“In My Friend, I Find A Second Self.”

How to activate your "happiness chemicals"...

DOPAMINE ~ the reward chemical

Complete a task

Doing self care acitivites

Eating some food

Celebrating your little wins.

OXYTOCIN ~ the love hormones

Playing with a dog

Playing with a baby

Holding hands

Hugging someone

Giving someone else a compliment

SEROTONIN ~ the mood stabiliser

Meditating

Running

Be in the sun

Walk in nature

Swimming

ENDORPHIN ~ the pain relief

Laughing exercises

Essential oils

Eating dark chocolate

Running

List of products and little tips that have made my skin (and my life) better🌸

(this turned out to be way longer than expected)

*the links show the brands i use but there are cheaper options you can find that work just as well

• tone with thayers witch hazel (rose petal)

• mix one part indian clay (bentonite clay) with two parts apple cider vinegar for the best face mask ever (your face will get a little reddish, but itll go away within 10-15 mins)

• always wear sunblock if you’re going out (even if its a rainy day)

• NEVER use products containing alcohol in your face

• rosehip oil and jojoba oil are really good for fading acne scars and getting rid of acne (they are cheaper dupes for ML miracle serum and Bahi cosmetics sunflower serum which are holy grail // if you do have the money to buy them, do so. but i prefer rosehip and jojoba which you can get at marshalls for like $6 each)

• at night, moisturize face and body with organic shea butter (i dont recommend using it for your face during daytime bc it’ll look too oily, but you do you)

• ^shea butter helps with the appearance of stretch marks (tbh i love my stretch marks, but if you want to fade them a little, mix a little bit of rosehip oil and shea and that should do the trick)

• stop consuming dairy products (once i did, my face cleared up completely.. diet/eating healthy has a huge impact on skin appearance)

• horsetail tea makes your hair look better

• i usually drink unsweetened tea two times a day. almost every tea helps with digestion in my opinion but matcha green tea is the best for digestion and weight loss. (my favorite is hibiscus tea but it has a unique taste so its not for everyone)

• if youre having trouble relaxing or sleeping, drink chamomile tea (again, i rarely add sugar or honey to my teas, but its an adquired taste)

• usually i dont eat before going to bed (at least 2 hours before)

• drink water (everybody says to drink water, but trust me, its the best tip)

• detox water is a god send if you dont like drinking plain water

• exercise 3-4 days a week at least (if you can’t/don’t want to do hardcore exercises just take a walk around the park. just dont be sedentary)

• i am not a breakfast person, so i usually make dairy free shakes (if you want the recipes comment or send me an ask)

• invest in a juicer and make your own natural juices (stop buying those pausterized shit juices that barely keep their nutrients / natural juices help with digestion)

• s t o p eating fast foods. just don’t.

• i exfoliate once a week, usually sundays, with a sugar/salt/coffee scrub depending on what my skin needs. the rest of the week i use a konjac sponge to cleanse my face

• try to change your deodorant to an aluminum free one (the one i used was discountinued.. when i find a good one ill link it here)

• buy a sleeping mask (idk why but i sleep better when i use it + i dont get eyebags)

• for hair mask i use olive oil or avocado oil (i rarely use it more than once every three weeks)

• dry feet? (at night, coat them with shea butter and put socks on) (i literally hate how disgusting it feels but its so worth it in the mornings)

• for hair growth people usually recommend biotin but for some reason everytime i take biotin pills i get really bad acne so id rather use castor oil on my scalp and eyebrows (many say to put it on your eyelashes and it probably works but i dont use it bc i dont want it to be that close to my eyeball but thats just me)

• always exfoliate before shaving your legs (i make my own scrub, again if you want the recipe just ask)

• i stopped drinking coffee (im not sure wether it had an impact on my skin, but i had a strong dependence and addiction to it so i just stopped)

• dont drink sodas or coke or sprite or whatever. stick to water and organic/natural juices.

