This Is So.... - Blog Posts

Discovering heartbeat

can't feel it.

(during HL2VRAI, in which the AIs now know that Gordon is the player... but still dislike seeing him hurt)

BEGIN ID:

A grayscale HLVRAI comic. Gordon is crouched down next to Tommy at some point in time, Tommy is holding a medkit and is worried. Gordon has a cut on his knee. Gordon says: "I'm fine! I can't feel anything that happens in the game. Remember?" with a smile. Some time later, Gordon is firing at combine, stalkers, and manhacks in City 17. Bullets fly by him as he yells behind him: "Don't worry about me, I can't feel it! Just run!" Gordon is a little scuffed on his face. Some time later again, Gordon is bruised and bloodied with bullet marks on his HEV suit. He has a black eye and on the opposite cheek there is blood coming from a cut. His hair is messy. He waves his hand dismissively, smiling and saying: "D-don't worry, I can't feel it. Ah-haha!..." Bubby is behind him and looks slightly concerned. Suddenly Dr. Coomer hugs Gordon. Gordon frowns, lip trembling, as he sinks down to his knees while Dr. Coomer holds him. We then see the player in his real life gaming room, on his knees, holding nothing. He says: "I can't feel it..." he's shaking.

END ID:

NOT WHAT I SAID I WAS GONNA POST BUT-

ok story time actually

I've been busy all day since I got home (also very tired), and I hadn't even STEPPED into my room since I'd gotten home. About an hour ago I walked into my room, the rest of my family already said goodnight to me and went to their own rooms. It was just me and I was putting my stuff away and I looked up at me dresser and noticed something weird on it. When I go up to it I notice its definitely a plushie in a bag but I'm confused cause I didn't buy anything recently and I didn't recognize it. I picked it up and flipped it over to see its face and its BINGO from Bluey 😭

(this is what she looks like- she's so goofy PLEASEEE HADFHHA )

I'm guessing my parents bought it for me but they never mentioned anything about it to me at all, not even when I got home today.

This is kinda a big deal to me cause in the past (mainly my mom but my dad probably thought it too) my parents said a few times that they thought it was weird that I liked a "kids show".

Anytime that Bluey (the show) had been mentioned in anything though they would call me over to show me it or ask about it etc.

I think they bought this cause awhile ago I had been debating on buying a pillow pet of Bingo from a store at the mall (which I ended up not getting cause it was like $30 and I felt kinda childish for wanting it even though people like me WERE IN FACT THE TARGET AUDIENCE (for the plush I mean- not the show really-)).

Weirdly enough though, that was a few months ago that that happened. I dunno if they randomly remembered and decided to get this for me or what but I love her. (WHY IS SHE SO ROUND HELP MEE AFHJHAHFAHAHHAAHA)

This has the same energy as the ship art I occasionally see in those "countries as humans" comic strips 😭

my favourite area :]

Hejeh

how they text each other <3

here’s a gif of taylor lautner back flipping down the stage

it’s not the same without the rest of the family

CHANCE

pairing: lee felix x gn!reader

genre: fluff, f2l, highschool!au but not properly established

cw: they share a bed, not proof read and written in one sitting at 10:30pm °-°

wc: 1.7K

a/n: i can’t lie i do genuinely love this fic a lot, it’s silly and small but i think it’s sweet and he is too! please like and rb if you enjoy, feedback is very welcome and all is appreciated <3

Fatigue is a fatal thing. Clouding thoughts and forcing you into decisions you really should’ve thought more about—it seems so normal yet the danger that comes with it is sometimes inevitable. Like waking up with last night’s makeup on, or missing your stop on the bus because you just happened to rest your eyes.

Fatigue takes over your body on the night everyone is cuddled up in Felix’s living room. Friday night brings a buzzing atmosphere and the sky is an almost vibrant navy colour; the moon shines particularly brightly and it’s hard to resist sneaking a glance at it every five seconds. The boys are all focused on his game console (apparently it’s the newest one, you and Minho seem to be the only ones not that interested) and the sight is pleasant to see. Wrapped together in blankets, bowls of food both hot and cold scattered around for you to share. The sight of Jeongin’s face lighting up when he finally scores a point. The host looks around his living room with a smile on his face—everything is perfect, and he doesn’t even care that he has a test on Monday morning he needs to revise for.

