writetastic

Latest Posts by writetastic

Red Cantonese bear dog

(via)

The problem is a lot of people are scared to fail. They opt for not doing anything at all so their ego doesn’t get hurt. If you can’t risk failing you’ll never win. How can you commit to anything & succeed if you can’t even commit to yourself & conquer your feelings.

“Don’t you dare fucking touch my heart unless you plan to stay.”

— Unknown

ppl always ask me “"what are you going to do with your degree”“ and ”“if you wanna get a PHD how do you plan on paying for it”“ and ”“where are you gonna move after college”“ but here is the thing:

i am very powerful and cute and im gonna float through this world one day at a time. please leave me alone. 

Me every single night:

The sound of heavy rain while you are in bed.

I thought I was in the mood to be productive, but it turns out I just wanted to listen to music while looking at my calendar

he’s not checking up on you…. go exfoliate and read a book

What if, and hear me out, people DO love you

Your coworker who loves when they get to work a shift with you, even if you don’t talk

Your cousin who’s relieved when they see you at family gatherings, who thinks you’re “the cool cousin” but hasn’t said anything out loud

Your classmate who thinks you have great taste, even if they’re too shy to speak up about it in class

Your childhood friends who remember you fondly

The waiter you tipped during a busy night

That person you complimented on the street

The little kid you waved to

The old woman you made small talk with

People love you, because you’re lovable. And you’re worthy of love. Even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes

(Self depreciating comments will be removed at best, bluntly and remorselessly told to shut the fuck up at worst. Fuck around. I dare you.)

i hated - hated - my 7th grade english teacher, but he did say something that has stuck with me this whole time: the actual mark of maturity in someone is whether they take responsibility.

over time, this has become something i find to apply to too-many things. this weighty, complicated thing - responsible. almost direct from the latin respondere - the verb for "to answer to".

taking responsibility is not just "being in control of". it also means being gentle. being able to apologize. being able to accept fault. to notice your own actions and change them to be better. it is not just saying "ah fuck i dropped the plate," it is saying "okay, i'll go get the broom."

at 16, when her parents tell her i put a roof over your head, she spends that night curled in my lap, sobbing, trying to articulate something too-heavy-for-words - that they think responsibility is just about obligation; that she is bound to them because they are responsible for her. that she feels, over and over, responsible for their emotions. that she spends hours cartwheeling over eggshells, feeling the drip of their expectations slowly sushing down her body.

according to my mom, responsibility and privilege are partners. this is probably true. a car (privilege) is a weapon if used (responsibility) incorrectly. my dog is my responsibility, and he brings me the privilege of hours spent in sunshine. there are, though, a lot of times people are given one without the other - the privilege, and no responsibility for their actions. the responsibility, and nothing but hours of obligation, over-and-over. i have also learned: there is a difference between fault and responsibility. this will be important for you at some point, if you are watching.

at 21, when i am begging him again to just listen, i am asking him to take responsibility for the span of our relationship. for the ways he has shoved thorns into every part of my body. i come across as needy, because it is my job to be responsible for the relationship - somehow, he has escaped that. it is always my job to ask for help. to beg for him to just put in any-ounce-of-more.

how easily responsibility becomes assumed. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to take care of dinner. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to get groceries, to clean the house, to mealplan, to do laundry. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to wear smart clothing. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to blend in with the rest of society.

at 25, it is happening again. this is a different man in a different city, and the responsibility is one that is demanded of me. he tells me he will skip off the world and into the darkness if i break his heart, no matter how much he breaks mine. i am back to begging - get help, get better, i cannot lift you if you do not try to stand with me. i am also responsible for myself - and then, suddenly, responsible for the entire life of somebody. i remember sitting there asking him - when will it be your turn to do the carrying? and the way he wrinkled his nose at me. i would laugh-cry: i feel like i'm your mother and he would start gagging. nothing would change. still running after him, making sure he washed his clothes and took care of himself and made those appointments and did anything. my own health was suffering.

a lot of discussion about consequence is really a discussion of responsibility. i am an internet poet. i made a little hellsite my unfortunately-unpaid home. i believe, in my heart of hearts - make what you want, but be responsible for it. whenever we make things, we are bound to them, end of story. this is a real-life thing. watch who in your life hates having responsibility. watch the way they expect other people to have responsibility. this sense they have: that responsibility is punishment, is unfair to unload on them. that someone else should do the carrying.

i am 26 at the start of 2020. we all know what happens then. the average person is asked to take responsibility. for many, this is second-nature. simple. occasionally annoying, but eventually habitual. for many others, though, this is their great and honest reckoning. they misunderstand civil liberty to mean - a land where everything, always, is just-about-me. on a personal level, when i am not absolutely livid about this population, i am sort-of sad for them. one of the good things about responsibility is that it builds community. each of these people, one at a time, has been making the same statement: i am alone in this world. i am blisteringly, horribly lonely.