• sometimes when i wash my hair, i add a serum before brushing it, and add perfume to my hairbrush before detangling. (i love doing this but my hair gets dry whenever i do. so i always do the serum but alternate the perfume thing)

• for the love of god. scrub your lips if you have them chapped and are going to use a matte lipstick. chapped lips + matte lipstick = repulsiveness at its finest

• i stay away from heating products. i rarely iron my hair more than two times a year. embrace your natural hair. or don’t. (its up to you, but if you do, do it bc YOU want to, not bc you think its what others will like)

• i always put on mascara. even if i dont use any more makeup. im a sucker for long eyelashes. (i use the lengthening mascara from 100% pure. i love love love it.)

• i always shower with hot water but i recently read that if you feel light headed after, its bc your blood pressure dropped. (idk i need to research, but showering with hot water relaxes the fuck out of me)

• sleep at least 8 hours

• i mentioned exercising before, but if you can, do so in the morning (i feel way more energized through out the day)

• eating healthier has helped with my menstrual cramps. honest to god, just eat cleaner, exercise and masturbate while on your period. (these are the only things that make me feel better on those days of the month)

• take nudes whenever youre feeling yourself. even if theyre just for you. (always boosts my self esteem)

• tea tree oil as a spot treatment (if you have sensitive skin dont use it)

•^ if you have smelly feet, combine tea tree oil with shea butter and coat your feet at night

• have a “me” day (have a diy spa, go out shopping, reread your favorite book, go to the beach… do something that makes you happy and relaxed at least twice a week)

• i always do a wall sit while i brush my teeth

• always floss. please.

• for teeth whitening i use baking soda but it makes my gums very sensitive (charcoal and the coconut oil pulling method didnt work for me, but everyones different so give it a try)

• throw out your scale

• you don’t have to keep your nails painted 24/7 but atleast keep them trimmed so that they look even and clean

• i have a boob routine and a butt routine (comment or ask if you want a separate post on them)

• eat a lot of fruit

• cut out toxic people (this ones for your emotional health. your emotional health is just as important as your physical one)

• have a pussy pouch (my pussy pouch is a bag with all my essentials for when im on my period, agaain if you want a separate post, let me know)