In fact, he’s so totally enarmed in happiness that the only thing that brings him out of his trance is the feeling of a weight dropping on his shoulder. It wouldn’t have been a big deal hadn’t it been you, but of course, it is your hair that brushes softly against the skin of his neck before you quickly spring back up.

The suddenness of the movement catches his attention, and his head and body spin around to focus completely on you. Baby hairs messily frame your face and your eyes are slightly puffy and desperate to close there and then, but he can tell you’re forcing them open as you try and keep yourself awake. His heart pounds in his chest when you flash him a grin, and it’s irresistible not to send one back. He looks like an angel—the sun reincarnated—but he thinks you’re the prettiest person to walk the earth.

In fact, he’s so sure of his thoughts that it makes him sick. Sick in the way that he knows you are best friends, in fact, you were friends with Chan before you were ever friends with Felix, and sick in the way that he knows trying to change that dynamic could ruin everything.

Love is so delicate, and so cruel that he questions whether such a thing can exist, because surely if it did, it’d be much easier for him to wrap your exhausted form in his arms and lull you to sleep himself. Of course, it’s not as hard as it seems, but he doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know anything, and that’s what makes it such a scary thing.

Felix quickly snaps out of his thoughts and realises he was lost in his mind once again. Your body is slumped facing his, the right side of your face squished against the pillow of the sofa while you watch his face. Really, you’re not doing too much else, but the feeling of just being able to look at someone and feel immense comfort is an unexplainably lovely feeling in itself. You’d be quite happy to sit and exist with him like that for many moments longer, but as the blond pulls the blanket up to cover your shoulders, he leans in closer.

He doesn’t catch the way your breath hitches, but he certainly notices the way his own gut churns as he leans in.

“Do you need to go to bed? I’ll take you up to go early so you can get some rest.” He asks, whispering the offer in a way so kindly that you’re more focused on how dreamy he is than the fact he’s said the words you’ve been waiting on all night—you can finally rest, after what feels like a lifetime of trying to keep yourself awake. When a look of relief washes over your face and you gently nod at him, Felix decides it was worth the uncomfortable and intrusive butterflies. He’s never seen you look so pleased to accept an offer, but when you clumsily get up and stumble over your own feet, he knows how much you want to just sleep. He giggles, too: you look like a newborn puppy.

Telling the boys he’s taking you up, the blond wastes no time in jumping to your side. He doesn’t realise how he’s looking at you as though you’re his entire world, nor does he realise how his hand naturally snakes to the small of your back to give you soft comfort and support as you groggily drag your feet up the stairs.

He laughs when you cry about how you’re still wearing makeup, a little guilt creeping up his spine when you complain he’s “too mean” and that it’s a “serious thing”, but he knows he’ll take it off for you anyway. He doesn’t think he’d be able to sleep knowing he let you go to bed sad with stained eyes.

Every touch on your face is the most careful and light touch Felix has ever done. He’s so incredibly caring with the way he wipes at your eyes, one hand swiping the cotton pad while the other holds your jaw. The thoughts of how easy it would be to kiss you and how amazing it would feel to finally have your lips against are being brought to the front of his mind, and every time he shoves them back with pink ears and hot cheeks. However he doesn’t stop looking after you. His hands still wipe and caress your skin attentively and he still reaches for his moisturiser which he knows you adore the smell of (you let him know once, and now he puts it on every time he knows you’ll be somewhere).

Soon he’s practically carrying you into his bedroom. It shouldn’t make him as flustered as he is, but it’s weird to think that his arms are wrapped around you and pulling you close to his body as you walk into his bedroom. His parents aren’t even home—just his two sisters keeping the friend group company—but it still feels like he’s doing something he shouldn’t.