i have noticed, over time - the way that responsibility is borne. how careful i have to be as a queer cuban writer. how careful some asshole on twitter is-not-careful-at-all. knowing that if i am too-loud. abrasive, unflattering: i could make my whole community responsible for my behavior. that people would read my work and say - see! this is why there aren't that many of these types of writers. that others can make bigger, bolder mistakes - but it will just be their mistake to make; their-singular-responsibility. that what i am "careful" about is making my posts well-researched, thought-out, accessible, funny. that what others are rabidly angry about being careful about - that they would suddenly become responsible for bigotry. this horrible sense: you have no idea what it means to be forced to bear this weight, and you find it terrifying.

i have been responsible for a long time. laughing, i tell my therapist eldest daughter, middle child syndrome. i was a latchkey kid. i was the first one home and had to be sure i got the fire lit or there wasn't heat. written like that, it sounds like something from charles dickens: alone, shivering in a house that isn't home, feeding tinder to the back of the wood stove. i have been a delight to have in class. i was always charmingly responsible. i have had-to-be. there was no other option.

burnout is high, i'm told. over and over, the media paints people like me as being responsible for how we are treated. they will say it's not your fault, but we all know they think it is my responsibility. people are violent to me; it is my responsibility to be a more properly-trained minority. my boss is cruel; it's my responsibility to find a new job or just go hungry. it is not the responsibility of others to help me figure out my medical debt, i should try asking more questions at the pharmacy. it is not the responsibility of public schools to help students get an education - it is the responsibility of 17-year-olds to sign into a lifetime of debt. it is not the responsibility of the government to protect my right to choose; it's my responsibility to simply not get into any situation that might require me having an opinion. it's satisfying to watch the general, quiet strike of minimum-wage workers: the way others, confused, are demanding the same question - why aren't other people taking responsibility for the things i don't want to do myself?

the other day, i saw a post from someone who hurt me. it was sort of embarrassingly on-the-nose. he's kissing someone new now (god protect her). under the two of them smiling, the caption reads: thank you to this responsible, beautiful queen for constantly taking care of me.

now be honest. answer the following. fill in the blanks. bring your truth to your throat and keep her. 1. in general, it is normal for a [ ] to have more responsibility than a [ ]. 2. you are responsible for [ ]. 3. when you tell [ ] to take responsibility, they will say [ ]. 4. in your life, it is normal for [ ] to take responsibility. 5. when did that start? 6. and how is it going?

when is it my turn to get the feminine urge to study for three hours straight

“Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship. I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone. But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever - and yet the friendship is the one people ignore. I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets - they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing - not even a date - out of you? It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning. The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together. Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.”

— Single serving size // r.i.d

intangible - madisen kuhn

“In my friend, I find a second self.”

c.s. lewis / my best friend by the coral / alivia horsley / @billypotts / hanya yanagihara / ‘after party ll’ salman toor / the kids aren’t alright by fall out boy / a summer’s tale / lorde / hanya yanagihara / abed and troy (community) with a winnie the pooh quote @weelezzer / isabel norton

Your daily reminder to pull-your-shit-together. Remove the distractions. Delete the apps. Use flight mode. This is your one life. All those people you see making moves, do you think they’re sat there wasting their morning scrolling when they have shit to do? No, they’re up, working out, meditating, writing, reading, doing whatever the fuck they need to do to get them to where they want to be. Stop holding yourself back, you have so much potential, you’re literally the cause and the cure. Do you want you to do well? Live the life of your dreams? Well babygirl it’s not gonna happen unless you break out of these unproductive habits. You need to get into momentum, you need to have a plan and stick to it. You need to channel your energy into moving forward. You can do this, let’s go! 

List of products and little tips that have made my skin (and my life) better🌸

(this turned out to be way longer than expected)

*the links show the brands i use but there are cheaper options you can find that work just as well

• tone with thayers witch hazel (rose petal)

• mix one part indian clay (bentonite clay) with two parts apple cider vinegar for the best face mask ever (your face will get a little reddish, but itll go away within 10-15 mins)

• always wear sunblock if you’re going out (even if its a rainy day)

• NEVER use products containing alcohol in your face

• rosehip oil and jojoba oil are really good for fading acne scars and getting rid of acne (they are cheaper dupes for ML miracle serum and Bahi cosmetics sunflower serum which are holy grail // if you do have the money to buy them, do so. but i prefer rosehip and jojoba which you can get at marshalls for like $6 each)

• at night, moisturize face and body with organic shea butter (i dont recommend using it for your face during daytime bc it’ll look too oily, but you do you)

• ^shea butter helps with the appearance of stretch marks (tbh i love my stretch marks, but if you want to fade them a little, mix a little bit of rosehip oil and shea and that should do the trick)

