Latest Posts by lyssrambles - Page 2

Hanging on by a thread Waiting for you to cut the cord

Some Days

Some days I love myself.  Overjoyed to help others feel useful A treasure whose bliss is creating bliss Worthy. Loveable. Hopeful.

Other days I hate myself. Overwhelmed with feeling useless A burden and toxic to everything I touch Unworthy. Unloveable. Hopeless.

Some days I wonder if I will ever get back to some days.

You spin me around

like we're pinning the tail on the donkey

Yesterday this, tomorrow that

contradictions and half-truths

Until I'm dizzy and can barely walk straight

and you end up with a tail on your forehead

How do you fix something so broken?

11:11 and I'm wasting wishes on you again.

I keep typing out all my feelings to you Then I remember I’m not allowed anymore

I want...

I want to rail. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to yell out horrible things about him and make him feel as useless and broken as I do.

I want his arms around me. I want him to stroke my hair and tell me it will be okay. I want to believe it will be okay. I want to be safe. And secure.

But no one hears my wants as they fall directly into the blackness which was once my heart.

Time again to box it all up. Put it away. Pretend I don’t feel. Time to lose myself in mundanity. Hide from passion. Give up on hope.

Collected

You collect hearts    the way others collect shells Shiny hearts full of love    you are too scared to return Holding them to your ear    to admire the way they admire you Then back on display    until your ego needs another stroke There my heart sits in your display case,    dripping love and devotion Among the other trophies,    stolen by the heart collector

Dolly

I am your dolly You pull me down from my shelf    when you've nothing better to do To manipulate and pose me To play pretend Until another toy    catches your eye Then back I go Lifeless and empty    on my shelf

#need something to grab onto #to ground me #feeling lost #hold my hand #before i float away

Chase me Not because I am worth the chase But because I believe I am not

My eyes ache And I can’t tell if it is from lack of sleep Or all the crying But either way I blame you

The darkness in my head thick viscid pulling me under

I once thought you had come to banish the darkness It turns out you only came to snuff out my remaining light

No matter how hard I try Or the amount of willpower I manage to summon You will always be my weakness

It’s just nice to know once in a while you’re weak for me, too

I’d like to have compassion for him but I can’t I’ve already given him too much of my heart.

I tell you I love you All you can say is “Why?”

I know better I just ache for it so deeply I am willing to risk my sanity

Try not to think of me when you are alone

Try not to think of me when she won’t do those things for you

Try not to think of me when you are tired of forcing your round psyche into her square hole

Try not to think of me when you realize you can’t find happiness pretending to be someone you’re not

Try not to think of me because I am trying not to think of you

Try not to think of me

When you avoid your feelings, you bury your passion

What is life without passion?

I changed my Facebook relationship status to in a relationship with Chocolate

Chocolate doesn’t forget to call or run away because it can’t handle how it feels about me

I wonder if you wonder what I wonder

You’ve broken my heart into a thousand different pieces, in a thousand different ways Each time I wonder if this will be the last It isn’t; Somehow I always manage to forgive you

the darkness i thought it would consume me but here i am with my light shining through

I pray one day you will drunk text me So you can finally find the freedom to express all those things you’ve locked up deep down

I have a book full of you