Intangible - Madisen Kuhn

List of products and little tips that have made my skin (and my life) better🌸

(this turned out to be way longer than expected)

*the links show the brands i use but there are cheaper options you can find that work just as well

• tone with thayers witch hazel (rose petal)

• mix one part indian clay (bentonite clay) with two parts apple cider vinegar for the best face mask ever (your face will get a little reddish, but itll go away within 10-15 mins)

• always wear sunblock if you’re going out (even if its a rainy day)

• NEVER use products containing alcohol in your face

• rosehip oil and jojoba oil are really good for fading acne scars and getting rid of acne (they are cheaper dupes for ML miracle serum and Bahi cosmetics sunflower serum which are holy grail // if you do have the money to buy them, do so. but i prefer rosehip and jojoba which you can get at marshalls for like $6 each)

• at night, moisturize face and body with organic shea butter (i dont recommend using it for your face during daytime bc it’ll look too oily, but you do you)

• ^shea butter helps with the appearance of stretch marks (tbh i love my stretch marks, but if you want to fade them a little, mix a little bit of rosehip oil and shea and that should do the trick)

• stop consuming dairy products (once i did, my face cleared up completely.. diet/eating healthy has a huge impact on skin appearance)

• horsetail tea makes your hair look better

• i usually drink unsweetened tea two times a day. almost every tea helps with digestion in my opinion but matcha green tea is the best for digestion and weight loss. (my favorite is hibiscus tea but it has a unique taste so its not for everyone)

• if youre having trouble relaxing or sleeping, drink chamomile tea (again, i rarely add sugar or honey to my teas, but its an adquired taste)

• usually i dont eat before going to bed (at least 2 hours before)

• drink water (everybody says to drink water, but trust me, its the best tip)

• detox water is a god send if you dont like drinking plain water

• exercise 3-4 days a week at least (if you can’t/don’t want to do hardcore exercises just take a walk around the park. just dont be sedentary)

• i am not a breakfast person, so i usually make dairy free shakes (if you want the recipes comment or send me an ask)

• invest in a juicer and make your own natural juices (stop buying those pausterized shit juices that barely keep their nutrients / natural juices help with digestion)

• s t o p eating fast foods. just don’t.

• i exfoliate once a week, usually sundays, with a sugar/salt/coffee scrub depending on what my skin needs. the rest of the week i use a konjac sponge to cleanse my face

• try to change your deodorant to an aluminum free one (the one i used was discountinued.. when i find a good one ill link it here)

• buy a sleeping mask (idk why but i sleep better when i use it + i dont get eyebags)

• for hair mask i use olive oil or avocado oil (i rarely use it more than once every three weeks)

• dry feet? (at night, coat them with shea butter and put socks on) (i literally hate how disgusting it feels but its so worth it in the mornings)

• for hair growth people usually recommend biotin but for some reason everytime i take biotin pills i get really bad acne so id rather use castor oil on my scalp and eyebrows (many say to put it on your eyelashes and it probably works but i dont use it bc i dont want it to be that close to my eyeball but thats just me)

• always exfoliate before shaving your legs (i make my own scrub, again if you want the recipe just ask)

• i stopped drinking coffee (im not sure wether it had an impact on my skin, but i had a strong dependence and addiction to it so i just stopped)

• dont drink sodas or coke or sprite or whatever. stick to water and organic/natural juices.

• sometimes when i wash my hair, i add a serum before brushing it, and add perfume to my hairbrush before detangling. (i love doing this but my hair gets dry whenever i do. so i always do the serum but alternate the perfume thing)

• for the love of god. scrub your lips if you have them chapped and are going to use a matte lipstick. chapped lips + matte lipstick = repulsiveness at its finest

• i stay away from heating products. i rarely iron my hair more than two times a year. embrace your natural hair. or don’t. (its up to you, but if you do, do it bc YOU want to, not bc you think its what others will like)

• i always put on mascara. even if i dont use any more makeup. im a sucker for long eyelashes. (i use the lengthening mascara from 100% pure. i love love love it.)

