as you can. If you know you have commitments that day, please for the love of your education do your homework at lunch. I know you might feel awkward, but your friends will understand. 

4. When you get home, first list down all the homework received that day on a q card (cross off as you go). Then write the same tasks in your bullet journal, but as a daily spread. Use stayfocusd or self control for mac + leave phone in a different room. FINISH ALL OF YOUR HOMEWORK. If for some reason you couldn’t complete a homework task, write it on a sticky note and place it on your wall. After homework is done, write your revision notes (flashcard the info as well). Place the notes in your accordion folder/binder. If you have some loose sheets at any point, place them in a ‘To Be Filed’ box. Sort that out when you’re packing your bag for the next day.

5. Go through the flashcards made that day and the flashcards made on the previous days.  List out all assignments/assessments on another q card with their due dates. This will come in handy later.

6. Pack your bag the night before. Remember your accordion folder + make sure your ‘To Be Filed’ box is empty. Put water bottle in the fridge and make meals for the next day.

7. The next day, wake up early, complete any unfinished homework, go through flashcards again, read through revision notes, make lunch for the day, put laptop in bag, put food + water in bag, exercise (esp if you have commitments after school), shower, change, blah blah blah. Only do this if your schedule is packed, and in my case, this is a must.

II  Weekends

1. On Friday nights, first off, do homework. You will thank yourself for it. Whip out that list of assessments/assignments and allocate half days to knock off at least two of these little assholes. Work ahead, you will feel much better.

2. Do your readings. For English, knock off some wider reading novels, for HSIE, knock off some textbook unit readings (two units ahead), for science, knock off some more textbook readings. Write summaries of each page. Type these summaries. Print these summaries. Place in accordion folder/binder. Flashcard the info. Spend like half a day doing this lmao.

3. Spend 1-2 hours going through the flashcards you made that week for each subject. This counts as studying my friend. 

III Weekends When You Actually Have Assessments 

1. Due to your working ahead, homework completion and readings, you shouldn’t be panicking too much. Get those revision notes and slot in the textbook readings notes. Highlight, annotate, read aloud, go through flashcards and get someone to test you on the content. Make sure you know all terms, formulae, key concepts, vocabulary etc etc

2. As for assignments, again due to your working ahead just print them out and heavily edit those little asshats. Then type the edits into the doc. Repeat this process four times. Then get someone to read it. Make sure all your assignments are on your USB + email them to yourself because you never fucking know tbh. 

3. You’ll probs have to sacrifice your reading time but that’s chill because the teacher/prof will probably be focusing on prepping you for the actual assessment + you gotta do what you gotta do.

SUMMARY

Seriously, just do your homework the day you receive it, write revision notes, do your readings, write notes on those readings, make flashcards, knock out assignments as soon as you know they actually exist, read every wider reading novel (analyse these novels), read your required readings (analyse this too), go over flashcards every morning/afternoon, make use of spare time in class, do homework at lunch if needed, stick to your schedule, buy coffee/hot chocolate in the mornings and put it in a thermos, keep a necessities pouch in your bag, keep your P.E shoes in your locker, use a planner, track your spending, wash your hair, brush your hair, go to commitments, attend school events, attend events you’re invited to, go shopping, watch movies, be kind to yourself, take bubble baths, light candles, listen to music, SLEEP, get that A and most importantly be proud of yourself. 

Do you have tips to becoming more lady like/classy ?

(Keep in mind that this is simply from my own perspective and everyone’s definition of what is considered “classy” and “ladylike” varies.)

1. No drama! Classy women do not participate in drama or messy behavior of any kind. Of course, this doesn’t apply to serious matters like being threatened or assaulted or any kind of situation where your safety is at risk. Pick your battles wisely. Sometimes it is more than okay to say “You know what? I’m too grown for this.” Or “I’m too classy for this.” The last thing you want is your name attached to some mess that you could’ve simply chosen to ignore and not participate in. This goes for gossip as well. There are some celebrities who never have anything to say about anyone. Even when they’re asked outright, they’re smart about avoiding the question. What’s the point?