• stop consuming dairy products (once i did, my face cleared up completely.. diet/eating healthy has a huge impact on skin appearance)

• horsetail tea makes your hair look better

• i usually drink unsweetened tea two times a day. almost every tea helps with digestion in my opinion but matcha green tea is the best for digestion and weight loss. (my favorite is hibiscus tea but it has a unique taste so its not for everyone)

• if youre having trouble relaxing or sleeping, drink chamomile tea (again, i rarely add sugar or honey to my teas, but its an adquired taste)

• usually i dont eat before going to bed (at least 2 hours before)

• drink water (everybody says to drink water, but trust me, its the best tip)

• detox water is a god send if you dont like drinking plain water

• exercise 3-4 days a week at least (if you can’t/don’t want to do hardcore exercises just take a walk around the park. just dont be sedentary)

• i am not a breakfast person, so i usually make dairy free shakes (if you want the recipes comment or send me an ask)

• invest in a juicer and make your own natural juices (stop buying those pausterized shit juices that barely keep their nutrients / natural juices help with digestion)

• s t o p eating fast foods. just don’t.

• i exfoliate once a week, usually sundays, with a sugar/salt/coffee scrub depending on what my skin needs. the rest of the week i use a konjac sponge to cleanse my face

• try to change your deodorant to an aluminum free one (the one i used was discountinued.. when i find a good one ill link it here)

• buy a sleeping mask (idk why but i sleep better when i use it + i dont get eyebags)

• for hair mask i use olive oil or avocado oil (i rarely use it more than once every three weeks)

• dry feet? (at night, coat them with shea butter and put socks on) (i literally hate how disgusting it feels but its so worth it in the mornings)

• for hair growth people usually recommend biotin but for some reason everytime i take biotin pills i get really bad acne so id rather use castor oil on my scalp and eyebrows (many say to put it on your eyelashes and it probably works but i dont use it bc i dont want it to be that close to my eyeball but thats just me)

• always exfoliate before shaving your legs (i make my own scrub, again if you want the recipe just ask)

• i stopped drinking coffee (im not sure wether it had an impact on my skin, but i had a strong dependence and addiction to it so i just stopped)

• dont drink sodas or coke or sprite or whatever. stick to water and organic/natural juices.

• sometimes when i wash my hair, i add a serum before brushing it, and add perfume to my hairbrush before detangling. (i love doing this but my hair gets dry whenever i do. so i always do the serum but alternate the perfume thing)

• for the love of god. scrub your lips if you have them chapped and are going to use a matte lipstick. chapped lips + matte lipstick = repulsiveness at its finest

• i stay away from heating products. i rarely iron my hair more than two times a year. embrace your natural hair. or don’t. (its up to you, but if you do, do it bc YOU want to, not bc you think its what others will like)

• i always put on mascara. even if i dont use any more makeup. im a sucker for long eyelashes. (i use the lengthening mascara from 100% pure. i love love love it.)

• i always shower with hot water but i recently read that if you feel light headed after, its bc your blood pressure dropped. (idk i need to research, but showering with hot water relaxes the fuck out of me)

• sleep at least 8 hours

• i mentioned exercising before, but if you can, do so in the morning (i feel way more energized through out the day)

• eating healthier has helped with my menstrual cramps. honest to god, just eat cleaner, exercise and masturbate while on your period. (these are the only things that make me feel better on those days of the month)

• take nudes whenever youre feeling yourself. even if theyre just for you. (always boosts my self esteem)

• tea tree oil as a spot treatment (if you have sensitive skin dont use it)

•^ if you have smelly feet, combine tea tree oil with shea butter and coat your feet at night

• have a “me” day (have a diy spa, go out shopping, reread your favorite book, go to the beach… do something that makes you happy and relaxed at least twice a week)

• i always do a wall sit while i brush my teeth

• always floss. please.

• for teeth whitening i use baking soda but it makes my gums very sensitive (charcoal and the coconut oil pulling method didnt work for me, but everyones different so give it a try)

• throw out your scale

• you don’t have to keep your nails painted 24/7 but atleast keep them trimmed so that they look even and clean

• i have a boob routine and a butt routine (comment or ask if you want a separate post on them)

• eat a lot of fruit

• cut out toxic people (this ones for your emotional health. your emotional health is just as important as your physical one)

• have a pussy pouch (my pussy pouch is a bag with all my essentials for when im on my period, agaain if you want a separate post, let me know)