Those thoughts are easy to dismiss when you fall onto his mattress with a pleased sigh, the noise falling from your lips unconsciously and sending his mind reeling. You look so cute, quickly snuggling your way under the thick sheets and nuzzling your head into the pillows. Although you look comfortable enough, Felix feels almost inclined to tuck you in, his hands automatically reaching for the edges of the sheets that don’t quite cover your body and to the pillow that could be a little fluffier.

But he freezes. Your warm hand wraps around his wrist and his body goes still. “Stay with me.” You mumble, words hardly coherent but he hears them clear as day. You want him to stay with you and that could mean so many things but he’s only thinking of one, and soon he also thinks you can read his mind because you’re pulling the corner of the midnight quilt up and tapping the off-white sheets next to you.

Climbing under the covers is a natural response, he thinks. Felix thinks it’s even more natural for his arms to cradle your limp body after your own find his waist, cuddling into his body before going still. Along with the stillness of your body comes the shallow and steady breaths, and you’re asleep within minutes.

Perfect. He thinks everything is perfect and doesn’t care that someone will definitely come searching for him in an hour or so when they realise how long he’s been gone. Right now, all he can do is admire you, the curve of your nose and the dip of your cupid’s bow and every single detail that makes your face so loveable. He imagines the way you look when you first wake up in the morning, but gets shy when he imagines you waking up in his arms.

They’re all the scenarios from daydreams he has when he should be focusing on whatever the teacher is saying, but suddenly he realises they could become realities. He could wake up tomorrow and still have your arms wrapped weakly around his torso, feel your breath against his exposed chest and admire you as the golden sun leaks through the window. Still, he wouldn’t be able to kiss your lips and laugh when you ask him not to because you haven’t brushed your teeth yet. He can’t tickle you until you’re out of breath to wake you up and then end it with his head resting on top of your stomach, head tilted towards your face so he can watch the smile that paints it prettily.

There’s so much he wants to do and so much he can’t do and it’s driving him insane. Almost as though his hands are mere centimetres away from the thing he’s trying to grab, he’s never felt closer to having you than now. In fact, the situation you’re in would’ve been almost completely unreal to him just the day before, but now he’s got it and he doesn’t want to let go.

You manage to make him want to stay up until he physically cannot just so he can savour the feeling of being here with you. But fatigue has its ways, and spreads onto him like a contagious disease. He can feel his heart slow as his breathing matches yours, and his eyes start to shut before he even wants them to. Tomorrow, maybe he’ll make you breakfast and cook in the kitchen with you before anyone else is awake. Perhaps you’ll get up before him but stay still in his arms because you like it just as much as he does. There’s still a chance, and Felix decides to bet on it.

After all, he can’t confess to you in your sleep and expect you to reciprocate the feelings. Instead he settles for a kiss on the crown of your head, and one over your messy hair that he doesn’t care feels uncomfortable against his lips.

Having you here, right now, is better than having you never, he decides. The chance of getting you in the morning is better than the reality he’d face if he backs out of it all now and leaves you alone, empty in his bed. You’re worth taking the chance for, Felix thinks, and he’d happily bet on it again and again if it meant eventually, he could have you just like he wanted.

insufferable boyfriends for pride month yw

Thank goodness

I had an idea about younger mike and our current silver fox jay interacting somehow and it quickly spiraled out of control LOL//// lil mike would be overwhelmed to learn he n jay have been side by side for nearly 20 years im sure...

🐵👽📼✨in your eyes✨

I am unfortunately just like other guys. I like trashy horror, dog poems, cannibalism as a metaphor for obsessive devotion, religious imagery, people who use my name in a sentence, academic validation, lying for fun, being bisexual and bleeding out in the snow.

The Birth of Stede Bonnet, inspired by Sandro Botticelli & @deadofxnight

The fact that “Elon musk does two Nazi salutes” isn’t blowing up my push notifications is the best example I could possibly give of the media’s failure to do fucking anything

Bloodborne fan art by TripDancer

His Royal Highness the Crown Prince of Xianle and his most devoted believer the Ghost King Crimson Rain Sought Flower ❤️

ROBYN I WANNA GIVE YOU A MILLION KISSES FOR THIS MASTERPIECE

Corrupt Preacher!Rhett x reader

warnings: corruption kink, age gap (Rhett is in his late 30s, reader is of age, early 20s), power dynamic, religious themes, mentions of masturbation, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), p in v penetration, loss of virginity

a/n: pic credit to @h0neyfire ! If any of these themes make you uncomfortable you should not read, this is not written for you and that’s okay. Also I will never be writing smut again I feel so awkward <3 also this is a fully consensual scenario. Also thank you to my love @sebsxphia who listened to me ramble endlessly

“Romans 13:13, Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy.”

