Whenever I Love, I Cause Damage– And That's Why I'm Distant; No One Will Ever Want To Manage, Because

Reality Check

Hello again after a while

I know, such long absence is not my style

But i have so many struggles to deal with

I am praying for „its getting better“

to be no myth

So i packed up my warmest sweater

And wrote this letter

Its about feelings happy or sad

Its about the best i ever had

And all the times i got mad

Mad because i feel so empty

Like the nutella jar on day twenty

But no one is seeing

My loneliness and emptiness

Just how well i‘m being

How thin i‘m becoming

All the happiness

All the dm‘s incoming

I must be famous or something

I wish someone would look under this cover

If its my mother a brother or a lover

I just want it to be recognised

To be recognised that i‘m not doing well

and its a long way down i fell

To come for me, to love for me, to fight for me

and to never leave me

But the longer i wait the more i understand

That there will be no one coming

And it has to be me I’m counting

I have to come for me, love me, fight me, and

never ever leave me

Its like in Phantom of the Opera

„Learn to be lonely

Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you“

And i think thats true

-B.I

Endloses Labyrinth

Ich versteh es nicht wie kann sowas passieren

Wie kann mich das glück so hardcore ignorieren

Versuche jeden tag zu verstehen

Was der Grund ist

doch ich kann ihn nicht sehen.

Ist das vielleicht alles nur eine List?

Damit du alles gute vergisst ?

Immer der spruch, hab kein selbst mitleid

Aber wie, wenn keiner so wie man selbst mitleidet ?

Überleg doch mal, denk doch mal ganz genau nach

Du kannst nie verstehen wies mir ging als meine welt zerbrach

Mag wohl sein dass du auch schlimmes durchgemacht hast

und deine Matura nicht geschafft hast

danach deine beste chance verpasst hast und von da an nur mehr ne last warst.

Aber was gibt dir das recht zu verstehen

Was die Menschen täglich durchgehen und durchmachen,

mit Großem schmerz alles schaffen.

Also lass dich nicht täuschen von dem Gesicht der Glückseligkeit

Denn es ist nur aufgesetzt in eurer Anwesenheit

Nennen wir es Arbeitszeit,

Denn das ist keine leichte Angelegenheit!

Zu täuschen man wäre fit

Und das leben ist der größte hit.

Doch das is alles nur bullshit.

Im Hintergrund zerbicht man

Du fragst wie man das alles dann noch kann ?

Ich sags dir es ist der klang.

Der klang eines liedes, völlig egal

Ob genre klassik, raggae oder tiktok viral

Es geht um die syphonie und Zusammenarbeit

Damit dir die Melodie im kopf hängen bleibt

Denn eines bin ich mir sicher

Wär die musik mein richter

Bräuchte ich nicht mehrere Gesichter.

-B.I

hii , literally thank you so much for supporting me since the start and liking my posts and commenting , I truly appreciate it and it means a lot❤, hope you really have an amazing day!! You made my day 💕

Hiii sweetheart !!!! You are very very welcome. I just treat people the way i would like to be treated so please continue beeing so sweet and creating such beautiful art ! I love your work 🥰 and i hope you have a beautiful day too 🫶🤍 the greatest gift you can give me is your happiness ☺️🤍🤍🤍

Wenn du deine größte Muse benennen müsstest, welche wäre es?

Cro und Genetikk. Ich lieebe wie gut ihre lines und ihre reime sind, wie sehr sie darauf achten dass der flow, die musik, die geschichte UND die reime zusammen passen is einfach nur bemerkenswert. Man muss echt viel talent haben um alles in einem zu schaffen. Ich hoffe ich kann des auch irgendwann einmal 🙏

Beispiele zum rein hören:

Genetikk: Vielleicht, Alles möglich & mal es in die wolken

Cro: Forest gump, high, hoch & kapitel 1

Für jeden der reinhört: sagt mir was ihr darüber denkt :)))

Point of view

So many men treating wo/men like shit

it feels like it doesn’t matter even a bit

But that isnt the bad thing about it

Its the matter of course thats the shit

Getting dickpicks without asking

Is the thing thats so blasting

Or be treated like a peace of meat

Doesn’t matter if you take a seat,

jump on the beat

or just stand on your feet.

They always find an opportunity

to catch a sight of your body heat.

Men thinking we cant see them gazing

They really think they are hazing

Their disrespect is just amazing.

Thinking we are dumb enough

To not recognise all the disgusting stuff.

Thats so unfair please remember that shit

Cause u wont be laughing about it

If that once happens to your kid

Never mind if daughter or son

They will be the burned one

It will stick to their memorys like a gum

I wonder what place you are from

there is nothing good you’ve ever done

And the world would be better when you’re gone

So go ask your mom

Where did this asshole behaviour come frome ?

What was the reason ?

Who’s fault

And what is this all about?

-B.I

Checklist:

One:

always respect a caring mom

Two:

dont talk if you have no clue

Three:

be what you want your kids to be

Four:

always search for more

But five:

dont take more than you need to survive

And six:

dont use dirty tricks

Seven:

believe everyone could reach heaven

Because eight:

you don’t need to be great, straight or perfect

weight

Nine:

Treat yourself divine

Ten:

because nobody else can

-B.I

Thank you so much for liking my posts, I really appreciate that🥰💕& thanks for your reply too.. though it was hard to digest it first😅, but i think I really needed that. To love ourselves is something I’ve only read about till now😅but it’s just always confusing.. i mean i do all that self care n all of my own stuff🤔🤷‍♀️😕… but yeah, I do admit I don’t really have that mentality😅.. ‘To actually love myself the way I expect someone else would’ is something I need to look into. Like I really think you were right with that! I do think whenever/if i will be in a relationship, i do have a huge tendency to turn into someone clingy (if not by actions then thoughts🤔)..

Also yes😁, I went through your poems and read each of them😍they’re really well-written & relatable. I’m not much of a poet or a writer myself😅, but i can say.. I really enjoyed reading yours🙌😁n they do get the msg through!✨

Hey i just wanted to say that i am so touched by your message ! I am so happy i touched you with my words and that you understood that i meant it ally by heart and for your happiness. I hope you have started working on loving yourself more because you deserve to be loved !!!!! ❤️❤️

And thank you for all your kind and nice kompliments to my poems, its such a blessing when my work gets appreciated 🥰🙏🫶❤️

Keep on beeing such a beautiful person beeing and always protect but not prison your heart ❤️❤️❤️ (learned that from a beautiful person)

Nein zum Naiv sein.

I’m Endeffekt ist es alles nur ein gegenseitiges ausnutzen

das dich aufhält in deinem eigenen dreck zu putzen.

Once upon a time…..des glaubst du immer noch ?

Das kanns doch wohl nicht sein!

Aber fühl dich nicht schlecht

ich war auch mal so ein naiver Specht.

Ich dachte liebe gibt es überall auf der Welt,

1000de Hände die dich auffangen wenn man fällt.

Aber A,E,I,O,U

so naiv wie ich warst nicht nur du.

-B.I

🤍🤍🤍

i want to meet someone who makes

me feel the way music does

I love it ! 🤍

the hardest quest of the day

is the journey to my bed.

the place where all my thoughts

go racing in my head.

.

lavender tea, a hint of honey,

my nightly calm routine.

bittersweet potion to aid the fight

with the demons that I keep.

.

climb in cold sheets, pen in hand

my notebook in my lap.

these words are my sword and shield.

attack, attack, attack.

-Ink Knight-

BL 2022