• if you have really bad acne, chance your pillow case every 2-3 days

• love yourself

~~~

let me know if y’all want a part 2 💗

List of products and little tips that have made my skin (and my life) better pt. 2🌸

once again, this turned out way longer than expected, but this particular post doesn’t have as many product recommendations as pt. 1. this is more focused on tips that, i feel, make me a better version of myself

*the links show the brands i use but there are cheaper options you can find that work just as well

• shower at least two times a day.

• after showering at night use a pumice stone to remove dead skin from your feet then coat your feet with shea butter and put on socks overnight.

• have a diy manicure weekly. even if you dont paint your nails, make sure theyre clean and trimmed (or get your nails done professionally, whatever floats your boat.

• floss.

• y’all know im a natural ho when it comes to things i put in or on my body. ive always struggled with my teeth. they were yellow asf and i didn’t like it (if you dont care if your teeth are yellow and love them that way, kudos for you, i am not). i tried turmeric, oil pulling method, banana peels, strawberries, charcoal, baking soda… basically everything and it didnt work (these may work for some but they didn’t for me) so i bought crest strips and bitch. for $22 i have the whitest teeth ive ever had. it may not work for everyone but it did for me(ik that some dentists and orthodontists offer whitening services but my mom had it done and she has had sensitive gums ever since so due it at your own discretion).

• for fucks sake. clean. your. damn. ears. theres this beautiful invention called Q-Tips. use them.

• NEVER look at the floor while walking. look straight forward. if you make eye contact with a stranger, smile. this shows confidence and tbh i hate it when people, specially attractive girls, give you a nasty look. just smile. youll look good and possibly even male someones day.

• again, eye contact is hot. make eye contact. always.

• be polite and friendly. when entering a place say “good morning”, when leaving say “have a nice/good afternoon/evening”.

• your back should always be straight. posture is attractive.

• wake up early. (i usually wake up at six, go to the gym and in my opinion its the best way to start your day. ik its not for everyone but if you can, do so).

• do not. DO. NOT. drink sodas. its bad for you. plain and simple. drink water.

• try to get in 8 hours at the gym weekly. you dont have to go the 7 days but if you to two hours a day and have rests days in between youll be good. (before someone starts talking shit, im not saying to do two hours of cardio. nope. you do you. you can do 30 minutes of cardio and do weights or mat exercises for the remaining time. i usually do 1 hour of cardio and 1 hour of whatever i feel like doing (legs, arms, abs… sometimes i’ll combine them))

• i developed the bad habit of weighing myself everyday and im currently going to the gym and trying to lose weight so it’s frustrating if i dont lose as much as i wanted or stay the same weight. so if you can, try to weigh yourself only once a week. this is a tip im trying to apply to myself because obsessing over one’s weight is just unhealthy.

• if you part your hair, make sure the line is straight, not necessarily centralized.

• i have curly hair and my life has been a constant cycle of buying different hair products bc none of them ever seem to work but ive been using shea butter mixed with vanilla oil and damn. my hair has never looked/smelled better.

• own nice pjs. you never know if theres an emergency and you have to run out of your house with what you’re wearing. (i dont sleep with clothes so i just keep my silk robe near my bed whenever i go to sleep)

• this goes for underwear too. if you have hispanic parents you know what im talking about. (i don’t believe in period underwear. fight me.)

• please. please. always match your bra and panties. i was at the mall the other day and saw a woman bend over and her panties where beige……. her bra straps were black. just no. (im not saying i have a problem with seeing bra straps. but just make sure theyre the same color as your underwear.)

• get your hair professionally cut at least twice a year. if you can cut your own hair and not butcher it while doing it go ahead!

• stop eating foods you know bloat you.

• if you want to lose weight, dont focus on doing targeted exercises like crunches and squats. Do cardio. (not saying that you shouldn’t squat once in a while, but cardio helps you loose weight while targeted/focused excersices tone)

• if you happen to go to Planet fitness and want to shed a few pounds. use the Arc Trainer. its the best machine for weight loss.

• dont use setting powder after concealing your eyelids (gotta thank my girl daisy marquez i love her)

• when buying gift sets at sephora, only buy hair/skin care sets (a friend of mine used to work at sephora and said only to do so if you wanted to try certain products for the first time bc its not really cost effective)

• y’all gotta stop sleeping on stores like marhsalls and tjmaxx when you can be saving loads of money (ask an employee which day of the week they put out new merch)

• invest in silk sheets (trust me if/when you shave your legs you’ll know what heaven feels like)

• make a cup of tea and sit down and enjoy a book

• the B E S T brand for lip balms is burt bees. i love the peppermint one but they are all truly good.

• buy a diva cup. they are comfortable. cost effective. personally i dont like having to change my pad every 2-3 hours and a diva cup can be used for up to 12 hours. i changed like 5 times a day during my cycle while wearing pads and now i change around 15 times per cycle. you have to be absolutely comfortable with your body, especially your vagina to start wearing them tbh (diva cups come in two sizes i believe model 1 model 2 i bought both because my first two days are my heaviest flows. so during the first days i use the biggest one and use the small the rest of the cycle.) if you want me to make a post about my experience wearing them let me know!

• castor oil hair mask every two weeks.

• invest in scrub gloves for life changing, smooth skin. (although i shower 2-3 times a day i only scrub at night then coat my whole body with shea butter) \ let me know if y’all want my night routine merged with my boob/butt care routine in another post!

• get a journal/agenda and plan your week (i got this bullet journal)

• always make your bed in the morning

• if you like someones outfit, tell them. if you like someones smile. tell them. give compliments every once in a while.

• dont judge people’s clothing, specially if they’re fat and youre thinking some shit like “theres types of clothes for those type of bodies”. just shut the fuck up. i do agree that there are types of clothes for every ocasion but not for bodies. if you, a skinny girl, can wear a crop top in public, so can a fat girl. (this coming from someone who used to be very fat and stopped wearing crop tops in public bc of mean ass bitches)

• if youre in an office, wether it be a doctors or some government office or whatever, dont be talking loudly on the phone. me and the rest of the population hate you if you do this. it’s annoying and rude. nobody cares if your sisters bestfriends boyfriend had sex with a dog. i really dont care. if you HAVE to talk on the phone, quietly exit the room and talk all you want.

• a friend of mine (a girl) told me that she doesnt hold the door for anyone, and i mean ANYONE, bc she’s a lady. thats bullshit. if you see a woman with a stroller, an old lady, or basically anyone, hold the door for them. its plain rude for you to let the door slam in someones face bc you believe everyone should treat you like a lady. (im not sayin they shouldn’t but act like a lady, not a bitch)

• iron your clothes.

• never use your phone at the table.

• dont point out acne or sun burns.

• if youre a vegan or vegetarian or eat, protein shakes are always a good breakfast option if youre in a hurry or dont want to cook

• if you have acne scars mix an egg white and an apricot in the blender. thank me later.

• buy african black soap for better skin. (if you have sensitive skin i wouldn’t recommend it tbh)

• if youre at the gym: fucking wear appropriate attire. (ive seen girls with jean shorts and flannels wrapped around their waists… i get that some girls wear red lipstick to feel hot and theres nothing wrong with that. but dont lie to me and say that you’re comfortable running with jeans rubbing against your thighs. everyone is probably judging you.)

• always tip your waiters/waitresses. if the service is good tip atleast 15%. (i always tip 20% / if you have a favorite restaurant and you like a particular waiter/waitress ask for them to serve you. its more likely youll get a better service.) whenever i go to my favorite restaurant the same guy always comes to my table and we chat. he memorized what appetizers, main courses, and desserts my family usually orders so when i go there hes like “welcome to *****, 2 lemonades and a room temp bottle water?” and same goes for appetizers and the rest of the meal. always be friendly to your waiters/waitresses. always.

• smile more often and remember self-care isn’t selfish.