You sat on the edge of the bathtub, toying with the hem of your nightdress as the words of the evening’s sermon rang through your ears. Drowning out the sound of the motel highway and your heart hammering in your chest.

Your fingers threatened to creep further under your nightie as you thought about the way he preached. The fire, the passion, the authority. He had every person who lined the pews in the palm of his hand and he knew it.

He knew he had you kneeling at his feet too. All he’d have to do was ask.

Rhett was a man of God. And you’d never say it out loud in case God could hear you, but he was the godliest man you knew. But he gave you feelings. Feeling you knew you shouldn’t be having about your preacher, never mind as an unwed woman.

You opened the door and padded across the carpet meekly. Kneeling at his feet, knees just brushing the patent leather of his dress shoes, you looked up at him, hands clasped together, eyes wide, as if you were searching for salvation. Salvation only your crooked preacher could give you.

You had both talked about it before. You confessed your lustful thoughts, even though you were saving yourself for marriage; or so you planned. You found solace in Rhett’s arms, in the safety of the church. But that’s where you found yourself one too many times until it ended with you, legs spread on his desk saying your Hail Mary’s while his fingers worked their way in and out of you. It felt dirty. But the kind of dirty that gave you butterflies as you thought about him during sermons. The way he would gesture with fire in his voice. His slightly greying hair would fall over his forehead. The same hair your fingers ended up tugging on as he pressed soft kisses to your thighs and sucked on your clit until you didn’t have a voice left to pray with. It was your secret. You worried about the sin but he hushed you, he told you that “it’s not a sin if it’s a man of god, it’s a sign.” 

You had both talked about it before. You confessed your lustful thoughts, even though you were saving yourself for marriage; or so you planned. You found solace in Rhett’s arms, in the safety of the church. But that’s where you found yourself one too many times until it ended with you, legs spread on his desk saying your Hail Mary’s while his fingers worked their way in and out of you. It felt dirty. But the kind of dirty that gave you butterflies as you thought about him during sermons. The way he would gesture with fire in his voice. His slightly greying hair would fall over his forehead. The same hair your fingers ended up tugging on as he pressed soft kisses to your thighs and sucked on your clit until you didn’t have a voice left to pray with. It was your secret. You worried about the sin but he hushed you, he told you that “it’s not a sin if it’s a man of god, it’s a sign.” 

You had both talked about it before. You confessed your lustful thoughts, even though you were saving yourself for marriage; or so you planned. You found solace in Rhett’s arms, in the safety of the church. But that’s where you found yourself one too many times until it ended with you, legs spread on his desk saying your Hail Mary’s while his fingers worked their way in and out of you. It felt dirty. But the kind of dirty that gave you butterflies as you thought about him during sermons. The way he would gesture with fire in his voice. His slightly greying hair would fall over his forehead. The same hair your fingers ended up tugging on as he pressed soft kisses to your thighs and sucked on your clit until you didn’t have a voice left to pray with. It was your secret. You worried about the sin but he hushed you, he told you that “it’s not a sin if it’s a man of god, it’s a sign.” 

You sat up on your elbows watching him unbuckle his belt. “Will it hurt?” “Only for a little, but then it’ll feel so good, baby. You trust me don’t you? God would never steer us wrong.” You nodded as he slipped his thumb in your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. Like he was giving communion. His other hand freed him of his jeans and boxers as he kicked them across the room. You swallowed thickly when he removed his hand from your face and pumped his cock a few times. The tip red and already leaking, a smattering of light brown hair trailing down from his stomach, framing it almost.

