Latest Posts by chaoticgremelin - Page 5

We thought the new triollogy was gonna be abt Jeremy helping Jean heal

Turns out that Nora knows no limits for pain, so they are actually helping each other

I cant 😭

Emo about Jeremy again. Wdym he still misses Leo and he keeps hoping his mother will show him warmth and sympathy, and he tracked all his father’s calls in a notebook, and hated the first time cat told him I love you because it wasn’t fair to come from her first when he’d been waiting so long. Wdym he still tries to connect with his sister and willed himself not to dream so he wouldn’t dream of Jean’s “I will choose you everytime ” out of context and lets all these men use him because at least if he’s being used he’s being thought of at all

Hello! I hope you're doing well. I'm planning to start a community here on Tumblr that bridges the gap between writers and readers of fiction (target dem of 13-25 roughly). It's going to be like a bookstore that's run by the authors. Readers can engage directly with the authors of their next favorite reads, get behind the scenes info, and just generally have a unique and interactive experience that I haven't personally seen offered in other places. I'm planning on including different games for both groups too so that things stay fresh, exciting, and most importantly, fun. If this is something you could see yourself enjoying, please let me know! I'll send an invite when it's all ready.

Thata actually seems super cool! I would really enjoy it!

pt.52!! <pt.51

tags for the homies ❤️ @andrewsleftarmband @blurryhour @you-know-i-get-itt @notexactlythatgirl @longspacerat @tessasilverswan @minyard-05 @carbon-dated-gal @bisexualchaosdemon @stormiiflies @watercoloureyes01 @vampire-overlord @iron-sides @azure-wing @buffalo-fox @ohgodnotagainplease @pink-hydrangea @jaywalkerss @ohmynoggin-blog @cosmic-marauder @min-getoutofmy-yard @plazybones @disastersappho @leestars13 @the-witch-forever-lives @minyardsss @post-historical-posts @andabuttonnose @hidinginmyhands @aftg4l @allfor-thegames @kaleidoskuls @inafieldofstarflowers @snowcoming @mooniism @jeanmoreausautismstickers @prometheusthedragon @graveyardviolence @bustedleftshoe @beatrix33 @aftg-bs @yes-i-exist-shutup @milktemproom @all-for-exy @moon-over-ruined-castle @oneandonlystarshine @dragonslayer26806 @malepresentingleg

Just yes, absolutely just yes

This quote was too Agathario to pass up 🩸

"Just please let me go" was the most hearbreaking wording choice Nora could have done

It shows everything

First of all how done and tired he is ("just")

Also the "let me go" part: he is not asking only to be left alive, he is asking his father to let him go, let him live his life.

In book one he says that everytime he wakes up he has to remind himself everything is okay bc he always wakes up thinking his father found him and he has to take a few deep breaths and ground himself before starting his day

This has been this boy's life EVERY DAY for NINE YEARS, in other words, this has been his life for about 3.200 days.

This "let me go" isnt just a desperate plea for his life, but it is the plea of a kid who cant stand being afraid, scared and always on the run anymore. It has been NINE YEARS, and Nathan just cant let him go, for NINE YEARS Nathan didnt allow neither him or his mother to really go and he made their lifes a living hell. So what Neil is asking here is to be freed from the nightmare his whole life had always been, because of Nathan

He knows it is not gonna work, but he cant take it anymore. He had been strong for too much time and at that moment, all he wanted to was to live, but really live, not just be alive. And he couldnt do that unless his father letted him go

Another thing that always hurts me about this part is that he had accepted he was gonna die, literally until he saw his father

When it comes to kidnappings you should NEVER allow your kidnappers to take you to a second location. If you get kidnapped and you plan on trying to run, you gotta do it BEFORE you get to the second location. No matter how hard it seems to scape, it will be even harder once you are in the second location. Once you arrive where your kidnappers want you, then it is almost surely game over

Neil probably knew this very well. Like, even my mom taught me that, Mary definitely taught this to him

But even knowing that, when does he decides to try to scape???

