Just a friendly theraphosa stirmi that is capable of talking, spelling (typing) and shipping ships!
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Latest Posts by talking-tarantula - Page 3
Could you please do head cannons for the slender brothers about a s/o who's autistic and is having a break down on how they would help her ✨ I had to after seeing one of your recent posts, thank you!
I’m sorry these are short! I’m not experienced with autism, but I’ve done the research and hope I got everything correct. I understand that not all meltdowns are the same, so I tried to just get the general picture.
Slender
His voice is calming and soothing as he talks to you
He’ll fetch your stim objects and perhaps your favorite snack or drink to get you calm enough to talk to him.
He’ll guide you to a safer/quieter/ dark place.
He’ll try to find the root of the meltdown and see what he can do to fix it.
Or if there’s something that you need, he’ll fetch it for you.
He’s very logical, so it’s likely he’ll creatively work with you to find out the problem by asking questions.
If you need some alone time, he’ll leave if need be.
But out of habit he’ll peek in on you from time to time to make sure you’re not injuring yourself or getting overly panicked.
After the melt down, he’ll talk soothingly and suggest a warm bath after grounding yourself.
He’ll ask if you want or need anything and he’ll get said item.
If you’re alright with being touched and held now, he’ll give you a solid hug and squeeze you against him.
Offender
He doesn’t know exactly what to do, but he tries his best to talk you through it.
He’ll ask you how he can help you calm down, then he’ll try and go from there.
He’ll fetch you something if you need it,
But if it’s hidden somewhere he probably won’t find it bc he’s kinda blind when it comes to finding things ngl
But he’ll try and find a nice subsitute in the meantime.
He’s not too good with calming people down, but he’ll use his calming voice to soothe your emotions.
Will mayyybe (definitely) beat someone up if they were being too loud and annoying that triggered your meltdown.
After you’ve cooled off, he’ll hug and kiss you if you want and bring you some water so you stay hydrated.
Trender
He’ll go into New-York-City-Intern mode and fetch anything he thinks you need.
Comfort Item? Check
Stim toys? Check?
Cat? Check
Dog? Already on top of s/o.
WheReS The wATER? Oh, there it is!
Probably more scared than you are because he struggles to be a good boyfriend all of the time and just wants to make you feel better <3
He’ll sit by your side and try to talk it out, even if he’s not the best at communication, or talking at all, for that matter.
He might pull out some special fabrics he knows you like to stim with to help calm you down once the worst part is over.
He’ll also pull out some nifty bath bombs to help you relax post-meltdown.
Splendor
He’s so distressed too bc all he wants to do is HUG YOU and give you his love and affection.
But he can’t so he uses his words to try and help you calm down.
He carries some of your stim things and comfort items in his pockets bc he likes them too and it reminds him of you.
He’ll guide you away from the situation at hand, and sit you down in a quiet place, possibly dark too if he can find one.
He doesn’t have any trouble using his words to calm you down, he’s a great talker.
And if this has happened before, he always knows the path he has to take to calm you down correctly.
But once it’s over, he’ll avoid the area of the meltdown and take you somewhere relaxing, probably the bedroom for you to take a nice nap.
Trender: What’s a seahorses best sense?
No one: …
Trender: It’s their sight. Because they are a see-horse. They see.
Everyone else at the meeting table:
Slender: Why the hell are you here? What do you even do?
Trender: I bless you all with my presence, so don’t sass me, fuckhead.
Trender: Do you remember a “Yousef Toungeri”, Slender?
Slender: Wasn’t that the fellow that gave us a feee fish at the mark every week, growing up?
Trender: No, no! That was Josef!
Slender: Then who’s Yousef Toungeri?
Trender: How the hell should I know, it’s addressed to Splendor!
Slender:
Slender: And why are you reading Splendors mail?
Trender: Because all you got were stinkin’ bills!
