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Lonliness - Blog Posts
rambling on and on about different topics i care about in a desperate attempt to be understood only to feel more alienated in the aftermath
NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT GOOD ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUG NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH NOT STRONG ENOUGH ...............................RAGE
Every so often, I get slightly tiered if asking people if they are okay, I want to help people I do, but at some point, it becomes sort of draining if the other person never bothered to ask back. Sometimes, being caring can be rather lonely because when the people you know constantly give something wrong but never ask about you, then it can get rather isolated. Although I'm slightly contradicting myself as I can't accept help because I don't want to bother people with my problems, at the same time I at least want to be asked yk?[Not my art]
What better way to celebrate the anniversary of Michael’s death than by getting absolutely knackered?
La felicidad es una visita, la depresión es el hogar
—¿Qué harías si tuvieras una enfermedad terminal? —La vida es una enfermedad terminal.
Me encanta cuando los psicólogos me dicen ``si quieres curarte necesitas cambiar tu actitud`` porque, woooow!!! no lo sabia, ¡son tan sabios!
No me gusta vivir; así que me suicido lentamente porque quizá encuentre cosas buenas en ese transcurso.
Capítulo VI
Aceptar que lo mismo que me hace bien también me está destruyendo, tú.
Capítulo V
Sigo deseando tanto que tú pudieras ser mi ´´para siempre´´ más largo de mi vida.
Capítulo IV
Me ignoraste una vez y con eso fue suficiente para entender que podías vivir sin mí.
``Dark Paradise`` \\\ Lana Del Rey👌👌👌 El soundtrack de toda mi puta existencia. FIN.
No te importo en realidad, entonces por favor no finjas como sí te interesara mi vida.
Rulo
Capítulo II
Los sentimientos de confianza se destruyen por una estupidez.
RULO♡
Que tenga sentido del humor no significa que sea alegre. Que sonría no significa que esté feliz. Que no llore no significa que no esté mal. Que me crea superior no significa que no me sienta poca cosa. No tengo ganas de vivir sólo por estar viviendo. No me amo pero amo a otros. Cada que me maltrato siento que maltrato más a los demás. Que me burle de mi realidad no significa que no la sufra, ¿Qué más da? Si siempre me estoy quejando de todas formas. Si sé en lo que estoy metido y no quiero salir. Mejor sonrío porque me canso de llorar. Mejor me quedo callado porque pierdo mi tiempo y el tuyo contándote mis problemas. No quiero estar ni solo ni con nadie. La gente con problemas trae problemas a los demás. No te convengo. La ayuda me estorba porque no me deja destruirme en paz. Y yo me acostumbré tanto a destruirme, que se volvió parte de mí. Si no arruino mi vida, no soy yo. Vivo destruyendo mi vida. Quizá algún día me arrepienta, pero hoy no siento nada. Y entre más es tu afán de sacarme, más me hundes…
Deshago. Amigos.
Me gustaría pedir consejos, pero sucede que todos pensarían mal de mí si les contara mis verdaderos asuntos y eso no me ayudaría en nada. Pero al final no tiene sentido desahogarte, las cosas siguen igual y uno hace lo que se le da la gana hacer a pesar de los consejos que te den. Conclusión: Pero para qué me quejo de estar solo si de todas maneras no quiero estar con nadie; sólo vale la pena confiar en quienes quieres y te quieren y a veces es eso lo que te hace no hablar porque no los quieres molestar.
Was just thinking about this today. I was a lonely teen but now in my early twenties I have a bunch of good friends who check on me when I go reclusive. I can never get used to it, they love me no matter how hard I might try to push them away. They want o be there for me when I am going through things. Its always difficult for me to comprehend that they are all here because of their own choice and not bound by any duty or obligation. And that will always be difficult for me to wrap my head around......
when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever
Sometimes I feel so alone I wonder if there was truly a time when someone was here with me
"loneliness was a fundamental part of being a human in an essentially meaningless universe"
Matt Haig , The midnight library
I don't need things to be perfect. I just need someone to pretend things are perfect with me for a bit.
society abandoned me. People don't even know I exist. People literally ignore me when I talk to them. Quite literally pretending I'm not there. It's literal torture. I'm seriously considering forcefully kicking the bucket early because of it.
The feeling of warmth.
That's what I felt around him.
Everytime he looked, smiled, and talked to me.
Something that I cherished with all my heart.
But not now.
Not anymore.
It's a cold feeling.
That piercing.
Sharp.
pain of cold.
That's what I feel about him now.
Everytime he looks, smiles, and talks to her.
Leaving my unloved bitterly cold heart beating with such dreadful sounds.
But still.
I can feel it.
That warmth.
The warmth that I cherish so much.
unfreezing my icy cold heart to be engulfed by it.
But it can't be the same.
Not anymore.
It will not.
For now and always my heart will have a sharp pain of cold that shouldn't be there.
But has to be.
Abyss pt. 1
Heyo
This is my 1st prose poem in awhile, so hope y’all enjoy
Life happens
Worlds are born in fire and light
Forests sprout up from the fertile soil
Fires tearing apart the very molecules that bind
But despite it all
People laugh, love, cry
Die
Their emotions, their movements
shake the universe to its core
How I wish I could be a part of that