“This wet already? And I haven’t even touched you yet” he smirked slipping his fingers in the waistband of your cotton panties, the fabric was clearly saturated and you felt your face flush red. “And have you been touching yourself like I showed you? Stretching yourself out for me?” You nodded meekly. “It… it doesn’t feel the same when I do it” “Don’t sulk, the Lord doesn’t like it when we’re ungrateful.”

You gasped as you felt his tip brush through your folds, teasing your hole before wetting your clit with his precum. “Please….” your voice broke as you begged him. What you were begging for was a sin. But you didn’t care. You wanted to give yourself to him wholly. Utterly devout beneath him.

You whimpered as you felt the stretch while he slid himself in, just the tip as first. “Rhett- it’s too- oh my godddd” your back arched as you left crescent marks on his bicep while he went deeper. “Just a little more and it won’t hurt. You’re doing so well. My sweet, sweet girl.”

Usually he’d scold you for taking the lords name in vain. But how could he when he was buried so deep in your tight pussy. The only man who ever has been. You were taking him like you were made for him.

“God took his sweet time on you lamb, made you just for me” he praised, stilling inside you as he pressed chaste kisses to your neck. The tenderness contrasting the roughness as he began snapping his hips. Your body was thrust up the pillow without warning, his body weight fully on top of you. You weren’t sure if you couldn’t breathe or just didn’t want to as the pain absolved into pleasure.

“Don’t you feel good baby? It feels good to give all of yourself to God” Rhett grunted lowly as his hips snapped into you in a sustained rhythm. The room smelled like cigarettes, whiskey and sex. It smelled like sin. The only sound that could possibly be heard was the sound of skin against skin as Rhett buried himself to the hilt over and ever. Your moans dissolving into each other’s mouth as his tongue ran over your bottom lip.

“Look at me” he gripped your face, fingers slightly digging into your cheeks so you couldn’t break eye contact. “Spit on your fingers. Show me how you touch yourself.” You could tell by his tone that it wasn’t a question. It was a demand. You tried to spit as ladylike as you could. It was a pathetic amount that earned nothing but a disapproving tut as his hand gripped your wrist and you felt him spit on your hand. “Show me. Show me, you deserve this.” Your hips jerked as you drew tight circles over your bundle of nerves. It provided you friction you didn’t even know you were craving. All while Rhett was pounding into you. “Atta girl.” He took your other hand in his and pressed it to the bottom of your stomach. Feeling the bulge of his cock inside you only made you rub yourself harder. The tight circles got sloppier as you started to give in to the pleasure washing over you, your legs tightening around him, pressing your heel into his back as you tried to get him deeper.

“I can’t- I’m gonna- Rhett please I need to cum. Can I cum?” “You know how to ask.” “Please Pastor Abbott, I’ve been a good girl. Let me cum for you?” Rhett imagined that’s what he’d hear at the pearly gates. Not that he was going there. But to hear you whine and beg was worth a lifetime of unabsolved sin. The grunt caught in his throat as he tried to regain composure. “Cum around my cock angel, show me how good it feels to serve me and the Lord.” His name fell from your lips repeatedly, like a sweet prayer. The same way it did when he had you spread on his desk, or in the confession booth, touching yourself. The thought was sending him over the edge and he found himself closer than he realised. “I’m gonna fill you up baby, gonna cum inside you and watch it drip out. Are you gonna be a good girl and take it? Show me what a good little wife you’d make.”

Rhett knew you were both playing fast and loose but neither of you cared. You definitely didn’t care when you felt him fill you up. His grunts turned to whines as you felt him pulse, giving you every last drop. Rhett knew from the blissed out look on your face that this may be the first but it wasn’t the last time you’d let him have you like this. He pressed his forehead to you as he slid out. Lips just brushing over yours.

He raised his head to meet the crucifix on the wall above the bed, his cum dripping out of you, “Lord, consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.”