HC for all four slender brothers s/o being put in hospital by some thugs ✨ thanks ❤️❤️ ily you and your blog
um, IlY TOoO uwu
Slender
It’s not exactly easy to sneak into a hospital when you’re a 6-8ft tall faceless, pale, lampost.
But he’ll go to great measures for his s/o.
Especially when they’re injured.
He’ll probably get one of the proxies to distract the nurse or doctors while he *poofs* into the room.
He makes sure you’re alright first and talks to you in a soothing voice.
He’ll ask if you need/want anything from home.
He’ll stay by your side and kiss your hands as long as he can.
He’ll casually ask for physical features, names, clothing, even voice descriptions of the attackers.
He doesn’t act too suspicious though, just wants to know so you can avoid them.
And possibly talk to them like a gentleman.
He’ll leave when the doctor starts to make his way to the room, and he’ll give you a quick kiss goodbye.
Knowing you’re in good hands gives him a peace of mind while he’s out and about.
He’s a no mercy kind of fellow.
Especially when it comes to others hurting the people he cares about.
Let’s just say they won’t be roaming around town anymore and his suit is beyond salvageable.
Splendor
Immediately by your side,
He grabs whatever he think’s you’ll need from home.
Phone, clothes, tablet/laptop, anything to distract you from your stay at the hospital.
He won’t ask you what happened at first, he’s too focused on making sure you’re well taken care of and that you’re not severely injured.
He’s not the strongest out of all of his brothers, but he can be the scariest.
So you can bet after visiting you for 5 hours, he’s off trying to find who possibly attacked you.
He’ll approach them like a gentleman at first, politely informing them who is s/o is, what their favorite color is, and how they take their coffee.
He’ll drag it out and spiral down into commenting how they won’t care about thee things or how his s/o is injured in the hospital.
He won’t kill them no, no.
But they’ll wish he had.
Trender
“oH My gOd-”
He let’s himself freakout at home after he got the phone call.
He forgets to grab everything he needs.
No phone, no jacket, not even changing out of his sweatpants.
Which is a crime, to say the least.
He’s practically in tears when he sees your state.
He’ll ask if you’re okay even tho you obviously aren’t.
He’ll talk to you, but he doesn’t ask questions about the attack.
He doesn’t want you to relive the traumatizing experience.
He’ll get you some gross cafeteria hospital food.
He’ll promise to protect you and walk you everywhere.
He’s not the violent type, so he won’t go out and do the deed himself.
But once you’re ready to talk, he’ll get the information he needs and relays it onto someone else.
It may be one of his brothers that owes him something, or perhaps someone more trained.
He has some good connections, after all.
Offender
He’ll check on you real quick first.
He has to make sure you’re okay before uhh..running some errands.
His visit isn’t a happy one to say the least.
His tone his flat, and he keeps questioning you about their looks, their voices, anything he’s able to use to be able to track them down.
If you won’t talk about it, he might take a peek into your mind with some classic telepathy to see for himself.
He’ll keep in touch with you by calling, face timing, and texting you, but he’ll be too busy to visit you for longer than ten or fifteen minutes.
After he buys a new coat, he assures you everything has been, “Taken care of” and that you’ll be safe.
He didn’t only go after the attackers, he went after everyone they may or may not be connected to.
He’ll visit you with a much more softer tone, and a bouquet of nice flowers.
He’ll assure you that no one’s out there to hurt you anymore.
Do you have any slender brothers hcs? I absolutely LOVE your blog 💖💖✨
omg i have so many it can probably be a series?? I have years of this pent up LmAO-Ty for coming to my ted talk.
General
Slender is the oldest, followed by Offender, Trender and then Splendor.
Their Mother, who is dubbed Mother, wasn’t around a lot because she was always busy with work and her proxies.
Her proxies didn’t know wtf to do most of the time.
Once they thought they had one under control, two others were trying to sacrifice the youngest (Splendor).
Their skin is so s m o o t h?
Like of like leather texture but s m o o t h and c l e a r
And it kind of sparkles sometimes, especially Slender’s.