Not only when he was already inside his father's house, at his basement (aka: second location), but also when his father arrived (aka: the worst possible time)

And this wasn't a rational decision

When Neil received Lola's call, he accepted he was gonna die that day. He didnt fight it, bc he had already accepted he was gonna be dead before may. Off course, it was earlier then what he wanted it to be, but it felt just like destiny knocking earlier at his door

But then he saw his father and reality hitted, HE WAS GONNA DIE

And at that moment he realized he wasnt fucking ready to go, not now, not this early. There was so much he wanted, most importantly there were the Foxes, he didnt want to leave them, he didnt want to leave Andrew, he wasnt ready. He tought he was, but he wasn't

And thats when he makes his desperate scape attempt and his desperate last plea "just please let me go", that wasnt a plea just for his life. He was asking his father to, after nine years, allow him to be happy, to be safe, to "go". It is the last plea of an abused kid to his abuser. "Just stop abusing me, Just stop obsessing with me. LET ME LIVE"

He knows it wont work, but at this point, after finally finding what to live for, he had to at least try it

If Nathan had found him at the beggining of his first season with the Foxes or while he was still in his HS team, he would have died without letting out a single scream or plea. Bc at that point he was living out of spite. He was living with the hopes he would eventually find what to live for. He had nothing but his pride, and he sure as hell wasnt gonna allow Nathan to take it from him.

But when Baltimore happens, he had found what to live for, his wildest hopes became true, he had what to live for. He realizes it when he finally sees his father after all this time. So at that point, fuck his pride, the Foxes were more important then that. So he begs. Knowing it will fall on death ears, but the life he had built for himself was way too important for him to not try. Nathaniel, the kid raised to endure all sorts of pain and scape from an entire mafia, would never beg shit to his father. But the Foxes had humanized him, so at that moment he does what any other human would do: he asks for his life. There, it was the first time In the whole series Neil does something remotely similar to what a 19 years old would (and even so, he still kept a certain composure). And that was when Neil Josten finally buried Nathaniel Wesninski. He did what Neil would do at that moment, not what Nathaniel would

Anyways, he was just a kid and I hate Nathan so much

I just hope this bastard is burning in hell and having to watch his son heal and live in spite of him

genuinely the most heartbreaking part in aftg like out of the whole series is at the end of the kings men when neil snaps and starts begging for his life

like his “please, just let me go, just let me go i’m not—” LIKE UGHHHH

to me it really emphasizes just how young he is…like he’s literally only 19 he’s a teenager!!! begging for his life!!!! (after trying so hard to save face in front of lola in the car it didn’t even matter in the end bc fuck i’m about to die)

and also just the parallel with andrew and his hatred in the word, that he also said please and it didn’t work

(and the fact that he probably also came to a point where he knew it wouldn’t work but he had to try and beg anyways bc there’s no way out he has no other options he has nothing to gain but nothing to lose either just please let me go—)

Also the fact Wymack had to hold this boy on a chokehold of his own just so that he wouldnt go and murder all the Ravens on his reach

Like, he had a BROKEN COLLARBONE, had already defended Neil, and was about to KEEP ON FIGHTING, just bc they dared to hurt his love

i will never get over andrew minyard, devoted paladin, choking out a girl who fucked up neil when he himself had a BROKEN COLLARBONE and had just slipped away from his own attempted murder

Even though in the canon this isnt true, the thing that matters the most is that they 100% WOULD do that

And neither would admit or deny doing it

really love when people depict the twinyards with bleach blonde hair and dark eyebrows as it implies they’re splitting a box of l’oréal 613 and dying each other’s hair every few weeks

I love them so much!!

Cat and Laila desearve the whole world and a little more

cat kissing jean’s temple and forehead. laila brushing and playing with jean’s hair. cat teaching jean how to ride a bike and taking him on trips. laila saying they can plant whatever jean wants on their garden. cat kissing jeremy’s knuckles. laila protecting jeremy from his brother and being the one to hold him after the banquet. cat being the first person ever to tell ‘i love you’ to both jean and jeremy when they waited their whole lives to hear those words

Gennerally ppl say "they desearve each other" as an offense, but with Jeremy and Jean I can confidentely say that they desearve each other and mean it in the vest way possible

They are so caring and loving towards each other, I cant 😭

Thinking about Jeremy watching Jean watch his exy matches and finding the way Jean makes his own commentary endearing. Spending more time watching Jean than watching the actual match. Thinking about Jeremy fighting back a smile whenever Jean makes a grumbly comment about something because he finds it charming now that he's gotten to know him better. Thinking about Jeremy taking eight flights of stairs with Jean because he knows Jean doesn't like elevators. Thinking about the million and one little things that Jeremy does to show that he cares about Jean, and still being surprised when Jean wants to protect him and stand by him.