Something something drawing attention to the neck something hairtossing as mating something

Now with VeryAccurate™ image descriptions

interrupting our irregularly posted and unnecessarily long posts with this devastating piece of news. I was listening to An Honest Mistake on spotify by The Bravery and i swear to fuck. i went to look at the lyrics and was immediately bombarded with ORANGE AND WHITE and i was like FUCKKKK AFTG EXY FOXES HGNGHHGH. and then. i actually read the fucking lyrics and its literally andrew. THE SONG IS LITERALLY ANDREW FALLING IN LOVE WITH NEIL. PLEASE LISTEN TO IT. IM SO.

SpideyTorch week

Day 01: Across the Multiverse

Am I already a day behind? Yes.

Am I, however, offering fem!SpideyTorch as an apology? Also yes.

I listened to Kitty Kat by Megan The Stallion on repeat while making this— enjoy

(Earth 1008 was chosen merely because the 8th of October it's international lesbians day! Woo!)

😢😢😢😢

⭒ kaeya with an artsy s/o headcanons ⭒

request for @cheshirepirouette: Hello! Could I request headcanons for Kaeya with an s/o who’s particularly artsy? Not a slouch when it comes to combat, but chronic pain has them a bit more conscious of how they spend their energy, so they devote most of their time to learning to create things through different mediums like yarn or silk, clay, even learning to play piano, anything that catches their eye when feeling well enough- They’d tend to flit around between projects as interests grow and wane but they’re always ready to make something personal for the one they love, and tend to be pretty sweet and silly overall? This was very long skjfdhlsf thank you, and I love your blog!

aaa i love this request omg!!! i can really relate to this, and that may be why this was so easy for me to write LOL it took me less than half an hour (that is not normal)

i hope you enjoy it! and thank you, i’m so glad you like my blog so much <3

⭒

pairing: kaeya/reader

characters: kaeya alberich

genre: fluff

word count: 483

⭒

⋆ very understanding and encouraging! will make jokes about how he’s “alright with being the fighter” between you two, but it’s always genuinely lighthearted

⋆ he thinks it’s really impressive that you can have so many different hobbies and projects. even if you don’t think you’re amazing at a particular skill, kaeya is quick to tell you that being “just alright” at a wide variety of activities is something you should be proud of

⋆ always encourages you to try anything you’re thinking about, along with furthering the things you’ve already tried

⋆ if you’re struggling with anything at all, he does his best to help. looking at new methods? sure, he’ll do them with you. need new or more materials? he’s already heading for the door, just tell him what you need.

⋆ he cherishes every single thing you make for him, again, even if you don’t think it’s “good.” to kaeya, the fact that you took time to make him anything at all means more than the actual quality of the final product

Keep reading

Heyyy :) I was wondering if I could request a Diluc x gn reader where Diluc sees readers OLD self harm scars while they are like doing the dishes or sumn. Totally no pressure or anything, and I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable

^ anon, you should be very proud of yourself for overcoming your self-harm. No one but you can understand what it took for you to get to where you are. I don’t know what went on or what’s happening with you now, I just hope that you are happy and doing things that keep you safe!

If you read this, and you need a reminder -> please know that there are so many ways to deal with the pain - some can be helpful, and some (while seeming helpful) can be harmful. I’m not qualified to tell you what to do, all I can tell you is that you have more capabilities to overcome something than you know - be proud of your growth and keep fighting every day 💗💗

Moving Forward

Warning -> mentions of past self-harm (potential trigger warning!), hurt, anxiety 

Includes: Diluc

Character x GN reader  |  Anthology

(potential trigger warning)*

Diluc always wondered why you wore clothes that covered your arms, and, even on hot days, you wore things that would completely cover you. He also was prone to wearing long clothes, so he didn’t pay too much attention to it, really - maybe you were cold?

The first time he caught a glimpse of your arms was when you were helping clear out the weeds around the vineyard. You had pulled your sleeve up your arm and wiped the sweat from your forehead 

He’d seen scars on people - especially those in the adventurers guild or the knight's order, but yours seems to be strange. They were uniform and only on one side of your arm instead of places where a normal blade might cut 

The second time he saw them you were helping out the owners of the Floral Whisper. They were trying to set up their displays for the day and had grabbed you as you walked by. Again, he noticed the scars, but this time on your other arm - their same strangely uniform placement 

The third time - he asked you about them 

“Hey, I’ve almost got all of this put-away, can you let them know they should be ready in a few minutes.” You lifted the final crate of wine bottles onto the cart and slid them against the others. There was a satisfying sound as they slipped into place. 