Mother usually stops by to check in on her boys at the Manor. She tends to the proxies very well like her own grandchildren.
All of them have different fathers because they either fucking die or ghost her.
Slender
Slender had to half raise most of his brothers.
This is why he’s so well will the folks at the manor in discipline.
He’s the most respectful out of the bunch and tries his best not to offend anyone.
Splendor is his favorite brother but shh don’t tell anyone.
When he’s down, Splendor always tends to find him and cheer him up no matter the situation.
Slender has always had beef with Jeff, maybe it’s because Jeff tried to kill him when offering to take him in.
And then when Slender left him there in the forest, he came crawling to the manor.
He has favoritism towards the proxies, and they tend to get away with things a lot more than they should.
After handing over their will to Slender, Masky and Hoodie made excellent proxies in his opinion. But Toby was the easiest to manipulate.
He gets his power and energy from the souls either he reaps himself, or that the proxies or folks in the manor kill. The souls kind of stick around for a few hours their murderer kills them, so he set up a curfew for killing sprees.
That’s kind of their rent.
Offender
Bad boi™ in his teenage years,
One of the reasons he got all of the *cough* experience he has.
He snuck out of the house constantly when he was a kid.
And sometimes Trender or Splendor tagged along.
He got into alot of trouble when he was both a kid a teenager, and he started shaping up when he reached his adult years because he saw how Trender was starting to take after him.
He goes to bars, usually, to lure in someone lucky for the night.
He gets most of his power and energy from pleasuring people.
Due to that, he’s never assaulted anyone.
Has the longest tongue out of all the brothers, don’t ask how they know that.
He’s non-committal, and get’s anxious when he stays with one s/o for too long because he knows he’s going to outlive them one day. But, if he does find a way to either turn himself human, or turn them immortal, he’d change his life for them.
Trender
He likes his human form better than his original when he goes out.
It means more hairstyle options, make-up and all of that fun stuff.
His room is chaotically organized. If you move something in the mess, he will know.
His room consists of mannequins, small scraps of cloth he refuses to throw away, various loose (DANGerOUs!!) sewing needles, and just random things he find in thrift stores.
He goes thrift shopping to challenge himself to make it into some good and new, and then completely forgets about it/is too lazy to do it.
Kind of whiney like Offender. Also extremely lazy. He just wants to sit in his room all day and watch Netflix or youtube and draw or sew.
There are days where he gets inspiration and actually makes something from scratch, which usually turns out amazing.
Then he gets some dumbass idea like high heeled crocs.
He has an emo/goth phase when it was cool and the rest of his brothers despised him during that era.
He still cringes about it to this day. And Offender does well in reminding him.
He’s so good at makeup and just art in general. He once spent a few hours on Jane and she was able to walk around without her mask. You couldn’t even tell that Jeff had touched her. She cried (both happy and sad) for a good three days after that.
Splendor
Babey boi™
Splendor is half-human, causing Slender not to like him when he first arrived. But he grew on him, much like all small children.
He has freckles!!
His eyes!! Are!! The!! Prettiest!!!!!!!!
They’re pitch black but they have glitter/star-like sparkles in them. And they twinkle!!
Ironically, Splendor is the strongest (and scariest) out of all 4 of them when prompted. He’s just too happy all of the time to let his anger get the best of him.
He carries glitter in his pockets. Not just because of “uwu” glitter, but he’s kind of influenced by Offenders little shit personality and throws it at people to piss them off.
When he was 6, Slender was getting his first job and colored his tie rainbow polka dot. Slender was this ll close to chucking him out the window.
He doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time, but he’s just happy to be there.
His arms start off white at the shoulder and fade into black just above his elbow.
He has claws!! They’re usually painted by Trender or Sally.
Sibling shit the Slender Brothers do
Offender loves to walk into anyone’s room and just knock every down, close laptops, turn off lights, unplug gaming consoles, and just be a nuisance to those around him. Massive middle child energy that always requires attention
Splendor has mastered these gigantic puppy eyes to get what he wants.