~~~~~~~~~~

im sorry this took so long to post… i hope some of these are helpful. reblog if you’d like to see a pt. 3¿? theres not much more to add but i constantly change products and routines so who knows.

Getting myself together

If you want to be ATTRACTIVE you can be.

-Get up early. Set your alarm and stretch first thing. Then go make some tea.

-Get dressed, do light makeup & go for a walk (Always look your best even if it’s light makeup & your hair is in a ponytail).

-Work out. Even though you don’t want to! Do you think anybody wants to at first? No. How do they get results? Discipline.

-Check off a calendar to feel accomplished after u do these things every day (with a rest day in between. Even then, stay active just go easier—walk).

-Do a face mask 2X a week at the end of the day. Put teabags on eyes to reduce puffiness. Moisturize and use gua sha roller to massage face.

-Sleep to binaural beats music for deep sleep

If you want to be SMART you can be.

-Read portions of a book mindfully and try to retain that information.

-Try to finish 1 book every 2 weeks. The library is your friend.

-Do a crossword in the local newspaper

If you want to be STRONG you can be.

-STOP giving into your emotions & being at their mercy.

-Do you feel sad? Well cry it out, comfort yourself & then get right back to doing whatever you need to further your goals.

-Don’t be an open book. Even if you don’t feel well nobody on the outside needs to know. Don’t give away your secrets. Only ask for help from appropriate people.

If you want to be FRIENDLY & PERSONABLE you can be.

-What would you do if you were drunk/ not overthinking it?

-How others react to you is none of your business. Don’t let them determine your worth/ mood.

-Compliment strangers. Ask for directions. This can lead to small talk.

-Mirror people subtly. Add on to the conversation by asking questions. Wait until the other person is done speaking no matter how badly you want to get a word in.

-Get approached by always looking put together & nice. Even if you’re not, fool them on the outside.

Ladies, if you have a crush, are obsessing over a guy or fantasising about a man that is inaccessible for whatever reason this message is for you. This a wake-up call. A slap-in-the-fucking-face moment to tell you to GET this person out your head so you can start living and enjoying life WITH an actual person you desire instead living in this made-up fantasy world with a man that’s out of reach. 

