Dive into your creative stream
there’s a post in my queue about how to have productive arguments (with your parents, even)
and it got me thinking,
dealing with conflict, and talking to people who (perhaps by definition) disagree with you ... is so so hard and so scary
but / and
it gets so much more ... doable, after you’ve had a few successful experiences.
or even observed someone else succeed in standing up for themselves a few times
it becomes conceivable.
and (this is a thing I’m not sure I can put into words)
realizing, even after the fact, even in a very limited way, that you can make things happen
or that you can change things
or that you can take something that has been a looming, oppressive, guilt-ridden Problem in your Life, and turn it into something that is resolved and stable and no longer a source of stress every day
....... is super empowering. (because! literally! you have power! wow, wait, for real.)
so. yes. just putting this out there:
other ways to experience conflict exist
and, even if you never become fully comfortable disagreeing (or confronting or arguing) with someone,
the way that it currently feels to you (overwhelming, terrifying, surrender-inducing)
is not necessarily the way that it will always feel.
(because, we learn! we grow! and new people teach us new things: new relationships, new ways of being, & of feeling.)
things that are hard, are sometimes still worth doing.
because sometimes you can actually influence what happens ... and not be forced to simply tolerate & adapt to how Everyone Else decides it should be.
it is OK to have opinions! and disagree! it is OK to want things. it is OK to show up, and be visible.
even if in the past, you have learned otherwise, I just want to say:
this is your life, and you are allowed to exist in it.
Listen, all you folks out there with AvPD: you’re amazing.
Every day, against all odds, you show up on my dash.
You live in a world that has taught you to feel unwanted, defective, unseen. But you keep on existing anyway.
You’re all warriors. And you are beautifully fierce.
Don’t listen to the voices – those around you, or within you – that say you’re weak or incapable. You aren’t. Because every single day, you are here, fighting and winning. Even in the moments that feel empty and unnameable, you are learning and growing and gathering strength.
I see you collecting these little things that feed your soul. Assembling the tools you need, for the hard work of staying alive and being well.
You are astonishing, and brave, and powerful. Someday, you’ll carve out a life where you can finally become yourself.
You are real. You matter. And you’re not alone.