Trender absent mindedly straightens shirts and brushes dirt off of the shoulders of friends and family, he was so used to catering to Splendor it carried over into his adult life.
Slender pointing at the ugly painting on the 3rd floor, “That’s you”
Splendor randomly cuddles up to people he likes, and stays there for the next 12 hours and threatens them if they move.
Offender doing that fake punching thing, or the “I’m not touching you.”
Slender locking his brothers outside and then staring at them through the window.
Trender yelling for Slender and then not replying so Slender has to keep saying “what”.
Splendor holding blackmail against l i t e r a l l y everyone he knows, but he only uses it when necessary.
Offender, Trender, and Splendor staring at people for way too long just to aggravate them, more specifically Slender.
Slender physically restraining himself not to fix Tim’s messy hair, or tie Liu’s scarf.
If one of the brothers has a s/o, they’re automatically a sibling-in-law and will now be annoyed by four people at once.
“Slender get out of my room.”
“I’m not in your room.” He is in the doorway.
Slender dragging people off of the couch or chair if they’re in his spot.
Trender hitting Offender and then running away at the speed of light.
Splendor walking into Slenders room at 3 am “slender i threw up”
“Splendor, you’re almost 260 years old. Deal with it yourself.”
“I’m calling mom.”
“waIT NO, would you like some sprite dearest little brother :)?”
Do you have any headcannons for the kind of wired stuff the slender brothers got into as kids/ their sibling dynamic?
Slender Brothers
None of the brothers liked Splendor after he was born.
In fact, Offender and Trender were always finding unique ways to either hide their baby brother in hopes that Mother would forget about him or, just straight up sell him to people on the street.
Neither of these tactics worked, for obvious reasons.
Splendor was just having a ball the entire time though.
Trender found a way to sew him into a cocoon made of the drapes in the entry hall.
Mother came home and immediately saw this lump running in circles, trying to get out of the curtain, laughing the entire time.
We have confirmed that Splendor has, in fact, eaten dirt as a child.
Probably Offender, too, let's be honest.
Splendor is the youngest sibling, so everyone just low key bullied him.
Still does
But he always found a way to passive-aggressively get them back.
Blackmail, for example.
They always try to get along in front of their mom.
To a, make her happy and b, they know they'll get a smack to the head if they don't stop being fools.
Offender got in a physical fight with Slender in his teenage years because Slender ushered his lady-friend out of the house while Offender was using the bathroom.
Offender got pissed, and his first angsty teenage instinct is to start swinging.
He got a few hits on Slender before he got chucked through the kitchen window.
And Splendor and Trender were just standing there with their fruit loops like: 👁️👄👁️
Slender is petty as hell, so he still holds it against him to this day, which is why they're always a little tense around each other.
can i have some hcs of the Slender bros with an S/O that is a HUGE history nerd? the slender bros are like 2 thousand years old so they should have a few things from the past. ex: her asking Trender about 1800s fashion and him giving her a dress from that era
Slender
brO.
Slender has SO MANY STORIEs.
He’s witnessed wars, countries changing form, the industrial revolution, and just generally the evolution of humans over the time that he’s been alive.
He tells Sally stories of his life and things that he’s seen to lull her to sleep.
And he has a good voice so you know that shit’ll knock her out.
Wars, language, food and even era-specific accessories are some hot topics of stories.
He’s happy to recall a lot of mischief he caused.
Such as maybe framing a few women in the Salem Witch Trials on accident.
And mayyyybe accidentally crashing a few steam trains.
“And wars…Damn, I miss those.”
Offender
“Dude, ankles??? Kinda scandalous ngl.”
Offender really knows a lot about how fashion and looks, in general, have changed.
“pUt YA ANkLe AWaY bEfore I Call YOu a rAsCaL”
He’s been around where ankles were hidden, and he recalls when women used to flash some nice SOCKS at him on the street.
