It Is A Pixel Angel. Oooooooooooooooooooof

Swaddled and sleeved in water, I dive to the rocky bottom and rise as the first drops of sky find the ocean. The waters above meet the waters below, the sweet and the salt, and I’m swimming back to the beginning. The forecasts were wrong. Half the sky is dark but it keeps changing. Half the stories I used to believe are false. Thank God I’ve got the good sense at last not to come in out of the rain. The waves open to take in the rain, and sunlight falls from the clouds onto the face of the deep as it did on the first day before the dividing began.

Ryujin

because i followed this course instead of my university

i managed a good job. hehe.

my minion hab made these flags for the goats.

I guess the revolution isnt happening after all. I wont lie, we (my goat wife & i) were looking forward to this. Especially her. I dont much care for technicalities. To me, we are as married as 2 goats can be. But as fate would have it, same sex marriage isnt yet legal in my country. Neither is adoption by same sex couples. But with the anger of the people, she thought #theysilencedyou could snowball into a real movement. That we might be able to wed one day, as other goats do.

You see, we become complicit in our anger. Caught up in the mundane intricacies of life, she in her job & I in mine. We forget how much has been taken from us. How much is being kept from us still. Our anger has to take a backseat for us 2 live our lives as normal goats.

But when something happens, no matter how small, to remind us of what we're missing, the anger wakes up again, like it did because of CW's censorship & queerbaiting. And in that anger is a spark that goats like me & my wife will cling to. Maybe the spark will light a fire, we think. Maybe this is the day it'll all burn down. Maybe now things will change. Maybe this time we'll be set free.

But it dies down. Like this is dying down. You'll forget your anger & we'll forget ours. & I'm the one that'll have 2 ask my wife to put her molotov cocktails away (she makes them with such dexterity). I was hoping to never have to do that again. For once, I wanted to see her set fire to the streets. She loves burning things. Carries a lighter in her pocket & smiles at the flames. & you should see her when she smiles, people. You should see her when she smiles.

But I'll do it a million times more (& I know she will, too) if it means we get to feel that hope again.

We don't regret the hope. Thank you for the hope.

why lamp

the mark of cain inevitably does what it does, and dean with anger issues throws things(on a spree), but pauses after throwing the lamp, and then there’s  the bloody sequence, where he kills people(on a spree), but stops after throwing cas( for a second, then there’s more throwing, but no killing, because cas can listen to dean and dean can listen to cas, even when possessed, gay love pierces through mind control and saves the day<3)

Cas is often forgotten, like the lamps  in the room, but whenever time comes, they pray to cas( switch on lamp). And cas, gives dean hope, like a lamp.

Darkness is alluring, but Cas is like the lamp, light on the end of the tunnel, distracting dean from freakin AMARA( and she KNOWS)

Then there is the lamp, filling in the half of the bed, when cas would have been there, but he's most probably hiding from the angel army, which he gave up for dean. It's watching over Dean, just like Cas said he would. ANd Dean is listening to a mixtape( i guess there's more than one mixtape he's made for cas, but couldn't give it to him). So cas is here as a lamp when he can't be, and Dean is thinking of cas, with the songs he couldn't share with him.

Then there's the dance. Which is pretty much in character for us the audience, but obviously not the kind of Dean that Dean projects himself as. It's unrepressed, and even his clothing isn’t overtly butch (well its always a mix-match with a leather jacket and the samulet , long sleeves but men's jeans...), but here it's a white jacket and black trousers, worn with grace.

