this is so important 🙌
I don’t procrastinate. I proactively accumulate guilt-contingent motivation.
If your gift is serving, then serve. If it is teaching, then teach. Is it encouraging others? Then encourage them. Is it giving to others? Then give freely. Is it being a leader? Then work hard at it. Is it showing mercy? Then do it cheerfully.
Romans 12:7-8 NIRV
🌼 Human life is filled with its little miseries. The little irritations of human life. I don't know the exact translation, but Van Gogh, in his letters to his brother, kept saying 'misères de la vie humain'. And he said it as such a factual thing. Like 'oh, that's just the little miseries of our human life. What are yours lately?'
It left me so stunned. That sort of acceptance? It's golden. Currently my misères de la vie humain are job hunting and not thinking about how the world is increasingly becoming dystopic.
🌼 This desire for slow, mindful living, the rejection of a fast-paced hustle culture driven life where we glorify being burned out and busy all the time - it's not stupid. Read this passage by the writer Jeff Brown where he speaks about when we are not centered, it's easy to be manipulated and targeted by others including capitalism. To force yourself to align your goals with those of others. Because you don't know your authentic self. You don't know what you want.
But you have to focus on noticing everything - from your breath, to your body, to your inner self. And you have to centre yourself. He says it may be counter intuitive but actually the slower you move, the faster you will return home. And that just validated what I've known and felt all along.
🌼 Saw this reel on Instagram that revealed the best advice for overthinkers. It said, when you're overthinking: write. When you're underthinking: read. When you're confused: do both.
How has something so simple yet profound not found its way to me before? I hated the word overthinker because as a teenager everyone used that against me. But then one day this random girl from my class said it's not that you overthink, it's just that your standard level of thinking is already so high from the others that to them it's beyond their normal processing capacity. I wish she is doing well right now.
🌼 Hearing some hypocritical people talk about boundaries in their distorted victim blaming narrative, I realized that bro you need to communicate a boundary when you want to set it. Like if you've known someone for 10 years and suddenly you want to change something about your relationship and you decide to set a boundary that demands that change - then you can't just set it in your mind and not communicate it to the other person. And you certainly cannot get mad when they cross a boundary they didn't even know exists now suddenly.
People are increasingly misusing popular narratives surrounding mental health and well being to justify their shitty behaviour. And it's just fucked up.
🌼 To end on a lighter note, I just learned tonight how to say 'my hobby is reading' in Korean and it makes me very happy. I can finally understand sentence formation and structure better and am confident to carry on.
Your daily reminder to pull-your-shit-together. Remove the distractions. Delete the apps. Use flight mode. This is your one life. All those people you see making moves, do you think they’re sat there wasting their morning scrolling when they have shit to do? No, they’re up, working out, meditating, writing, reading, doing whatever the fuck they need to do to get them to where they want to be. Stop holding yourself back, you have so much potential, you’re literally the cause and the cure. Do you want you to do well? Live the life of your dreams? Well babygirl it’s not gonna happen unless you break out of these unproductive habits. You need to get into momentum, you need to have a plan and stick to it. You need to channel your energy into moving forward. You can do this, let’s go!Â
once again, this turned out way longer than expected, but this particular post doesn’t have as many product recommendations as pt. 1. this is more focused on tips that, i feel, make me a better version of myself
*the links show the brands i use but there are cheaper options you can find that work just as well
• shower at least two times a day.
• after showering at night use a pumice stone to remove dead skin from your feet then coat your feet with shea butter and put on socks overnight.
• have a diy manicure weekly. even if you dont paint your nails, make sure theyre clean and trimmed (or get your nails done professionally, whatever floats your boat.
• floss.
• y’all know im a natural ho when it comes to things i put in or on my body. ive always struggled with my teeth. they were yellow asf and i didn’t like it (if you dont care if your teeth are yellow and love them that way, kudos for you, i am not). i tried turmeric, oil pulling method, banana peels, strawberries, charcoal, baking soda… basically everything and it didnt work (these may work for some but they didn’t for me) so i bought crest strips and bitch. for $22 i have the whitest teeth ive ever had. it may not work for everyone but it did for me(ik that some dentists and orthodontists offer whitening services but my mom had it done and she has had sensitive gums ever since so due it at your own discretion).
• for fucks sake. clean. your. damn. ears. theres this beautiful invention called Q-Tips. use them.