He still doesn’t understand the trend of pointy bras.
And corsets for that matter.
They were always a pain in the ass to get off, and he always had to help them put it back on.
He just stayed from the waist down in his historic lovers.
Not that you needed to hear all of that from your boyfriend.
Trender
Listen-
This dude was a party animal in the 1920s
He was always going out and having a good time and swinging,
He also drank a lot of champagne and just generally had everything except a lampshade on his head.
A lot of his more fancy looks are still inspired by that time period.
ex. Accent of long pearls or possibly a feathered headpiece
But he’s worked as a tailor throughout the ages, the 20s were basically his time off.
If you wanted any era-specific clothing, he’ll be sure to whip something up!
Maybe even with a modern twist, who knows?
Splendor
He’s very much into the entertainment industry.
Ranging from circuses, street performing mimes, preachers, even artists painting on the side of roadways.
There’s a lot of things he’s willing to recall.
He’ll tell you about how amazed people were at a sight of a giant elephant at a zoo, or artists that made their living by making people laugh.
Splendor didn’t go to many parties, but he did hang out in a few wholesome bars where everyone was allowed to be themselves.
Splendor actually took part in photography in it’s early years of development and always cracked a joke right before he took a picture to make the person smile, instead of looking all stoic.
Slenderman HC how to get him in the mood and how he gets his s/o in the mood, and what does he do if they say no?
Slender {NSFW mention}
Step 1: Sit on lap
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit.
He’s an easy man to please, and if his s/o sits on his lap while he’s working, he’ll give in real easily to the distraction.
Or he’ll pretend to shoo them away and then call them back.
Also, any thigh-high stockings really tend to capture his attention.
So, struct in his office with some nylons, and sit on his lap, wrap your arms around his neck and tell him how much you’ve missed him all day, and he won’t be able to resist you.
He’s a romantic guy, so he’ll most likely kiss ass all day for an amazing night to follow.
But if it happens to be an unplanned thing, you can easily find his mood by his actions.
Light touches on your hips, a kiss on the neck that lasts a second too long, and hushed whispers about how he’ll treat you once you get some alone time.
He doesn’t beat around the bush too much when it comes to mentioning his needs.
If they say no, he’ll pout on his own for a little bit.
And maybe sulk at the window.
He’ll also be kind of petty,
“It’s not like I finished work early or anything-”
Just snide little comments that make you glare in his direction.
He shuts up quickly, after you do that, though.
He’ll just jerk one out to alleviate himself, although he’d much rather have you there with him to help.
can we get some slenderman x s/o cuddling/sleeping together headcanons! like how they cuddle each other in bed, how they manage to sleep together, whether slender sleeps stiff or flips and turns; anything like that ^^ - ☆
Not like there's an issue where they couldn't sleep together?? Obviously any non-humans have beds that are big enough to fit them~ Slender is over 7 feet tall, he's not sleeping on a normal human bed
That counts on IF you can even get him into bed. Slender is a certified workaholic and there are many nights where you go to bed alone and wake up alone. It's an unfortunate part of being in a relationship with him, but at least 4/7 nights in the week you'll probably be alone in your bed, depending on the time of year.
When he is in bed with you, Slender doesn't move. His body tends to be as exhausted as his mind, and whatever position he settles down in, he's going to wake up in. Slender tends to spoon you on most nights, whether you're snuggled into his chest or if he's wrapped around you, that's generally the default position. Slender doesn't ever let you spoon him because his back is a spot of weakness for him (power-wise), and if he wakes up like that he'll probably get pissy and shift away from you. His favorite position is just to have you in his arms, as holding onto you relaxes him.
His favorite thing in the morning when he wakes up is to just watch you for a bit. You look so cute to him when you're sleeping, so content, so happy, so peaceful, and he'll lay there lovingly gazing at you for a few minutes before he has to wake up officially for the day and start his job. The sight of your face is his absolute favorite thing to wake up to, and he likes to say that it's the best way for him to start the day.