• if you have really bad acne, chance your pillow case every 2-3 days

• love yourself

~~~

let me know if y’all want a part 2 💗

Hey babe what are some things that you think would be a good investment when improving your lifestyle?

- Healthy foods and kitchen essentials: I bought a huge NutriBullet kit on sale the other day for $99 and it was one of the best investments I’ve made. It incentivises me to make green smoothies in the morning with ingredients that make my skin clearer, energy better, etc. I recommend investing in obviously fruits and vegetables on the regular, but also things like vitamins, super greens powder, protein powder, white tea and green tea, a portable thermos to drink tea anywhere at any time (I have a cute one from Lululemon), rolled oats, bamboo straws, maca powder, raw cocoa, and then of course nutritious groceries. I like buying sourdough bread, avocado, lemon, feta cheese, eggs, chicken, jasmine rice and fruit regularly.

- invest in your HAIR. It’s worth spending several hundred dollars a year on an excellent cut and colour. If you can afford it, get regular blow dries, but I choose not to (I definitely will when budget allows for it comfortably). Please don’t dye your hair at home lol. Getting your hair done at a good salon makes it look expensive. Get a treatment too if you need one. Ultimately, the right investments in your hair should make it look more expensive, and make it more LOW maintenance on a daily basis. It’s also worth investing in an excellent hairbrush (I use the Aveda wooden paddle brush which was around $60 or so), and hair oil (Moroccanoil argan oil is the best I’ve found and used, it’s about $70-80 if I remember correctly, def worth it). These two products make your daily routine more seamless and effective and give you long term healthier, shinier hair.

- Gym or fitness membership: I pay $25 for a membership at a studio in the city which includes unlimited Pilates, barre, yoga and HIIT classes. I don’t enjoy traditional gym anymore so I found something that works for me, and is only 10 mins from my house. This is seriously a non negotiable, even if you have no fitness goals or aesthetic goals for your body, having a fitness routine adds an element of structure and wellbeing to your daily life. It enriches it with community, and improved health benefits. If you’re trying to lose weight or tone up, definitely a must. Keep searching until you find the perfect place, and secure that membership.

- An everyday tote bag: personally I don’t carry a handbag in my day to day life generally. An ordinary day in my life would include a balance of work, gym and university, so I need a lot of space in my bag for a change of clothes, makeup bag, books, laptop, hairbrush, food, water bottle, wallet etc. I carry the ‘Deluxe Gum Bag’ from Lorna Jane which is THE MOST AMAZING bag ever. It’s insanely sturdy and carries SO MUCH. It’s also super chic and stylish. This bag is literally my life lol, it’s been with me through thick and thin 😂 if I’m only going to work or uni or running errands, I’ll just carry a canvas tote bag, like my New Yorker tote. Something lightweight and chic. So, investing in the right everyday bag(s) is life changing.

- Makeup: I use the same 5 makeup products everyday. All high end and all very reliable/high quality. They’ve lasted me ages and definitely given me a bang for their buck. I recommend investing in a good tinted moisturiser (don’t recommend foundation), bronzer, powder, eyeliner, mascara, lipliner, eyeshadow palette and eyebrow pencil. My approach to makeup has been more ‘quality over quantity’. I probably buy a new piece of makeup once a year. When you buy high end products, you don’t need to replace them so frequently. I recently purged my collection and now only have a moderate amount of high end products I would realistically use. The brands I recommend are NARS, Laura Mercier, MAC, Charlotte Tilbury, Benefit, Too Faced, Chanel, Hourglass, Tarte, Dior and It Cosmetics.

- High quality bedding: when I moved into my new place I spent $600 on top notch bedding with zero qualms. Do NOT underestimate the importance of quality, linen or cotton bedding. I went to the Sheridan outlet and bought cotton quilt, bedsheets, towels, mattress protector, pillows and pillowcases, and quilt cover. Cotton bedding is breathable and soft on your skin, prevents nasty bedbugs and illnesses they transmit, and drastically improves your quality of sleep and life overall. Polyester cheap bedding will over time destroy your skin and leave you prone to bedbugs and difficult sleep! It was SUCH a good investment and now I sleep like a baby every night.

- Silk pillowcase: I purchased the Slip silk pillowcase and ever since I’ve seen improvements in my hair and skin. Both are smoother and softer. Other pillowcases can truly wreak havoc on your hair and cause wrinkles over time. Plus it feels so luxurious and incredible to wake up on silk every morning!

- Educational subscriptions: I’m subscribed to the New York Times, the New Yorker, and Medium. These add immense value to my daily life. On the bus or train I can open the app and educate myself endlessly on a huge variety of topics and disciplines. Buying the right subscriptions enriches your life with cultural and social awareness, a better vocabulary, a stronger ability to communicate with all types of people on a variety of topics, and exposure to eloquent, articulate verbal communication.

- Quality tech to enhance your learning: for me, this meant investing in AirPods to listen to podcasts all day long, anywhere I am. My Apple Watch also helps me keep track of my physical activity and amplify/monitor it on a daily basis. The right tech accessories can seriously level up your daily life and learning. I recommend investing in a Kindle, good headphones/AirPods, MacBook, Fitbit etc. having one or more of these staples helps make your learning more seamless, motivating and convenient.