Firstly, why the hell are you letting any man live rent free in your mind? A man you’re not even with, a man that’s not even paying your bills? Sweetie, get-it-together. Do you know what mentally happens when you overthink about a man? You put him on a pedestal. You create separation. You focus in and you repel, because you are now in masculine energy. A man in his masculine hunts, and focuses in on his target. How can there be healthy polarity between you both if you are also in the masculine role? Do you see how damaging this is? Instead of living in separation from your desires, start telling yourself, it’s normal to be in a relationship with a man you desire, it’s normal for men to be attracted to me. If you’re in the habit of having crushes, but not actually having relationships, work on using the statements above every single day for re-programming. 

Finally. Everything you want is accessible to you, don’t ever fucking believe you can’t have a healthy relationship, that you’re not worthy of an actual relationship with a man you desire. You can and will have it all sweetie, maybe not this guy, maybe not even the next. But the right man will be accessible to you. You won’t need to be dreaming about being close to him, to having him touch you, kiss you, fuck you. This will be your reality. Don’t even think about wasting a moment longer on a crush, a man who friend-zoned you, the man who wants you but doesn’t want you. Let them go, you deserve available men. Over and out. 

I’ll never regret someone that I had an amazing time and experience with. Even if we fall off. You made my life special at a certain time. We grew together, even if we grew apart. Thank you

The Ultimate Law of Assumption Guide 🦋

Mental diet - only thinking thoughts and only having (inner) conversations that align with your desired reality.

How to trust that your negative thoughts are powerless: by understanding that your thoughts would cease to exist without you. You are not your thoughts, rather, you are merely the observer. If you have a negative thought, simply allow yourself to acknowledge its presence. Don’t try to fight it as doing so will only perpetuate it. Distract yourself by doing something you enjoy and it will dissipate in due time.

The psychological lifespan of an emotion is 90 seconds. If you experience a negative thought or emotion beyond this timeframe, you are the sole perpetrator via your thoughts and inner conversations.

Everything you experience is a part of the bridge of events. In the grand scheme of things, your undesirable circumstances are irrelevant. Your desires are a promise and if you truly accepted this, you wouldn’t allow your circumstances to sidetrack you.

Reasons you have yet to receive your desire: 1.) you think you’re keeping a mental diet but you’re still having negative thoughts disguised as imaginary arguments 2.) you’re constantly discussing your undesired circumstances and/or how you don't have your manifestation 3. You’re assuming you’re doing something wrong (always assume you’re doing everything right).

Where you place your attention is where you will see results. Where focus goes, energy flows.

As you--through the medium of imagination--assume a state of consciousness, the state begins to clothe itself in form, but you must be faithful to that state. You cannot oscillate from state to state—you must patiently persist in your desired state until it becomes an objective fact.

Revision: There is no inevitable permanence in anything. The only reason the past and present continue to exist is because they are sustained through your imagining them on some level or another. A radical transformation of life is always possible through man’s revision of the undesirable aspects of it for the past—although it is experienced in this world—dates back to imagination. To revise an undesirable scenario, simply imagine something more magnificent in its place; imagine it as you would have liked it to be for “man and his past are one continuous structure”. “The past and the present form the whole structure of man; they are carrying all of its contents with it. Any alteration of content will result in an alteration in the present and future.” and “If the past is recreated into the present, so will the revised past be recreated into the present.”

In consciousness / imagination, you already have what you want but you must trust in your imagination as it is more real than anything you see without (aka the 3D). Stop looking for evidence in the 3D for the most common cause of failure is failure to live in the end: “If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses.”. Continue to possess it within and its possession without is inevitable.

Jealousy: Whenever you experience jealousy, remember that another person's success does not equate to your failure or lack. Positive things happening to others should serve as your reminder that good things are also available for you. A success for one person is a success for all as we are all one and connected.

Obsession: obsession is the result of a deep rooted insecurity and/or an overall poor concept of self. If you are obsessive over something--especially a person--you have fallen into the illusion that you must have this thing to be happy. You have forgotten that you are the only one who can create this feeling of fulfillment and happiness for yourself. Identifying what it is you believe your desire will fulfill within you and creating that feeling for yourself will allow your desire to manifest in a swifter and easier manner.

How to become the ideal version of yourself: Ask yourself what that version of you looks like; What do they do? What does their life look like? Now all you must do to become that version of yourself is think like that version.

Your desires are not greater than you. You are the only one who gives your desire purpose / value. Your desire is merely a thing…an inanimate object with no life separate from you. The only reason it seems so elusive is because you have placed it on a pedestal. Take your desire it the pedestal and stop treating it as though it’s greater than you. Your desire would literally cease to exist without you…not the other way around.

