Me Every Single Night:

notes to self *new information edition*

🌼 Human life is filled with its little miseries. The little irritations of human life. I don't know the exact translation, but Van Gogh, in his letters to his brother, kept saying 'misères de la vie humain'. And he said it as such a factual thing. Like 'oh, that's just the little miseries of our human life. What are yours lately?'

It left me so stunned. That sort of acceptance? It's golden. Currently my misères de la vie humain are job hunting and not thinking about how the world is increasingly becoming dystopic.

🌼 This desire for slow, mindful living, the rejection of a fast-paced hustle culture driven life where we glorify being burned out and busy all the time - it's not stupid. Read this passage by the writer Jeff Brown where he speaks about when we are not centered, it's easy to be manipulated and targeted by others including capitalism. To force yourself to align your goals with those of others. Because you don't know your authentic self. You don't know what you want.

But you have to focus on noticing everything - from your breath, to your body, to your inner self. And you have to centre yourself. He says it may be counter intuitive but actually the slower you move, the faster you will return home. And that just validated what I've known and felt all along.

🌼 Saw this reel on Instagram that revealed the best advice for overthinkers. It said, when you're overthinking: write. When you're underthinking: read. When you're confused: do both.

How has something so simple yet profound not found its way to me before? I hated the word overthinker because as a teenager everyone used that against me. But then one day this random girl from my class said it's not that you overthink, it's just that your standard level of thinking is already so high from the others that to them it's beyond their normal processing capacity. I wish she is doing well right now.

🌼 Hearing some hypocritical people talk about boundaries in their distorted victim blaming narrative, I realized that bro you need to communicate a boundary when you want to set it. Like if you've known someone for 10 years and suddenly you want to change something about your relationship and you decide to set a boundary that demands that change - then you can't just set it in your mind and not communicate it to the other person. And you certainly cannot get mad when they cross a boundary they didn't even know exists now suddenly.

People are increasingly misusing popular narratives surrounding mental health and well being to justify their shitty behaviour. And it's just fucked up.

🌼 To end on a lighter note, I just learned tonight how to say 'my hobby is reading' in Korean and it makes me very happy. I can finally understand sentence formation and structure better and am confident to carry on.

Public speaking tips

…and tips for giving presentations

Today I want to share the things I learnt to make public speaking easier. Before I start, I want to say I’m naturally okay at talking to larger amounts of people. If you have severe social anxiety, these tips might not be for you and you might not find them that helpful. That’s okay! Work on your health and don’t feel bad if public speaking isn’t your thing.

Mistakes are okay and expected -You will fumble your words or forget some things. You will stutter or stay silent for a bit too long. You will notice a typo in your presentation. It’s okay and your audience won’t care. They won’t even notice most of the time. Don’t get consumed by your mistake. If it’s big, apologise and correct yourself. If it’s small, let go and continue with you speech/presentation.

Loosen up -Even the most serious talks and presentations are not THAT serious. Loosen up, joke a little bit (keep it in appropriate amounts of course), make fun of yourself a bit. This isn’t life or death situation and your audience will appreciate human approach 

They’re all just people -This follows up the previous point. Your audience is consisted of people who will understand when you make a mistake. People who want to see a pleasant human being on the other side. Large groups of people may look intimidating but they have the same thoughts and worries like you do. They will understand your feelings and mistakes

Move -Use your hands, be expressive! It creates a better connection with your audience. Also make sure to change the tone of your voice accordingly. Monotone speech won’t hold anyone’s attention

Look at your audience -Choose people to look at. Preferably people who are listening to you and are responsive, so you can feel the communication. Also, looking at individuals makes them listen and pay more attention

Loud and clear -Speak loudly and clearly. Make sure your voice carries well in the room and everyone can hear you well enough

Don’t read or recite -This one is especially important for presentations. Keep your notes or presentation simple. Reading or reciting things becomes boring very quickly and you will lose the attention of your audience

Don’t be afraid of pauses -People often make funny noises when they get stuck, simply to avoid being silent. Don’t be afraid of silence! It’s okay, take a pause to catch a breath or to remember a fact. Sometimes pauses can even work as a great dramatic tool

Know your topic -People have questions and that can be scary. Make sure you feel ready for those questions. Know what the fancy words in your presentation mean. Know a little more than you talk about. And if you don’t know the answer? Don’t panic, apologise, admit that you don’t know and offer a follow up on the subject later

Admit emotion -You can say that you’re nervous! You can admit your uncertainty. It’s okay! Once again: your audience is full of people who will relate to you

Get to know the room if you can -Familiar environment will make you feel better and a little more confident. Visit the room if you don’t know it already, if you can

Time will go by quickly -Before you start it seems really daunting and scary but it will go by and you’ll be done before you even notice! You’ll be okay, I promise. Even if it goes poorly, you’ll forget it eventually. It does not matter forever

I hope I helped and if you have more tips and adice, feel free to add!

The problem is a lot of people are scared to fail. They opt for not doing anything at all so their ego doesn’t get hurt. If you can’t risk failing you’ll never win. How can you commit to anything & succeed if you can’t even commit to yourself & conquer your feelings.

What I've learned throughout my 20's

1. Don't tell your family everything. it will backfire.

2. Don't tell your closest friends everything. it will backfire.

3. Never tell anyone about how much you have in your account. that's only for you and the bank to know.

4. Work hard in silence.

5. Don't chase men. Chase your goals.

6. Don't be too kind. not everyone has your heart.

7. There will never be anyone like you.

8. Read as many books as you can. Knowledge is power.

9. Wear sunscreen every single day. your skin will thank you later on.

10. Prioritize solitude time. your soul needs it.

11. Try to eat at home more often, the food is surrounded by your own energy.

12. Don't wake up to your phone screen. What are you going to get out of that?

13. Just like binge eating, binge watching is also not healthy. Go live!

14. Water is your best friend.

15. Education will never leave you.

16. Say how you feel once. and only once. if you find yourself repeating the same things, they don't care.

17. Everyday is a special occasion, because you're alive.

18. You know yourself better than anyone ever will. So who cares about those who judge you, their opinions aren't paying you.

19. Abusive men don't change. they just change their tactics.

20. It's better to say no than to feel uncomfortable.

21. Social media is a commercial.

22. If you lost yourself, you will find a way back.

23. Listen to your inner child. She needs you and you need her.

24. Love who you are no matter what state you are in.

Source - exhalefierceness

“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”          – Confucius 

when is it my turn to get the feminine urge to study for three hours straight

Your daily reminder to pull-your-shit-together. Remove the distractions. Delete the apps. Use flight mode. This is your one life. All those people you see making moves, do you think they’re sat there wasting their morning scrolling when they have shit to do? No, they’re up, working out, meditating, writing, reading, doing whatever the fuck they need to do to get them to where they want to be. Stop holding yourself back, you have so much potential, you’re literally the cause and the cure. Do you want you to do well? Live the life of your dreams? Well babygirl it’s not gonna happen unless you break out of these unproductive habits. You need to get into momentum, you need to have a plan and stick to it. You need to channel your energy into moving forward. You can do this, let’s go! 

I wish, I wish with all my heart that I could carry home in my back like a turtle.

Atleast that will give me the reason to avoid human interaction.

If you can't even spend 5 minutes with God now on earth how are you going to last eternity with Him?