Hope this list helps! There a probably a lot more (like quality shoes, books, hair extensions etc) but these are the essentials I think are worth the investment for maximised daily usefulness and value to my routine.

notes to self *new information edition*

🌼 Human life is filled with its little miseries. The little irritations of human life. I don't know the exact translation, but Van Gogh, in his letters to his brother, kept saying 'misères de la vie humain'. And he said it as such a factual thing. Like 'oh, that's just the little miseries of our human life. What are yours lately?'

It left me so stunned. That sort of acceptance? It's golden. Currently my misères de la vie humain are job hunting and not thinking about how the world is increasingly becoming dystopic.

🌼 This desire for slow, mindful living, the rejection of a fast-paced hustle culture driven life where we glorify being burned out and busy all the time - it's not stupid. Read this passage by the writer Jeff Brown where he speaks about when we are not centered, it's easy to be manipulated and targeted by others including capitalism. To force yourself to align your goals with those of others. Because you don't know your authentic self. You don't know what you want.

But you have to focus on noticing everything - from your breath, to your body, to your inner self. And you have to centre yourself. He says it may be counter intuitive but actually the slower you move, the faster you will return home. And that just validated what I've known and felt all along.

🌼 Saw this reel on Instagram that revealed the best advice for overthinkers. It said, when you're overthinking: write. When you're underthinking: read. When you're confused: do both.

How has something so simple yet profound not found its way to me before? I hated the word overthinker because as a teenager everyone used that against me. But then one day this random girl from my class said it's not that you overthink, it's just that your standard level of thinking is already so high from the others that to them it's beyond their normal processing capacity. I wish she is doing well right now.

🌼 Hearing some hypocritical people talk about boundaries in their distorted victim blaming narrative, I realized that bro you need to communicate a boundary when you want to set it. Like if you've known someone for 10 years and suddenly you want to change something about your relationship and you decide to set a boundary that demands that change - then you can't just set it in your mind and not communicate it to the other person. And you certainly cannot get mad when they cross a boundary they didn't even know exists now suddenly.

People are increasingly misusing popular narratives surrounding mental health and well being to justify their shitty behaviour. And it's just fucked up.

🌼 To end on a lighter note, I just learned tonight how to say 'my hobby is reading' in Korean and it makes me very happy. I can finally understand sentence formation and structure better and am confident to carry on.

quotes that help me survive:

“You are not lost. You are here. Stop abandoning yourself. Stop repeating this myth about love and success that will land in your lap or evade you forever. Build a humble, flawed life from the rubble, and cherish that. There is nothing more glorious on the face of the earth than someone who refuses to give up, who refuses to give in to their most self-hating, discouraged, disillusioned self, and instead learns, slowly and painfully, how to relish the feeling of building a hut in middle of the suffocating dust.” — Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly

this tumblr text post:

“To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.” — Mary Oliver

From an interview with Kazu Makino:

Instructions On Not Giving Up, Ada Limon:

And this poster by Yumi Sakugawa

“You have to believe, in your heart, that even if you don’t work hard and exercise and think positive thoughts and make new friends and march triumphantly into the future, you are still enough. You will always have bad days. Being broken doesn’t make you a loser. You can crumble, and you will still be enough. Make that your religion moving forward. You are here to feel this moment. You are not here to become someone better. You are not here to impress or compete. You are not here to prove yourself. You are here to savor this life. Let down your guard. You are already enough. Believe it.” — Heather Havrilesky

“The first feminist gesture is to say: “Ok. They’re looking at me. But I’m looking at them.” The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but by how I see them.” -Agnès Varda

lyrics from the song Grow by The Oh Hellos:

“The world’s otherness is antidote to confusion, that standing within this otherness—the beauty and the mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books—can re-dignify the worst-stung heart.” — Mary Oliver

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you,and that you will work with these stories from your life--not someone else's life--water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I wish, I wish with all my heart that I could carry home in my back like a turtle.

Atleast that will give me the reason to avoid human interaction.

Develop your business first before building your house.

Proverbs 24

I’ll never regret someone that I had an amazing time and experience with. Even if we fall off. You made my life special at a certain time. We grew together, even if we grew apart. Thank you