Tkm - Blog Posts

I can just imagine the cold running down Andrew's spine as he heard Neil's cell phone ring, but no sign of Neil, just his bag and the phone there on the ground

He knew Neil would never willingly leave his things behind, even with all the chaos, he would never leave his bag there. As the realization Neil was probably taken settled in, Andrew stopped to listen to the lyrics of Neil's ringtone, right as it said

'Runaway train never coming back'

And at that moment Andrew knew his runaway train could really never come back. At this point he could be dead already. The thought almost made his heart stop. Neil was smart, he was a survivor, he could survive, he HAD to survive. Andrew cursed himself for the ringtone he had chosen as a way to spite Neil, but now just felt like another one of life's cruel ironies

'Wrong way on a one-way track'

Andrew tried to remember how to breath as he reminded himself thats how it was always supposed to end, he knew this would happen, it was indeed a one-way track, but...it was so early, so sudden. Why couldn't he have more time?? He thought, not knowing if it was about him, Neil or the both of them

Andrew's chest tightened, as a mist of anger and desperation builded up inside him. He felt like he would burst at any moment. It was like a giant hole had been carved on his chest. After so long feeling nothing, having so many feelings at once made him dizzy.

That was when another realization settled in: it had always been Neil all along. Somehow Andrew was dumb enough to fool himself into thinking he would be able to let go when the time came, that he was in control of the situation and Neil was nothing but a distraction, someone interesting to distract him from the fact his whole life felt like a bore. But it wasnt true anymore and it hadn't been for a long time, maybe it was never really true.

Andrew had indeed gone the wrong way a one way track. He knew how this was gonna end, and still he fell into Neil's gravity and allowed himself to be pushed closer and closer everyday. The phone finally stopped ringing, but the song kept playing on his head like a buzz

He looked around again, hoping to find those clueless stupid blue eyes looking at him, but there was nothing, no one. He felt like if he was falling as he stomach sank. It was right then and there he finally admitted something he already had known for a while: he didn't want to, in fact, he couldnt live without Neil. A world without him was just pure hell. Andrew needed Neil as much as he needed air or water

(This wasnt supposed to be almost a fic, but I got carried away while writing, lol. Forgive me for any mistakes, I typed it on my cellphone and english isnt my first language)

Do you ever think about how Andrew called Neil’s phone after he disappeared, but instead of Neil answering, it’s just ‘Runaway train never coming back’ playing on a loop… or are you normal?

CACKLING i cherish their every little interaction.

so uhh quick update on the aftg oc his name is elio uhh his lore has changed since I last spoke about him ummm his character design is getting re done because I fucking hate what I did like not really it's just the hair that's getting edited uhh I am doing like one with a base/ref of neil holding baby elio soo ill post that when it's done so like as for elios lore uhh his age has changed not that much just the fact that during tfc he's 6-7 and than from trk and onwards he's 7-8 so its a year/two younger so he was bron like either right after Mary and neil ran or just like a month or two before which I'm going with the month or two before they ran so yeah

guys help me plz so I know we gave casey hart as a kid oc for aftg however do I make a new one cuz I have an idea and like this oc may have health issues (I'm not fully sure) so do I have this oc be like present at the start or pop up because of some underlying factor I don't much about said oc yet but I do have a desgin for them planned out in my head (I'm a bitch with to much creativity and I make way to many ocs for just about everything this is like a normal thing I fear)

it's was just a bunch of a crickets just hearing ppl breath fr

Thinking about how Andrew choked Kevin when he realised Neil was missing.

Andrew who would kill anyone who looked at Kevin the wrong way. Andrew who would stab whomever if it meant Kevin was safe. Andrew who saw a broken raven and said I’ll protect you and meant it and kept that promise like his life depended on it.

Andrew who nearly killed Allison because of a promise. Andrew who would’ve never talked to Neil again because of a promise.

Yet when there was ambulances and injured foxes and you were amazing before Neil’s gear with his phone, with a 0 on screen and a Baltimore caller ID, Andrew turned on Kevin.