The warm sun had started to heat up your shirt and you wanted to cool off. You made your way to the back of the winery and pumped the water from the reservoir. The cold water felt good on your hands. Slowly, you rolled up your sleeves before you cupped the water in your palms and threw it over your face. It was so refreshing, especially after all the work you got done that morning. 

“Dang it.” You expressed, your eyes closed and filled with water. You had forgotten to grab a towel, and even though you could brush the water from your face, you wished there was a way to dry off. 

“Here.” You hear a voice next to you and feel fabric rub against your face. 

“Ah, thanks!” You take the towel in your hands and dab the water off your skin, your neck, and your arms. “Oh, I thought that was you, Diluc.” 

“I saw you head this way.” 

“Yeah, I needed to cool off. Thanks for this.” You gesture with the towel before draping it over the spigot. You were about to head back to make sure everything was in order when he grabbed onto your wrist. “Uh?” 

“I’ve noticed these several times now, and I am curious as to how you got them.” He held your wrist up to the sunlight, and your stomach drops. 

Desperately, you try to come up with an excuse. “Oh … uh, these are from fighting slimes by the river.” 

“You know I can’t believe that.” He doesn’t let go of your wrist. 

You wish he would just leave it alone. You pry his fingers from you and quickly pull down your sleeves. “Just don’t worry about it. It’s not that big of a deal.” 

“Then why are you lying to me?” His eyes bore into you, they are heavy and you wonder why there isn’t more air outside. 

“I’m … not really. It’s just you don’t need to concern yourself.” You try to play it off. You let out a little laugh as if it really is just a simple thing. 

“Fine.” His tone is sharp and you knew your attempt to lighten the mood failed. He walks off and the pit in your stomach grows bigger. You chase after him. When you catch up you place your hands against his chest and stop him from moving. The two of you stand by the rock barrier separating the winery from the road. 

“Hold on … I know you’re irritated.” 

“Why would I be? This doesn’t concern me, does it.” Again, his words hit your heart and sink into the dark pit. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just, I haven’t talked about this with anyone in a long time. I didn’t think …” you’re trying to find the words to explain, it’s all just very hard. 

“You didn’t think I could care?” 

“No …” 

“You didn’t think I would understand?” 

“No, I don’t know. Hold on.” You push your hands against his chest to press the point you need him to stop. “Look, I want to explain to you, but you have to know that this was something I did a long time ago. I don’t … I don’t do this now.” 

He just stares at you. 

“A long time ago I was really struggling. I needed to figure out some things and it was all just so much to bear. So,” You roll up your sleeves and show him your arms. The light warms your skin and reminds you that these scars, while always there, had healed a long time ago. “I felt like this was the only thing that alleviated everything that was building up. Like they released the hurt. Do you understand?” 

You look at him with a pained expression. You want him to understand you. You want him to see that you are better now and that these things don’t define you. When he doesn’t say anything you return your gaze to your arms and back to the scars. 

When you see Diluc’s hands covering them, you look back at his face. He is giving you such a soft, compassionate expression. 

“I know what it feels like to be in pain. To want to block it all out and find some way to break through it. I understand.” He tracks your gaze as he speaks, if you look down, he dips his head, if you look away he pulls you back. “Thank you, for telling me.” 

“Mhm,” you respond, giving him a small smile. 

“And you don’t feel the need to do this anymore?” 

“No. Like I said, I found other ways to cope.” 

“Good.” He wrapped you in his arms, not caring at this moment if others saw you. He just wanted you to know you weren’t alone. 

“I will be here if things ever become painful again. Don’t forget that.” 

“I won’t. Thank you, Diluc.” 

Now that he knows, he doesn’t pay them any attention. He doesn’t linger on them, he doesn’t kiss them more than he would any other part of your body

He doesn’t bring them up

He doesn’t want you to feel reminded of your past, instead, he wants you to look forward to your future

IF you want to chat - you can let me know - here is another good resource