pt.51: Seth’s Q&A!! <pt.50

much to unpack. the suitcase ought to be incinerated

tags for the homies ❤️ @andrewsleftarmband @blurryhour @you-know-i-get-itt @notexactlythatgirl @longspacerat @tessasilverswan @minyard-05 @carbon-dated-gal @bisexualchaosdemon @stormiiflies @watercoloureyes01 @vampire-overlord @iron-sides @azure-wing @buffalo-fox @ohgodnotagainplease @pink-hydrangea @jaywalkerss @ohmynoggin-blog @cosmic-marauder @min-getoutofmy-yard @plazybones @disastersappho @leestars13 @the-witch-forever-lives @minyardsss @post-historical-posts @andabuttonnose @hidinginmyhands @aftg4l @allfor-thegames @kaleidoskuls @inafieldofstarflowers @snowcoming @mooniism @jeanmoreausautismstickers @prometheusthedragon @graveyardviolence @bustedleftshoe @beatrix33 @aftg-bs @yes-i-exist-shutup @milktemproom @all-for-exy @moon-over-ruined-castle @oneandonlystarshine @dragonslayer26806

i knowww wymack was DYINGGGG to get jeremy to the foxes after the scandal. i know he called rhemann like heyyy☺️☺️☺️ tell me about the freshman

They make me sick

Neil liking math is so funny to me

Like, hasnt your life been hard enough?? (Coming from someone who also likes math)

I love the AFTG characters and their silly interest like Andrew canonically likes to watch musicals with Bee, Kevin is down bad for history, Neil thinks math is fun. They’re just so human I love them

And I say amen to that

the holy trinity

I always found it very funny Kevin's whole thing with "you should be hetero, it is easier to make Court like that". It just seemed to be one of those moments where he was so absurdly into Exy that he couldnt understand basic human things

This was until TGR, and then I understood that his line of thinking was ingrained in very deep traumas. He saw what happened to Jean when he dared to step a little out of heteronormativeness. He saw all the pain it caused. He saw what Riko did to him and Im sure at this moment he swore to never even try to find out if he could like boys in other ways. So when he saw Nicky giving Neil incentives to explore his sexuality, Im sure all the flashbacks of that time came to him like a punch, and he knew that in US court (at least while Riko was still there) being heterosexual meant survival. Thats why he says that to Nicky.

It is literally his trauma speaking for him, not his obsession with Exy speaking for him

Which also brings me to my theory that Kevin is a deeply repressed bisexual (there aint no way that diva is straight). TGR literally only helped to confirm that

For sure he went about it wrong, but Kevin does truly want to protect them. This is the world he was brought up in as well.

This feels like the perfect place to bring a foldable chair, some blankets and a book

I literally could spend hours like this

Downstream

*Said with a heavy French accent

Like, how did they think that the same Kevin that got white as a ghost when he saw Riko at Kathy's program would serve this amount of cunt to Riko???

My poor boy took almost two years to be brave enough to cover that pathetic face tattoo, he definitely wouldnt be running around recruiting runaway backliners just to provoke Riko

I think that this mostly serves as a way to show how egocentric Riko was, and how this mentality would also contaminate others around him. Riko knew Kevin was f-ing scared of him, and he clearly had a lot of fun on the Kathy's show and banquets making Kevin feel afraid. But he just couldnt accept Kevin was his own person and would do things bc he wanted/believed they were right. So if he recruited Nathaniel off course it was on porpuose only to taunt him, bc off course he is the center of the world and all Kevin's actions must be related to him

Actually hilarious to me that Riko & co. thought that Kevin went out and recruited Neil Josten aka Nathaniel Wesninski aka The Butcher's son ON PURPOSE

They really thought my guy went "you took my hand? Well I'm taking your runaway backliner who's been missing for the past eight years." And that he went and did it BY HIMSELF in FOUR MONTHS

I know Kevin is and has always been That Bitch™, but he could never dream to serve the amount of cunt Riko thought him capable of when he first got the lab results back from Kathy's show. No wonder they were so mad lol

Sometimes it feels like everyone around me is speaking in a secret language and I'm the only one who doesn't know it.

Aaron Minyard🤝Neil Josten🤝"dead man dont rape"

And I love them for it

It’s so funny that Aaron has killed a man. Bro really said “I haven’t taken the Hippocratic oath yet, motherfucker” and concaved a rapist’s skull.

“A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads. Friends.”

Literally a whole series about second chances and yall are mad a character has fucked up and needs a second chance????

Ppl scare me honestely, like, how can you not understand it so hard that you read the whole series only to get to TGR and hate Jeremy???

tbh all these people I see who hate Jeremy because of what was revealed in tgr have a fundamental misunderstanding of not only the golden raven, but the entire message of aftg as a whole. and I'm not sorry for saying that.

