Moon Yaps - Blog Posts

Yk what, it's rather disrespectful that we can't regenerate, but especially people who can give birth.

You're telling me. That I have the ability to grow a WHOLE MF HUMAN WITHIN ME. Grow A FUCKING BRAIN, BONES AND ORGANS.

But I CAN'T choose to go to a hospital, let a doctor pop my eyeballs like balloons, wait a few months, and they grow back, thus allowing me WHOLE NEW EYES, that are NOT going to give me fuckass vision???????????????

Fuck off.

What the fuck.

I AM TIRED OF THIS SHIT MAN EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING BLURRY ALL THE MF TIME AND I HAVE KERATOCONUS SO GLASSES DON'T DO SHIT AND MY EYES ARE ALWAYS TOO FUCKING IRRITATED TO USE THE CONTACTS RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

So a lot of us use our notes app like little diaries right? Right. So. I'm bored, so I was scrolling thru mine, and I see this that I wrote back in December 2022, and to this day it still haunts me occasionally, and I need to get it off my chest.

I've decided to share this trauma bc I refuse to go thru this alone in silence.

So.

Public transportation is the worst.

I'm with my younger sister, sat down in a small maxi (picture a mini bus ig?), at the very back. We cool. Two seats clear up closer to the front, so we moved, my sis by the window.

A man reaches his stop, so he exits the maxi.

He has to bend over a good bit to do so.

This man has apparently never heard of underwear.

Keep in mind I am in a SMALL MAXI.

I got a front row seat of this man's ass in my face.

And that's not the worst part.

Oh, no.

The worst part are the details because it's right in front of me and l was wearing my practically brand new contacts, so I saw everything in HD.

First of all, this is a black man so it's a black ass. Second, it was huge. I'm talking voluptuous. Third, it was hairy as all fuck. Why were there grey hairs scattered around and why were they at least an inch long.

I cried, I'm not doing to lie. I physically teared up. My eyes were stinging, tears pricking.

When I saw it I had my hands held to my chest like I'm clutching my pearls, leaning against my sister, frozen. I couldn't move for a good while even after he's gone and we'd driven off.

She laughed at me all the way to our destination.

I could hear people snickering in the back. These bitches were laughing while I'm developing PTSD.

Even now, occasionally, when I close my eyes, I can still see it and I want to throw up while crying.

Why me. What did I do. This could've very well been my villain origin story.

My only salvation in this is that I refused to leave the house without a mask on bc Covid so there's that I guess. 😃

Lol so I'm pretty sure my house is haunted or something bc the only other explanation is that our dog grew thumbs

So our dog, Luna, likes to hang out under my parents' bed, but we don't particularly like her going there, so we try to always keep the door closed, though it's sometimes futile bc if it's even barely cracked open, she'll be able to open it.

But tonight, my parents went out on their usual lil date thingy, and I was looking for something, and their room is one of the places I checked (my mom was the culprit just as I suspected, so yes I found my charger there), and as I was leaving, I MADE SURE to close back the door. I heard it close and click, I even tugged on it.

Now, the way the house is arranged, it's pretty small, so the living room is practically next door to the bedroom. I was in the living room when I heard the distinct sound of their door opening.

Assuming it was my lil sis going in, I got up to tell here to make sure to close back the door so Luna doesn't get in.

Though the door was opened a good crack, she was not there.

She was, in fact, in her room, on her bed, under the blankets on her phone in thee comfiest position that is not humanly possible within the time frame needed for this to be some sort of prank.

Also. She can't run silently for shit, she stomps, so I knew she wasn't the one to open it.

That left me with the only other options, bc no there was not anyone else in the house, I'm typing this out like an hour after and there's deadass no where to hide.

1. Luna is now somehow magically able to open doors now, despite the fact that she's barely 2 feet tall and the door is not a latch, but an actual doorknob.

2. There is an entity that apparently befriended Luna and willingly opened the door for her.

Now, despite the fact that we've seen Luna staring at nothingness and the void of corners a good few times, for my own sanity, I'm going with option 1.

Wish me luck 😃

One time my mother came up behind me from in the kitchen (I did not know she was anywhere near there, I thought she was in her bedroom) and peaked over my shoulder while I was reading thee nastiest shit, like, outrageously disgusting, there was incest involved, bc a friend sent it to me basically like "Yo read this shit, it's wild lol" and I'm nosy asf so I sat there full on reading this horror, gradually getting more and more concerned and horrified but couldn't stop bc it was like watching a trainwreck. So anyways, she snuck up on me while I was locked in on the horror and apparently she got to a point where the girlie said Daddy or something idk and she was like "MOON WHAT YOU READING?!" My phone damn near went airborne bc I jumped, and I was tryna explain myself like I'm going to jail, but she just held her hand out for the phone and I was like "no plz let me have my dignity" and she was like "no you're 13, you don't need to be reading things like that, give me your phone" and I apparently did not deserve dignity either, so she took the phone, stood there silently scrolling and reading random parts, read the title, I'm pretty sure it was something like "Just the Tip, Daddy", and I was shaking, and she was like "this the kinda shit you be reading?" Bc she knew I had wattpad but she never knew the kinds of things that went on there bc she assumed it was tame romances, and I was like "No mummy, I just found it while scrolling and I was curious so I clicked it, and then Idk why I couldn't stop, but I didn't actually like it!!" Bc I did not like it, the experience was fully like witnessing a murder, and I kept explaining this with tears in my eyes, and she was like "Mhmm....delete that shit and go study" and I was like "ok mummy" deleted wattpad in front of her, she said she's gonna be checking my phone regularly now, but then she forgot after like a week lol, she had shit to do

So anyway, that's when I learned how to hide apps on my phone, and sit with my back to a wall at all times now 😃

....And now I write smut 🤩

I just had a thought. An epiphany if you will.

