Paradoxf0x - Here Lies My Brain Vomit

demon: youre a bitch

me: *starts closing the summoning circle*

demon: wait i gotta tell you some important ancient knowledge

me: *keeps it open*

demon: bitch

As someone who is rapidly approaching 30, if I can share just one price of advice I’ve learned as an adult it’s that life is so unserious you guys.

As an AuDHD trans man with several anxiety disorders, believe me I understand how stressful it can be to navigate the world, constantly feeling like everyone else knows exactly what they’re doing. When I was younger I used to equate this to feeling like life was a stage play and everyone had a script but me (I’ve probably posted something similar on this site at some point). But I’ve got news for you, we are all just out here winging it.

Life is not a stage play, life is a collage improve class and the teacher has left the room. So just relax and try to have some fun while we all “yes and” our way through this train wreck of a performance.

Anyone else feels like they overshare everything with others and at the very same time haven’t opened up at all to anyone

Lost Girl feeds my lesbian soul

I’ve always been a bit of a kleptomaniac, but to this day I’ve never taken anything that made any logical sense. For example:

A wrench off the top of a fire hydrant

A coil of rope from behind a dumpster (it wasn’t dirty)

A big ass tree branch I carried for two miles that barely fit in my friend’s car; reaching from the driver’s seat through the little door thing and into the trunk

A broken piano from the side of the road that I dragged toward my house for half a mile before giving up (pianos are heavy)

The types of questions about my transition that my friends worry will make me uncomfortable: Are you gonna take your shirt off at the beach now?

The types of questions they ask that do make me uncomfortable: Does it make you sad that your father doesn’t respect you?

Shout out to all the ghosts who died naked or at ugly sweater parties or in that one outfit you wear when you haven’t done laundry in weeks and you’ve run out of options

“Annie are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?”

“No, I need help with question seven.”