• i always shower with hot water but i recently read that if you feel light headed after, its bc your blood pressure dropped. (idk i need to research, but showering with hot water relaxes the fuck out of me)

• sleep at least 8 hours

• i mentioned exercising before, but if you can, do so in the morning (i feel way more energized through out the day)

• eating healthier has helped with my menstrual cramps. honest to god, just eat cleaner, exercise and masturbate while on your period. (these are the only things that make me feel better on those days of the month)

• take nudes whenever youre feeling yourself. even if theyre just for you. (always boosts my self esteem)

• tea tree oil as a spot treatment (if you have sensitive skin dont use it)

•^ if you have smelly feet, combine tea tree oil with shea butter and coat your feet at night

• have a “me” day (have a diy spa, go out shopping, reread your favorite book, go to the beach… do something that makes you happy and relaxed at least twice a week)

• i always do a wall sit while i brush my teeth

• always floss. please.

• for teeth whitening i use baking soda but it makes my gums very sensitive (charcoal and the coconut oil pulling method didnt work for me, but everyones different so give it a try)

• throw out your scale

• you don’t have to keep your nails painted 24/7 but atleast keep them trimmed so that they look even and clean

• i have a boob routine and a butt routine (comment or ask if you want a separate post on them)

• eat a lot of fruit

• cut out toxic people (this ones for your emotional health. your emotional health is just as important as your physical one)

• have a pussy pouch (my pussy pouch is a bag with all my essentials for when im on my period, agaain if you want a separate post, let me know)