Neil has a talent for making Andrew having to admit exactly what he is trying to avoid

"that doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" is an iconic confession for a lot of reasons but i love that andrew obviously picked his wording so so carefully there to avoid admitting any feelings involved and then neil's demisexual ass just totally bypasses that and he responds saying "you like me." WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT ANDREW WAS TRYING TO AVOID ADMITTING.

Dont we all like our man fruity??

find the difference

You think Tilda ever slipped her pills into Aaron's food when he was just a kid to get him to finally calm down, shut up, and go to sleep? You think she brought boyfriends over and let them beat on Aaron and send him running to get beers from the fridge like an errand boy? You think Tilda would grab Aaron by his hair hard enough to leave bald patches bad enough that Aaron would wear beanies and caps all the time? You think Aaron ever ran away with a small second hand book bag and a couple of shirts and jeans and the only toy Tilda ever got him, only to come back after two days and realize Tilda never even knew he was gone. You think Aaron loved school, not because he got to get away from home or hang out with friends, but because he gets to eat a whole meal, even if school lunches weren't that good. You think Aaron ever tried to wake up Tilda from an overdose, with shaking hands and shallow panicked breaths, he tries to stay calm enough to remember what he has to do, just give her the narcan and everything should be fine (by the third time his hands no longer shake, by the fifth he realizes he wants to be a doctor). You think on the rare occasion Aaron goes to church with Luther he can't help but make a prayer, not for a new family, not for his mom to go away, not for her to stop hitting him, but for Tilda to look at him with love, to take him out to eat, show up at his exy games, for her to be clean, for her not to die the next time she takes to much.

I NEED this interaction in an actual fantasy book

It would make my day

I don't think fantasy writers play enough with the concept of the different fantasy races having distinct ethnicities. Like imagine a group of mixed peoples, where the dwarves are all roasting each other like dwarves do, and one of them remarks that when he first saw one of the other dwarves in the group, he mistook her for a man. The other dwarves in the group blink in surprise - the closest that dwarves will go to an audible gasp of shock - and she pulls out a knife and tries to stab him.

Once the dwarves have been separated from each other and the situation has calmed, one of the humans asks another dwarf what that incident was about. Naturally a human woman would have been insulted too, but dwarves are so jovial about insulting each other, why was this matter different?

And the dwarf who was asked explains that there are things you can brutally insult another dwarf about, and there are things you simply do not touch. The dwarf-woman in question is from a completely different region of The Great Underground as the others, and her people have different norms about what kind of patterns men and women braid into their beards. The dwarf insulting her wasn't only insulting her appearance, he was being racist.

The human is surprised to learn that dwarves have different peoples, and the dwarf looks at them like at an idiot. Of course they do, they even look completely different from each other. And the human listens as the dwarf lists off various distinguishing clothing details too nuanced for a human to notice, and then how dwarves coming from different corners of the world have different physical traits, according to what kind of conditions their local stone types dictate.

The human spots a connection and goes oh! We have that too, though ours are not about rock types and tunnel air, but the weather aboveground. Humans' facial features vary by how hot, cold, arid or windy their ancestors' homelands were, and our skin tone varies by how much the sun shines in their native region.

The dwarf frowns at the last part, going "I thought you people just paint your skin and dye your hair for fun", and the human admits that yeah, we do that too, but not all the time, and not the whole skin. The dwarf asks, what of that tall woman the colour of dravite, her palms and the soles of her feet were lighter than the rest of her. Does that mean she paints herself dark to be more beautiful?

The human says no, that just happens naturally. Maybe it's because one's palms and feet aren't exposed to the sun as much, so they are paler.

The dwarf nods, still unsure whether this is actually legit or just the human habit of lying for fun, and proceeds to ask about the wild northman of their party. He is as pale as an olm, but the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are dark. Are they painted, or naturally that way?

No, the human answers. That guy just doesn't bathe.

Then proceeds to say he hates Kevin

I love them both so much 🥺🥺🥺

Their interactions make me wanna hug my pillow, crawl in fetal position and just stay there forever. At the same time I wanna punch a wall, bc how could Riko and Tetsuji hurt so much those two beatifull souls and also make them hurt each other just to survive

I swear, I cant

the way jean speaks about and interacts with kevin is so… *gestures vaguely*

“he has earned the right to be arrogant” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

“stupid, beautiful kevin” oh! ok i didn’t need my heart anyway

“you are supposed to be better than this” “you have always known what i am” well that’s great for you two! meanwhile i am clawing at the walls of my enclosure

“unspoken: you cannot refuse me” hit like a blow to the head tbh