Slender Man headcanons?
Slenderman Headcanons
Ooh boy
Probably not the worst boss in the world, not the best one either.
He's so emotionally cold. He tells jokes all the time but no one can tell.
He's about 14 feet tall 😬
He likes to go out and find Proxies and Housemates himself.
He always forgets who he sends on missions and Masky always has to plan it 🤣
He's actually a pretty good father figure. If there were more Slender-type beings I'm sure he would have a couple of kids by now.
Super family oriented, won't admit it.
Sometimes he takes in new Proxies just to baby them. They end up dying quickly though because they think they're safe from him.
He always knows who's in the mansion and who isn't.
He works on the very top floor of the mansion.
Doesn't really need sleep, so he uses his time for virtual meetings with other Urban Legends and High Status Pastas.
Him, Zalgo, and Puppeteer have a FEUD.
No they won't talk good about one another. If you ask what it is, they grumble. 😬
In reality, they're all just power hungry. :/
Doesn't really like the demons in the mansion, but they are good workers, so he keeps them around.
Slender would 100% use his tendrils to do shit. Yes they make the pasta's heads hurt.
Does he give a shit? No.
Since he technically makes the Proxies work, he pays them. Nobody knows where this money is from.
Hint, he robs banks.
Slender used to have an emo-type phase when he was about 6,000 years old. There's drawings of it.
Kills those who find out about the mansion and their loved ones. If you're not dead, chances are you are going to become a Proxy.
He likes to knit items for the housemates. He made Jeff a beanie. Jeff wears it in winter. :>
He is also surprisingly good at cooking, but makes Sadie do it.
I hope these were okay!
Slenderman Headcanons?
- He has 2 sides.
- The side that is maternal and wishes for kin
- And the fighting secluded side we all see
- He can be exceedingly kind to some. Almost acting as a rearing figure.
- Will let the exceedingly rare few he actually enjoys the company of, lean against him to rest.
- Sometimes he wishes to be a father of sorts. But knows that would not be smart. So he finds solace in “raising” his boys.
- Teach then to be smart. Teach them to be strong. Teach them to love these woods.
- Very protective of what he calls his own.
- Does not talk how you would think. You can hear and talk to him yes. But it’s telepathic. He can choose wether or not the rest of the room can hear him or just one person
- He can contact his proxies at any time, anywhere through their minds. He can make them see things.
- Enjoys staying in his office to rummage through old documents from the before times, and to walk through his woods. He likes it there.
- He enjoys poetry. Do not tell. Is secret.
- Very mature humor
- Does not laugh at dirty jokes
- Respect both genders.
- Respect HIM
- Would prefer no one to have premarital sex in his household.
- Cannot cook well. Can cook to provide Necessary nutrients though.
- knows how to stitch up a wound like it’s no ones business
Wanna do it again? 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍✨😏😁🤭😋😌😉☺️🤣😂👀👉🏻👈🏻
It's about to be a white Christmas...😏
*Throws snowballs at @consult-sherlockholmes, @criminalisticonsultant and @consult-johnhwatson* SNOWBALL FIGHT!!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😏😁🤭😋😌😉☺️🤣😂👀👉🏻👈🏻
It's about to be a white Christmas...😏
so maybe im just not british but nobody says “tickety boo” or “get a wiggle on” literally ever so consider Aziraphale just kind of,,, makes phrases up in his head and forgets that they’re not Things People Say.
like he’s bickering with crowley and accidentally slips some weird shit like “put your teeth on a leash right now” and crowley just is like “what the fuck, angel.”
//I'm alive!!! Sorry this took so long, anon!!! Likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated!//
tw: smut
Aziraphale:
Praise Kink: You better believe that this angel has a praise kink. He loves this kink, both giving and receiving, but he absolutely loves to enrapture you with compliment after compliment while pleasuring you. He'll fuck you gently while whispering praises in your ear. Praises about how beautiful you look underneath him, how cute your soft moans are, how you mean the world to him, etc.