• NEVER look at the floor while walking. look straight forward. if you make eye contact with a stranger, smile. this shows confidence and tbh i hate it when people, specially attractive girls, give you a nasty look. just smile. youll look good and possibly even male someones day.
• again, eye contact is hot. make eye contact. always.
• be polite and friendly. when entering a place say “good morning”, when leaving say “have a nice/good afternoon/evening”.
• your back should always be straight. posture is attractive.
• wake up early. (i usually wake up at six, go to the gym and in my opinion its the best way to start your day. ik its not for everyone but if you can, do so).
• do not. DO. NOT. drink sodas. its bad for you. plain and simple. drink water.
• try to get in 8 hours at the gym weekly. you dont have to go the 7 days but if you to two hours a day and have rests days in between youll be good. (before someone starts talking shit, im not saying to do two hours of cardio. nope. you do you. you can do 30 minutes of cardio and do weights or mat exercises for the remaining time. i usually do 1 hour of cardio and 1 hour of whatever i feel like doing (legs, arms, abs… sometimes i’ll combine them))
• i developed the bad habit of weighing myself everyday and im currently going to the gym and trying to lose weight so it’s frustrating if i dont lose as much as i wanted or stay the same weight. so if you can, try to weigh yourself only once a week. this is a tip im trying to apply to myself because obsessing over one’s weight is just unhealthy.
• if you part your hair, make sure the line is straight, not necessarily centralized.
• i have curly hair and my life has been a constant cycle of buying different hair products bc none of them ever seem to work but ive been using shea butter mixed with vanilla oil and damn. my hair has never looked/smelled better.
• own nice pjs. you never know if theres an emergency and you have to run out of your house with what you’re wearing. (i dont sleep with clothes so i just keep my silk robe near my bed whenever i go to sleep)
• this goes for underwear too. if you have hispanic parents you know what im talking about. (i don’t believe in period underwear. fight me.)
• please. please. always match your bra and panties. i was at the mall the other day and saw a woman bend over and her panties where beige……. her bra straps were black. just no. (im not saying i have a problem with seeing bra straps. but just make sure theyre the same color as your underwear.)
• get your hair professionally cut at least twice a year. if you can cut your own hair and not butcher it while doing it go ahead!
• stop eating foods you know bloat you.
• if you want to lose weight, dont focus on doing targeted exercises like crunches and squats. Do cardio. (not saying that you shouldn’t squat once in a while, but cardio helps you loose weight while targeted/focused excersices tone)
• if you happen to go to Planet fitness and want to shed a few pounds. use the Arc Trainer. its the best machine for weight loss.
• dont use setting powder after concealing your eyelids (gotta thank my girl daisy marquez i love her)
• when buying gift sets at sephora, only buy hair/skin care sets (a friend of mine used to work at sephora and said only to do so if you wanted to try certain products for the first time bc its not really cost effective)
• y’all gotta stop sleeping on stores like marhsalls and tjmaxx when you can be saving loads of money (ask an employee which day of the week they put out new merch)
• invest in silk sheets (trust me if/when you shave your legs you’ll know what heaven feels like)
• make a cup of tea and sit down and enjoy a book
• the B E S T brand for lip balms is burt bees. i love the peppermint one but they are all truly good.
• buy a diva cup. they are comfortable. cost effective. personally i dont like having to change my pad every 2-3 hours and a diva cup can be used for up to 12 hours. i changed like 5 times a day during my cycle while wearing pads and now i change around 15 times per cycle. you have to be absolutely comfortable with your body, especially your vagina to start wearing them tbh (diva cups come in two sizes i believe model 1 model 2 i bought both because my first two days are my heaviest flows. so during the first days i use the biggest one and use the small the rest of the cycle.) if you want me to make a post about my experience wearing them let me know!
• castor oil hair mask every two weeks.
• invest in scrub gloves for life changing, smooth skin. (although i shower 2-3 times a day i only scrub at night then coat my whole body with shea butter) \ let me know if y’all want my night routine merged with my boob/butt care routine in another post!
• get a journal/agenda and plan your week (i got this bullet journal)
• always make your bed in the morning
• if you like someones outfit, tell them. if you like someones smile. tell them. give compliments every once in a while.