So I saw a pic of Kuroo and Kenma from Haikyuu and I was slapped with the realization that they're what ShigaDabi would've been like if they grew up normally and went to school together.

Kenma & Shiggy with their games for starters, and Kuroo and Touya with their annoying but loveable best friend vibe

Do we see the vision??? Or am I just yapping?

@angelblueflame @isabeauwolf

I just had thee most delicious KFC Cruncher Sandwich

It was heavenly

It was the crunchiest Cruncher I've ever crunched.

Like, I've had it plenty of times, but this was downright divine.

10/10

I almost had mf aneurysm

I write on my phone, and I use wattpad to do it, bc it's just easy idk (I haven't even used it to read in years lol)

Tell me why this lil shit showed that I had NO DRAFTS when I have SIXTY!!

The majority of that is from my early teens and will never see the light of day, I just can't bring myself to delete them bUT I HAVE 8 MOSTLY COMPLETEDish, 7 IDEAS AND 1 IN PROGRESS ARE YOU SHITTING ME

The app itself was being fucky, I went to the website itself and they were all there

Like, sure, it's back now, but I was ready to send a complaint or sumn😭😭

"Hi, yes, gIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING PORN thx!!"

So I'm lowkey tweaking.

Now, as a preface, I love Aizawa. That man is foine.

So anyways, I'm clearing out some old pics from my phone because I haven't done this in far too long and I find some old pics........of my ex.

(When I say old pics, I mean that shit. We broke up in like, 2019. I still see him occasionally, whenever I go to our local anime convention but yeah. We'll come back to this one in a bit.)

ANYWAYS

I've always known he's hot, and I've always known that Aizawa is hot bUT I DID NOT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER OF WHY I WAS IMMEDIATELY ATTRACTED TO AIZAWA

WHY DO THEY LOOK SM ALIKE I'M GENUINELY DEVASTATED

The long, dark wavy hair, stubble in the same places, dark, sleepy eyes, eyebags, not seeming muscular under his baggy clothes, but is actually pretty defined........even their personalities and slightly sadistic tendencies.......I'm Going To Scream.

And my immediate thought was, wow, oh fuck, I really fumbled an irl Aizawa lookalike huh, but then my brain caught up like. Bitch?? He's an asshole who cheated on you??? Get a grip???? And I calmed down but still.

THE WASTE.

To realize that they look and act so much alike is DEVASTATING ‼

Now, onto The Worst Part. Remember when I said I still see him occasionally at the anime convention??

HE CUT HIS HAIR.

HE LOOKS LIKE TIME SKIP AIZAWA NOW TOO.

I CANNOT ESCAPE, SOMEONE PLEASE FREE ME FROM THIS TORMENT.

My only solace is that they don't sound alike. 😃

Like yeah, his voice was pretty deep but not Aizawa deep.

So yeah, I needed to rant. 🙂

They could never make me dislike Dabi or like Enji.

(TW‼ for s*xual assault/abuse, m*rder thoughts, small trauma dump)

There was a period of time where I genuinely considered doing something about my abuser, because I trusted him, I trusted both of them, but didn't because I wouldn't be able to get away with it and I'm simply not built for prison. And now, after all the help and therapy, I'm not actively feeling violent, but I will admit that I am eagerly waiting for them to pass.

My therapist told me that's normal and okay and I broke down because thank fuck, I'm not evil, just hurt and wanted justice where I knew I wouldn't get any.

Because to this day I genuinely do not feel safe, years later. Not while he's alive. Not while I never got justice and never will.

Dabi is truly such a comfort for me. I wish we never went through the things we did, especially not so young, not even a proper teen, and though they were different forms of abuse, though mine left no physical scars, just mental and emotional ones, he just makes me feel seen and not so alone.

I will defend that man to my last breath.

Dabi is AMAZING and RARE rep for abuse victims.

I'll say it once, twice, a million times. A lot of the time victims do want to hurt or even kill their abusers, being blinded by it and not caring who's hurt in the process, and that's something that's rarely acknowledged in media. More often than not we get character's who have been through therapy, they've made up and made peace with the people who hurt them, they're okay!! But we never get to see what happens when those people don't get the help they need, (well, sometimes we do, but usually we only get to see the madman that was formed by abuse, not the abuse itself. And it's even rarer that we get to see these characters cry or show empathy towards their own victims) which is why I think it's really important for it to be shown. Like, not as a warning, but more as a "yes, other victims think this way. You aren't supposed to be just fine after going through that. You need help, and that's fine."

I do see a lot of people think that abuse victims becoming killers/villains demonizes abuse victims and like,, I find that ridiculously stupid. If you go through heavy trauma, especially if it was inflicted by the people meant to love and take care of you, you will NOT be okay, no matter how okay you think you are, you're not. Victims often DO want to hurt people, they DO think about bad things and do bad things quite often, it's not normal but it's common. Hurt people hurt people sometimes!! It sucks, I know people hate to acknowledge it, but it's TRUE. You can claim that saying that demonizes victims, and maybe it does, but if you don't let people know that they're not alone, they won't even try to get help. And Dabi is a good representation of that no matter what you think. Throughout the show we see him express empathy through actions AND words on occasion (ex. Him crying, while saying he thinks about his victims very often)

Hurt people hurt people, but that doesn't mean they're not people. And Dabi shows that in a way that I haven't seen in any other character.

(I know I repeated myself a couple times but I am SOOO sick and tired. Like, as in, I am tired aswell as sick. Not as in I'm sick n tired of whatever)