Can you imagine being the other foxes and watching that happen? Knowing what Andrew would do to them for so much as breathing at Kevin in the wrong direction, now Neil was missing and Andrew was hurting Kevin and something is happening here.

Andrew and Kevin don’t have the luxury of a second language to talk to each other in, either. Whereas secrets were usually shared in French and German so the others couldn’t understand, now there’s nothing to hide behind, and Andrew doesn’t care either. Where is Neil, who is he, who’s taken him, is he safe? Is he alive?

Then picture being Kevin, knowing Andrew, knowing what this means, that Neil is more important to Andrew than he is now, so much so that he would hurt him for Neil. Not only does he know that; but he knows there’s a good chance that Neil is dead. If it’s his father, it’s not the Moriyama’s; he is the butchers son, after all, and the butcher was never keen to spare a life.

So the foxes know nothing and everything at the same time on that bus journey out to wait for his return. They know they’re hurt, that something is very wrong. They know Kevin has bruises around his neck, and Andrew can’t look him in the eye. They think they understand now why Neil got everything he asked for from Andrew; and Andrew thinks he might never see him again.

I’d say it was the quietest bus journey of their lives.

PLEASE I implore you to read whole "doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" conversation to the chorus of Closer by Nine Inch Nails. That is all.

I feel like its an underrated fact the Neil flat out told Kevin and Wymack that recruiting him was a mistake and tried his best yo get them to leave him alone in Milport.....they have nothing to blame but themselves for the chaos that followed, my guy said point blank it was a bad idea.

Ok so all Nora has givin us is 🌞

And we all just assumed and jumped on the jerjean train, but imagin TSC is actually NOTHING to do with the Trojans, and is just like andrews experience in cali, or Nicky and erik, cause erik is a cannon outdoors person, like i would love a jerjean book, and for them to be canon, but realistically it probs just hoing to be a 'how ravens adjust to being outside after 5 years' thing, like yall have to much faithhh

Since when do authors give us what we want

I wish we got a better reaction out of Wymack and the Foxes when Neil get back from Christmas break, like my guy provided no context to why riko changed his like entire look....like the dont even really get that thats his natural look untill the birthday blood shit.....like neil gives them nothing but a lame 'he threatened you if i change it back' like the team must be so confused, like WHY DOES RIKO WANT HIM GINGER, it not even raven aethestic....? Not to mention Andrew coming back from easthaven and like, he knew about his eye, but the man pulls up looking like he lost a fight with a train and is just... Not hiding them anymore? And is a ginger.....AND NO ONE QUESTIONS IT?!

"Quiero tirarme a escuchar trátame suavemente contigo"

neil was ready to die. he had accepted that he wasn’t going to live past 19, that he would be killed, that he wouldn’t do anything else with his life. and he was mourning the loss of exy and his teammates and friendship, but he didn’t bother mourning the loss of a domestic life because it never even occured to him that that could be a possibility. that dream died the night he ran away. he didn’t mourn the loss of lazy sleep-filled mornings or cat cuddles or holding hands or having his own place, because to him, that was always too far-fetched. he didn’t mourn for the small joys of domestic life, because he’d never had them in the first place

you know what’s painful? before the final match against the ravens when neil says that he can see how much matt loves his mom and that “sometimes he was still surprised at how blatantly that love was returned” 

like?? 

mary did her best to keep neil alive and they had a complicated relationship but, ultimately, neil loved her

this quote hurts though, because neil obviously didn’t really get that love reciprocated - yes, in her own way, mary loved him and tried to keep him safe and as happy as possible given the circumstances, but overall his life on the run was full of pain and fear and his mom added to that

so of course it’s weird for him to see randy love matt so fiercely and so openly, but my heart still aches for him

The "monsters"

(Not a great artist lol, first time drawing them, but I had to. I love them too much)

My Unprofessionnel Process:

Plus a sketch of Neil from the middle of Science class bc why not:

Honestly kinda in love w the red version