this is where not only cas is lamp, but dean loves lamp=cas is innuendoed. THe dream goes in stages, like the character arc and He enters the stage hesitant    He enjoys and lets loose into experimenting with Garth, who knows Dean is a softie and doesn't care otherwise anyway.    He grows comfortable.    He then chooses to perform with the lamp, a male-coded partner. and then at the end of the episode, sam and dean watch garth slow dancing with his wife. perfect parallel, and dean says out loud, “i always thought i could be a good dancer if i wanted to be.” {dean yearns for a ballroom, i.e.romantic partner, and for a long time around this point in th timeline, the eye stares and moment's and quarells and memories and all thought trails in dean's pov are cas cas cas, so that's that.}

deeper readings: the lamp dance was, as much dean romance as possible, it was classy(like rock), and ambigous or covered up( chick - flick - moment - but - very - cloacked : dean^tm) . It also is a call-out to him embracing his true feelings in his dream, and as we also know, cas has access to his dreams(cough -cough), Also, he's dancing to a song about "misbehaving", and it's all romantic, so the innuendo is clear.

But details! The lamp shines in the corner of the bunker, like corners cas often stands in, (almost always ), and dean approaches cas, sorry this lamp, like the lamp that was once filling the half of his bed, He pulls the lamp out of where it had been tucked away, and looks over the lamp from all angles, much like looking over cas whenever cas comes back.

Bonus point- dance paces up in the end, like dean's love and calls to cas become haphazard and more frequent and involuntary in s15.

And voila- the he blows the lamp a kiss in the end. summing up this moment:

a tiny spot the difference:

and finally here's mothDean and lampCas. because if 15X20, then why lamp?

what is it even called... cymatics i suPpOse

these are random medicines and capsules and small stones dancing to bass. so guess what medicine’s not the evil huh?

also i have 100% confirmed by this that they “feel” music, and so silicon is the other life thing.

if throwing pebles and puddles and making pawed animals trip over is not sibling energy, then why 4?

@dreamnovak​ :( i abosolutely on point, but ur blog has beautiful gif-set studies and i think they say a lot, plus the softest one liner cas appreciations make me melt.

randomly gonna attach castiel’s theme (actually the whole destiel theme, that is the cas’s theme melting into destiel overlay and ending in dean’s theme that plays during the confession scene poetically)

credit to Skyler Williams

ps-plz reblog with castiel studies. :(((

i scanned your beautiful cas tag, but i still can't find any meta analysis posts of castiel's character, the sheer majesty and depth of the precious character are so much, but i couldn't find much on tumblr abt cas's psyche and arc in words. like there's a lot of wonderful dean character studies( because ze is beautiful and deserves it. ) , and they're lovely, i want some cas ones too.

hello!! honestly yeah i agree with you :( every time i try to talk about cas it dissolves into me just rambling incoherently because he’s so big and it’s incomprehensible!!! I’ve said this before but I don’t even think the show understood what they were getting into? They just casually offhand mention that cas is almost 400 million years old. And then casually mention his true form is giant. And then also, later on, they suddenly make him a member of an endangered species (a species who consider themselves a family) and they just......gloss over the potential emotional impact of that

like I can’t even THINK about it all at once, let alone write about it (although I’ve tried to explore his psyche a lil more in fic, it’s just...so hard to be comprehensive)

i know you said you went through my cas tag so idk if anything on my blog will help but if anyone else has excellent cas analysis they wanna drop in the replies pls do 

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

Sam, holding a gun to his/their wife's head: tell me the name of our son without looking at his overalls you blurry piece of shit

His wife: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

Sam cocking the gun, tears streaming down his/their face: I'M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

me.

people can hate doom scrolling and yes yes sense. go wiggle your toes. clouds and sunshine are nice. rolling in grass and hoarding pebbles seems is joyful and these papers need to be folded or scribbled over. numbers and words are very productive i see. 

but ,honestly the internet is so beautiful. its good to delve deep. find those oyesters.

goto go make origami for my rocks to look at.

In geometry, the rhombicosidodecahedron, is an Archimedean solid, one of thirteen convex isogonal nonprismatic solids constructed of two or more types of regular polygon faces. It has 20 regular triangular faces, 30 square faces, 12 regular pentagonal faces, 60 vertices, and 120 edges.

Artist:@anthonyjamesstudio

Video:@dboonster