Whenever you experience negative thoughts: Remember that you have free will—you can choose to counteract those negative thoughts by choosing positive, constructive thoughts instead.

Stop checking the 3D to see if it’s conforming for when you do this, you’re attempting to change your outer reality instead of persisting in your inner reality. In other words, you’re dwelling in a state of lack rather than a state of wish fulfilled (abundance).

If your desire feels unattainable: if your desire feels unattainable, it’s simply due to your predominant focus being on doubts and failure rather than faith and success. Fortunately, repetition in your desired story can fix this.

Simple way to ignore the 3D: by focusing only on what you want.

What you desire is already done / created / true in another, parallel reality. Hence, you’re not ‘creating’ anything, you’re merely shifting to the reality in which your desire is already a present fact. All you must do to align yourself with your desired reality is mentally live there now .

Stop trying to rationalize everything by worrying about the how. Think only of your end goal and trust that the ‘how’ will work itself out.

Your inner dialogue = affirmations. Affirmations aren’t always prefaced with “I am” for your inner conversations are also affirmations. The inner conversations you’re having with yourself and other people are also reflecting in your outer world.

Quantum physics states that when 2 or more particles (or people) interact, their states remain linked regardless of distance, thus disproving the illusion of separation. Thus, every affirmation regarding your SP must reach them.

If you feel your manifestation is taking too long: your predominant focus is on the lack of your desire (the 3D) rather than its presence (imagination / 4D). Persist in your desired reality within and it has no choice but to appear without.

Despite your persistence, your 3D looks the way it does as a result of the state you fell into for it is merely reflecting your old states (hence, the time lag), but without your awareness, it will cease to be. In other words, refrain from thinking or paying attention to your undesirable circumstances and they will cease to exist. Despite what your 3D may look like now, your new thoughts (state) will shortly catch up.

Because your state produces thoughts in alignment with your desires, use your thoughts as a tool to measure which state you’re predominantly occupying.

Disregard any possibility other than the one you want and believe, no matter what. As long as you allow an alternative outcome to be an option, it will always remain an option. Choose to drive anything other than what you want out of your consciousness and saturate your mind only with that which you desire.

It doesn’t matter how you feel. Keep affirming / visualizing / whichever technique you prefer and your feelings will automatically change for your thoughts create your feelings.

State = thoughts, emotions, beliefs, attitude, reactions, and impulses. To change your state, experience in imagination that which constitutes your desired state.

EIYPO - what you feel and believe to be true about yourself and others will be reflected in those around you. If you feel insignificant and unworthy, people are going to reflect that by treating you as such. This is exactly why you’re encouraged to focus on your self concept rather than SP: when you improve your self concept, everyone (including your SP) will reflect that. If you feel worthy and attractive, your SP has no choice but to reflect that by treating you as such. People are merely messengers revealing to you what you believe to be true about yourself and others. If people are pointing something out, it’s because you are heavily focused on it. Think and speak about yourself in the way you want to be perceived by others.

How to stop waiting / checking for results: Think (affirm) as though your desires were already yours. Your desired reality is the only thing you should be focused on.

The moment you have a desire, it is done. The delay in the outer world is simply the orchestration of the people, places, and things necessary for the realization of your desire.

Once you start feeling natural / nonchalant about your desire, that’s when you know it’s close.

How to get rid of a third party: simply stop thinking about them. What you remove your attention from will eventually dissipate.

Stop giving attention to things you don’t want. If you don’t want it, it doesn’t deserve your time or energy.

How to get rid of resistance: The only way to get rid of resistance is through repetition & persistence in the new story.

By expecting / assuming something, you are only perpetuating it. If you expect / assume people always leave you on read, that will continue to be the case

To change your SP: if you want your SP to change, all you must do is change the way you think of and perceive them. If you’re annoyed with the way your SP constantly ghosts you, stop focusing on the ‘fact’ that they constantly ghost you and instead, focus on the version of them that’s communicative and loving.

How to let go of the old story: stop re-affirming it and stop allowing your old thoughts to creep in.

What to do if you’re not seeing movement: If you’re not seeing any movement, you’re simply focused on the lack of movement. This is a tell-tale sign that you’re living in the 3D (physical, perceivable reality) as opposed to the 4D (imagination).

Consistent thoughts = consistent results. Inconsistent thoughts = inconsistent results.

Think and speak as though you already had your desire and saturate your mind with that story. That should be the dominant, if not only thing, playing in your mind.

As eager as you may be to vent about it, repeating your old story isn’t going to make you feel better, but changing your thoughts to that of the wish fulfilled will.

You’re not creating, attracting, wishing, or hoping for your desire to manifest—you’re simply entering the state / reality in which it’s already a present fact. Every reality already exists now and all you must do to shift to / experience your desired reality is persistently dwell there.