• if you have really bad acne, chance your pillow case every 2-3 days

• love yourself

~~~

let me know if y’all want a part 2 💗

If your gift is serving, then serve. If it is teaching, then teach. Is it encouraging others? Then encourage them. Is it giving to others? Then give freely. Is it being a leader? Then work hard at it. Is it showing mercy? Then do it cheerfully.

Romans 12:7-8 NIRV

Things You Don't Comment On:

- someone’s eating habits

- appearance issues that can’t be fixed there and then

- someone else’s “bad” decision if it can’t now be undone

- someone’s laugh or voice

- someone’s “unrealistic” dreams

- someone “not looking their best” in photos

- someone not wanting to do something and trying to subtly avoid it without making a fuss

- anything that you know will make someone self conscious or insecure unnecessarily

Photo Credit: @thiu_thiubo

We tend to show the parts

of our life that we find beautiful

Its human nature

to find joy in them

and console our frail bodies

that everything is okay

But I wish we could show each other

our tears, pain and regret

through a liquid crystal display

Then maybe we would be

a little conscious and kind

of the words we choose

to bring to life.

- 🍀

i hated - hated - my 7th grade english teacher, but he did say something that has stuck with me this whole time: the actual mark of maturity in someone is whether they take responsibility.

over time, this has become something i find to apply to too-many things. this weighty, complicated thing - responsible. almost direct from the latin respondere - the verb for "to answer to".

taking responsibility is not just "being in control of". it also means being gentle. being able to apologize. being able to accept fault. to notice your own actions and change them to be better. it is not just saying "ah fuck i dropped the plate," it is saying "okay, i'll go get the broom."

at 16, when her parents tell her i put a roof over your head, she spends that night curled in my lap, sobbing, trying to articulate something too-heavy-for-words - that they think responsibility is just about obligation; that she is bound to them because they are responsible for her. that she feels, over and over, responsible for their emotions. that she spends hours cartwheeling over eggshells, feeling the drip of their expectations slowly sushing down her body.

according to my mom, responsibility and privilege are partners. this is probably true. a car (privilege) is a weapon if used (responsibility) incorrectly. my dog is my responsibility, and he brings me the privilege of hours spent in sunshine. there are, though, a lot of times people are given one without the other - the privilege, and no responsibility for their actions. the responsibility, and nothing but hours of obligation, over-and-over. i have also learned: there is a difference between fault and responsibility. this will be important for you at some point, if you are watching.

at 21, when i am begging him again to just listen, i am asking him to take responsibility for the span of our relationship. for the ways he has shoved thorns into every part of my body. i come across as needy, because it is my job to be responsible for the relationship - somehow, he has escaped that. it is always my job to ask for help. to beg for him to just put in any-ounce-of-more.

how easily responsibility becomes assumed. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to take care of dinner. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to get groceries, to clean the house, to mealplan, to do laundry. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to wear smart clothing. it is the responsibility of the [ ] to blend in with the rest of society.

at 25, it is happening again. this is a different man in a different city, and the responsibility is one that is demanded of me. he tells me he will skip off the world and into the darkness if i break his heart, no matter how much he breaks mine. i am back to begging - get help, get better, i cannot lift you if you do not try to stand with me. i am also responsible for myself - and then, suddenly, responsible for the entire life of somebody. i remember sitting there asking him - when will it be your turn to do the carrying? and the way he wrinkled his nose at me. i would laugh-cry: i feel like i'm your mother and he would start gagging. nothing would change. still running after him, making sure he washed his clothes and took care of himself and made those appointments and did anything. my own health was suffering.

a lot of discussion about consequence is really a discussion of responsibility. i am an internet poet. i made a little hellsite my unfortunately-unpaid home. i believe, in my heart of hearts - make what you want, but be responsible for it. whenever we make things, we are bound to them, end of story. this is a real-life thing. watch who in your life hates having responsibility. watch the way they expect other people to have responsibility. this sense they have: that responsibility is punishment, is unfair to unload on them. that someone else should do the carrying.

i am 26 at the start of 2020. we all know what happens then. the average person is asked to take responsibility. for many, this is second-nature. simple. occasionally annoying, but eventually habitual. for many others, though, this is their great and honest reckoning. they misunderstand civil liberty to mean - a land where everything, always, is just-about-me. on a personal level, when i am not absolutely livid about this population, i am sort-of sad for them. one of the good things about responsibility is that it builds community. each of these people, one at a time, has been making the same statement: i am alone in this world. i am blisteringly, horribly lonely.

i have noticed, over time - the way that responsibility is borne. how careful i have to be as a queer cuban writer. how careful some asshole on twitter is-not-careful-at-all. knowing that if i am too-loud. abrasive, unflattering: i could make my whole community responsible for my behavior. that people would read my work and say - see! this is why there aren't that many of these types of writers. that others can make bigger, bolder mistakes - but it will just be their mistake to make; their-singular-responsibility. that what i am "careful" about is making my posts well-researched, thought-out, accessible, funny. that what others are rabidly angry about being careful about - that they would suddenly become responsible for bigotry. this horrible sense: you have no idea what it means to be forced to bear this weight, and you find it terrifying.

i have been responsible for a long time. laughing, i tell my therapist eldest daughter, middle child syndrome. i was a latchkey kid. i was the first one home and had to be sure i got the fire lit or there wasn't heat. written like that, it sounds like something from charles dickens: alone, shivering in a house that isn't home, feeding tinder to the back of the wood stove. i have been a delight to have in class. i was always charmingly responsible. i have had-to-be. there was no other option.

burnout is high, i'm told. over and over, the media paints people like me as being responsible for how we are treated. they will say it's not your fault, but we all know they think it is my responsibility. people are violent to me; it is my responsibility to be a more properly-trained minority. my boss is cruel; it's my responsibility to find a new job or just go hungry. it is not the responsibility of others to help me figure out my medical debt, i should try asking more questions at the pharmacy. it is not the responsibility of public schools to help students get an education - it is the responsibility of 17-year-olds to sign into a lifetime of debt. it is not the responsibility of the government to protect my right to choose; it's my responsibility to simply not get into any situation that might require me having an opinion. it's satisfying to watch the general, quiet strike of minimum-wage workers: the way others, confused, are demanding the same question - why aren't other people taking responsibility for the things i don't want to do myself?

the other day, i saw a post from someone who hurt me. it was sort of embarrassingly on-the-nose. he's kissing someone new now (god protect her). under the two of them smiling, the caption reads: thank you to this responsible, beautiful queen for constantly taking care of me.

now be honest. answer the following. fill in the blanks. bring your truth to your throat and keep her. 1. in general, it is normal for a [ ] to have more responsibility than a [ ]. 2. you are responsible for [ ]. 3. when you tell [ ] to take responsibility, they will say [ ]. 4. in your life, it is normal for [ ] to take responsibility. 5. when did that start? 6. and how is it going?

I'm not the friend who would click pictures.

I'm the friend who would ask you to send the pictures later.

[28/05/13]

are your excuses more important than your dreams?

need to get more motivation for mid-yearlies from somewhere

Me every single night:

Red Cantonese bear dog

(via)

bellalovecoach ~ Instagram