2. Discretion, discretion, discretion. When I think of women in the media who I consider to be classy and ladylike, they have several things in common, but the main one is that they’re discreet. They’re very careful about what they say, how they say it, and how they move in the public eye. Yes, I might consider them to be very ladylike individuals, but in truth, I really know nothing about them. The generic information like education and background and such might be out there for me to see, but when it comes to their personal life and ideals and opinions, I know next to nothing. And that’s how it should be! The whole world does not need to know your business or what you think of every insignificant thing that’s popular at the moment.

3. Time and place! Some people will tell you that classy women don’t listen to rap or rock or whatever other music they’ve deemed off limits to ladylike individuals, but I disagree. I think the true definition of class is knowing there is a time and place for everything. This goes for any kind of media you consume or any kind of way you choose to enjoy yourself. There’s no law on class that says you shouldn’t let loose and have fun, because you certainly can! As long as it’s understood that certain behaviors are not for certain spaces.

4. Manners! I cannot stress this enough, but manners will take you far. Make “please” and “thank you” a regular part of your vocabulary. Offer condolences to people you know who need it. Send thank you cards to people who have been a great help to you. Check on those close to you here and there. Be polite and show that you are a thankful individual.

5. This is sort of an extension of part 4, but be mindful of the things you say. Do not be the kind of person who only says things out of anger that you know you will regret hours later. Be respectful to those you love even if you’re mad at them (obviously this doesn’t apply to truly toxic and abusive situations but more so petty arguments that, in the grand scheme of things, really do not matter all that much). Even in more tame discussions, you don’t always have to say what’s on your mind. If it isn’t going to help someone, then ask yourself why you feel the need to say it? Furthermore, if there is something you feel needs to be said, there’s a way to be honest without being rude. Now yes, in some situations, you can’t spare someone else’s feelings. This is the truth, but there’s a way to stand your ground and get your point across without being malicious and ugly about it.

6. Carry yourself well. You’re poised and always put together and you’re articulate in how you express your thoughts. Please keep in mind that I do not mean you speak perfect and fluent English or anything like that. In my eyes, someone with broken English who knows more than one language will always be above a native English speaker who only knows English (sorry not sorry). You take the time to think about what you’re going to say before you say it so that you are heard and understood. You walk with confidence and hold your head high. You have wonderful etiquette.

7. Cut back on vulgarity. It’s going to ruffle some feathers, but I don’t consider constant swearing to be ladylike. I myself have stopped swearing as much as I used to. I really only swear in the privacy of my own home and it’s here and there (usually when I mess something up or hurt myself 😭). Let my coworkers tell it, I never swear, and the thought of me cursing doesn’t even sound right to them. Out in public, there’s also a way to say certain things. If I’m at a company dinner or something, I’m not going to tell everyone I need to go pee or do number 2 🤢 I’m going to politely say I need to excuse myself or as my aunt likes to say “I need to use the ladies room”. In addition, if you can’t get your point across without yelling, then you need to re-evaluate that. Again, this does not apply to truly toxic and abusive situations, but simple discussions and disagreements. You should be able to convey what you’re trying to say in a calm and respectful manner.

8. You mind your business! I do not mean in the selfish way of being unconcerned with the hardships your loved ones are facing, but I mean out and about. You’re not judging some random woman on what she’s wearing or some man on how he’s eating. You’re focused on yourself. If you’ve ever seen Gilmore Girls, there’s an episode in the first season when Dean first approaches Rory, and he tells her that he absolutely had to get to know her because he saw her reading a book one day, and all the while, there was a commotion with a fight and an ambulance and this whole big thing that captured everyone’s attention, but the entire time, she did not look up from that book even once. Now I’m not saying you have to be that extreme, because if there’s a fire or something serious, you need to know so you can skedaddle. But don’t always concern yourself with what everyone else is doing or how they’re behaving. Focus on your food, focus on your book, focus on your podcast. Just focus on you!