Bondage: He likes to tie you up but not in a BDSM sort of way. He won't use ropes but instead uses silk ribbon to tie you down. He thinks you look more elegant that way. When he's done wrapping the ribbon around your naked body, he'll coo at you and say, "Look at you, my sweet... You look like a present that's waiting to be unwrapped... just for me!"
Edgeplay: This is his way of punishing you when you're being naughty. This form of punishment will go hand-in-hand with his bondage kink. While you're tied up, looking all cute and helpless, he'll edge you over and over until you're sobbing and begging for release. He'll edge you using his fingers or maybe his tongue, but his favorite way to edge you is by using a vibrator because it makes you more desperate for his touch.
Petplay: He probably won't ever admit it out loud but he has a thing for the master/pet dynamic. He'd have you wear a cute headband with fuzzy cat ears attached. He also loves to picture you in a pretty pastel colored collar with a leash attached. Will definitely call you his "pet" or his "pretty kitty."
Thigh-Highs: I headcanon Aziraphale as someone who really likes thighs. To squeeze them, kiss them, nip at them, it doesn't matter. If he were to come home to you lying on your shared bed, waiting for him in nothing but thigh-highs, expect him to be between your legs for hours worshipping you.
Tags: @aethersghoulette @crowleys-poppet-queen-of-assgard @rosefairyirl @duchessvonfingerbang @care-a-lot-comfort @imkloeyjarvis
Hey could I get some good omens content? Maybe Aziraphale x fem reader headcanons?
sorry for getting to this so late!
- if you have long hair this boy will definitely braid it all the time.
- if he gets attached he will stick to you like glue.
- he always is attempting to get you to smile.
- is a total cuddler
- his main nickname for you would be darling or sweetheart
- it is very easy to fluster him
- if you’re into reading he will find you very old books
- if you get sick he will not leave your side until you get better
- he was very flustered the first time you called him baby
- he tries to keep pda to a minimum around Crowley, but he sometimes slips up :)
- if he ever gets jealous just pepper him in kisses
- gives the best birthday gifts
- he’s not much of a flirter but when he does prepare to be flustered
- loves to carry you either it be in his arms or on his back
- if you’re ever sad he will cuddle with you and attempt to get you to laugh
- if ya’ll ever fight just make sure to give him space, he’ll come around
PDA Headcanons for Crowley & Aziraphale (gender-neutral reader)
Crowley:
Super comfortable with public displays of affection. Only if he knows you’re also comfortable with it, of course.
He likes letting other people know you’re his (and, vice versa, that he’s yours).
Touchy. VERY touchy. Like one or more of his hands are probably on you at all times.
He likes having his arm around your shoulders (bonus points if you are quite a bit shorter than him - he likes the feeling that he’s keeping you safe.)
If you’re sitting down in a public place (like a park bench, for example) do not think he won’t pull you into his lap. Because he will. All the time.
He will grab your ass in public. He will probably do it discreetly, but he does it just to make you blush and get all flustered.
Constant use of petnames. Sweetheart is his favourite.
Absolutely not ashamed to kiss you in public. Like he will do it a lot. Not just your lips either. Cheeks? Yep. Neck? Y E P. If you have skin showing, Crowley wants to have his mouth there.
More than once he has kissed you, pinned you against a wall on some discreet London corner and things got a little too heated. Cue the two of you rushing back to the Bentley to get to somewhere a little more private 👀
Aziraphale:
Definitely not as confident about PDA as Crowley, but that doesn’t mean he won’t show you any affection in public. He’s just more subtle about it.
Hand holding. Literally his favourite thing to do ever. Does that thing where he rubs little circles into your hand with his thumb !!!
If you lean your head into his arm/shoulder when you’re walking and holding hands?? This angel will straight up melt.
Also likes using petnames on you, though Aziraphale prefers the more traditional “my dear/darling”.