What happens when two people are manifesting the same thing: trust that will win every single time. Your thoughts are the only thing that can allow you to ‘lose’ your desire to someone else.

Why things go ‘backwards’ : The only reason why things may go ‘backwards’ (aka why you’re not seeing progress or why your circumstances may he even worse circumstances than they were before) is because your thoughts and focus aren’t as persistent as they once were—when you were seeing steady progress .

“Die to your former self by yielding to other (favorable) states”. In order ‘die’ to your former self, you must enter a new state of consciousness, which will inevitably result in completely new life circumstances.

Your primary goal when manifesting shouldn’t be to gain something without (the 3D) but for your mental state to be aligned with your end goal. Rather than looking towards the 3D for ‘proof’ or ‘evidence’, you should only be looking within: Are you thoughts in alignment with your end goal? Do your inner conversations match those with the state of the wish fulfilled? Is your dominant focus on your desired reality rather than your current circumstances?

Persistence is the only way to get rid of resistance.

Rather than constantly focusing on the 3D, just persist. It’s okay if you don’t believe it or if the 3D is triggering you, but you must keep going. Remember that the 3D is irrelevant for everything is conforming behind the scenes: “An assumption, though false, if persisted in will harden into fact.”

When a desire comes upon you, immediately accept that it is done. It is already yours and God is nudging you to experience it.

Because the light of God within you is so strong and overpowering, your negative thoughts dislike you as much as you dislike them.

Your negative thoughts only have power over you if you believe them. If you can remain the mere observer of those thoughts and replace them with better, more positive thoughts, they will eventually dwindle and die down. Even if they do resurface, your awareness of who you really are will be so strong that they will no longer bother you.

Persist in reminding yourself that you are God. Anytime you’re feeling down or powerless, ask yourself, “What would God be thinking right now?”, “How would God act?” and do just that. Whatever you affirm to be true for yourself is exactly how your reality will unfold. Until you create a new story for yourself, you will only perpetuate your old, undesirable reality.

What you desire is already yours and there is nothing for you to do but accept your desires. Accept and feel the joy of fulfillment. Because your desires are meant to be, there is no reason to affirm the opposite.

Through your desires, you are able to catch a glimpse into your future that starts the moment you have that desire.

“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”          – Confucius 

You're welcome.

28th Sep '21

Dear brain,

The past and future are illusions; a structure of time.

What matters is now, the present.

So stop thinking over and over again about what has happened and what will happen tomorrow.

Just sleep.

Fuck your dreams!

- or at least revise them from time to time...

So a few months ago my boyfriend (who is really fond of TED Talks) told me about one of the talks he listened to recently. The message was supposed to be "F**k your dreams!". I've got to be honest with you, I simply did not agree with him.

Well, about two weeks ago one of my few loved family members died and before I even could cry about it or realize what kind of loss that meant for me, something inside of me demanded change. Change concerning my dreams. And that was really a strange thought because I have been working so hard towards becoming a PI, having my own chair in some microbiological discipline, that it basically left me with nothing else.

Now, it has been some time since this initial spark. I did a lot of crying, thinking, reading and blankly staring into my computer - not really able to articulate what was going on inside of me. But this thought had stuck in my head because after all I felt like I've been saying "Sorry, I am busy" way too much over the past years. And I might have just discovered that my time, my boyfriend's time, my friend's time and sadly also my family's time on earth is limited. Everyone's time is limited. Somehow it felt like I forgot to use it the right way.

Still, not knowing how to communicate any of these thoughts, I straight out asked my boyfriend what he thought would happen if I just started all over and started a degree in engineering. And he said: "Well, then you'll become an engineer." The answer was so simple that it made me laugh because something within me expected him to talk me out of it, to give me a passionate speech about following my dreams and not have one through back make me quit. But he obviously asked for reasons and we talked them over. In the end he gave me a passionate speech - my own personal TED Talk on how I am not obligated to my old dreams and that I can revise them anytime I want to. And that's when I understood what the talk was about to say. (I am actually not sure if this one is the talk he got the idea from & my personal one was more inspiring to me but this one will do for you.)

I thought it would get harder to express my thoughts to other people. Especially, because I am still trying to figure out what I want to do instead. Engineering was just the first thing I could think of. But actually, nobody tried to talk me out of it. People asked questions. Obviously. Because suddenly I wasn't this stubborn fighter anymore who would do anything to become a well-known scientist. But they meant well & just tried to understand. And they did understand. Even my mom was full on in telling me that there are so many things I am interested in and that I am talented in that I would surely find my way. No word about finishing what I started. No word about how much longer I would want to study. Or if at some point I was going to earn my own money. (I am very much planning on it though.)

So, I guess, what I want to say is: If you ever find yourself doubting your dreams, don't be shy to revise them and take your time. And never be afraid to communicate it - you might find support where you never expected it to be.

☝🏽👌🏽