• dont judge people’s clothing, specially if they’re fat and youre thinking some shit like “theres types of clothes for those type of bodies”. just shut the fuck up. i do agree that there are types of clothes for every ocasion but not for bodies. if you, a skinny girl, can wear a crop top in public, so can a fat girl. (this coming from someone who used to be very fat and stopped wearing crop tops in public bc of mean ass bitches)
• if youre in an office, wether it be a doctors or some government office or whatever, dont be talking loudly on the phone. me and the rest of the population hate you if you do this. it’s annoying and rude. nobody cares if your sisters bestfriends boyfriend had sex with a dog. i really dont care. if you HAVE to talk on the phone, quietly exit the room and talk all you want.
• a friend of mine (a girl) told me that she doesnt hold the door for anyone, and i mean ANYONE, bc she’s a lady. thats bullshit. if you see a woman with a stroller, an old lady, or basically anyone, hold the door for them. its plain rude for you to let the door slam in someones face bc you believe everyone should treat you like a lady. (im not sayin they shouldn’t but act like a lady, not a bitch)
• iron your clothes.
• never use your phone at the table.
• dont point out acne or sun burns.
• if youre a vegan or vegetarian or eat, protein shakes are always a good breakfast option if youre in a hurry or dont want to cook
• if you have acne scars mix an egg white and an apricot in the blender. thank me later.
• buy african black soap for better skin. (if you have sensitive skin i wouldn’t recommend it tbh)
• if youre at the gym: fucking wear appropriate attire. (ive seen girls with jean shorts and flannels wrapped around their waists… i get that some girls wear red lipstick to feel hot and theres nothing wrong with that. but dont lie to me and say that you’re comfortable running with jeans rubbing against your thighs. everyone is probably judging you.)
• always tip your waiters/waitresses. if the service is good tip atleast 15%. (i always tip 20% / if you have a favorite restaurant and you like a particular waiter/waitress ask for them to serve you. its more likely youll get a better service.) whenever i go to my favorite restaurant the same guy always comes to my table and we chat. he memorized what appetizers, main courses, and desserts my family usually orders so when i go there hes like “welcome to *****, 2 lemonades and a room temp bottle water?” and same goes for appetizers and the rest of the meal. always be friendly to your waiters/waitresses. always.
• smile more often and remember self-care isn’t selfish.
~~~~~~~~~~
im sorry this took so long to post… i hope some of these are helpful. reblog if you’d like to see a pt. 3¿? theres not much more to add but i constantly change products and routines so who knows.
Recently, I realised there are so many things I want to research and learn, I had to write it all down. I wanted to share these with you today!:
📚 Thing to research:
politics
nutrition
investing
dog care/animal care in general
zero waste living
veganism
intuitive eating
solo travel
music and rhythm
herbology
map reading
fashion
home design
etiquette
bitcoin
taxes
🔨 Skills to try, learn or practice:
cooking
german
spanish
dancing
baking
gardening¨
digital art
photography
art (traditional methods)
yoga
programming
sewing
writing
mushroom picking
public speaking
makeup
photoshop
embroydery
czech sign language
laundry
hair styling
splits
blogging
Feel free to take inspiration and if you have more ideas please share them with me!
Look, a romantic wishlist is a nice thought, but it’s also creepy and unfair. It’s setting up an impossible monstrosity of expectations and you’ll be disappointed for no other reason than you played yourself.
I don’t mean lowering your standards. I mean setting real ones, for actual people who exist. For people who are just people and not a customized Frankenstein creature.
The person you’ll end up with is going to be their own person with their own hopes, dreams, goals, anxieties, and weird little habits. They’re not a checklist trophy that will meet your every size or quota.
They’re going to be way different and in fact way more interesting than the stitched up hologram made from half-baked movie cliches and choir-preaching memes.
Relationships are about compromise. Not compromising yourself, no. But about two weird people making it work. It’s a wild mix of chemistry, compatibility, non-negotiables, history and trauma, highs and lows, disagreements and pushback and feedback, augmenting goals, and lifelong change.
“Get you a guy/girl who” only works if you see yourself as a main character-savior-hero and you see others as a secondary prop to fulfill your romantic comedy narrative. In that case, you have other issues and you can wait.
And waiting in the meantime is a really good time for growth, for self-discovery, and for becoming the kind of person you never knew you were looking for. Singleness, really, isn’t waiting. It’s being.
— J.S.