I mean he’s just a good old fashioned gentleman. Holds doors open for you, never lets you carry anything ever even if you insist you’re fine.
You’re cold? He’ll be wrapping his jacket around your shoulders before you can even start shivering.
Will still give you forehead kisses and probably also kiss the back of your hand because he is SOFT AF.
One day you surprise him with a kiss on the lips whilst you’re out for a stroll and he goes red and probably starts tripping over his own feet but is grinning the whole way home.
Damn right, they do! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍✨💯😂🤣🤤😏😁🤭😋😌😉☺️🙂👀👉🏻👈🏻
The best booty calls have 8 legs.
I'll take that as a yes! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🙂☺️😉😌🤤😏😁🤭😋💯👀👉🏻👈🏻
merry crimemas, what crime are you planning on committing?
sodomy
Want me to scramble over to your place? I bet there are some really nice flies around with all these corpses od dead humans! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🙂☺️😉😌🤤😏😁🤭😋💯👀👉🏻👈🏻
merry crimemas, what crime are you planning on committing?
sodomy
...Should I be worried? 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🙂🥺🥹🤨😳😉😌☺️😅😂🤣✨💯👀👉🏻👈🏻
merry crimemas, what crime are you planning on committing?
sodomy
Well, it's still better than being called a "web puppy" in my opinion... 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🙂🥺🥹🤨😳😉😌☺️💯👀👉🏻👈🏻
sherlock....i don't think people mean eat you like that
Then how do they mean it?
That's true! But I could observe more than once that after a male human said such things to a female human, it often will result in mating! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😁😳😉😌☺️😏💯👀👉🏻👈🏻
sherlock....i don't think people mean eat you like that
Then how do they mean it?
I think, it may be some type of mating call! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😁😳😉😌☺️😏🤣😂💯👀✨👉🏻👈🏻
sherlock....i don't think people mean eat you like that
Then how do they mean it?
Hey! My exoskeleton is ✨fabulous✨! Besides, I bet these canibalso were on a diet! Much like your brother, but with my dicipline! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😁😳😉😋🥳🤣😂🙂😇😌☺️😏💯👀👉🏻👈🏻
I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?
Uh, cauterize it?
I would never eat you though, @consult-sherlockholmes! You're practically just skin and bones! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🤭😁☺️😳😉😋🥳🤣😂😌🙂🥺💯👀👉🏻👈🏻
I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?
Uh, cauterize it?
Yay! So were you able to help that anon with his cut off dong, @consult-johnhwatson? Or is that thing free to use as food? Never tried human dick before... 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😂🤣😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻
I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?
Uh, cauterize it?
87 + 107? with mycroft? please?
Pairing: Mycroft Holmes x ReaderFandom: BBC SherlockWarnings: /Genre: fluff ; humor
Summary: “My family wants to meet you.” + “What are you smiling for?”
A/N: thank you my love (added mycroft to my fandoms page) (NO MORE PLEASE, ONLY FINISHING THOSE IN MY INBOX)
*****
Youlooked up from the file in front of you, when the door to your officegot opened and smiled at Mycroft, “Well, well.. to what do I owethe pleasure?”
“Areyou busy?”
“No more than usual,” you leaned back in your chair and watched himtake a seat across from you, “What is it?”
Mycroftlooked nervous. And that wasn’t something you were used to and itmade you nervous as well.
“Rememberhow we discussed not making our relationship public, due to workrelated issues and also my family?”
“Yes?”
“Sherlockhas found out about it.”
Youdrew your eyebrows together, but were still calm, “How?”
“Ithink he might have gone through my phone the last time he was here.Anyways, when we were at my parents’ place last weekend, he suddenlystarted talking about it. Told them everything there was to knowabout you.”
“He did what?”
Weiterlesen
I know, but at least I can get away with canabalism without being put in prison! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍💯🤭😂🤣😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻
I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?
Uh, cauterize it?