When Thinking About Life,

What I've learned throughout my 20's

1. Don't tell your family everything. it will backfire.

2. Don't tell your closest friends everything. it will backfire.

3. Never tell anyone about how much you have in your account. that's only for you and the bank to know.

4. Work hard in silence.

5. Don't chase men. Chase your goals.

6. Don't be too kind. not everyone has your heart.

7. There will never be anyone like you.

8. Read as many books as you can. Knowledge is power.

9. Wear sunscreen every single day. your skin will thank you later on.

10. Prioritize solitude time. your soul needs it.

11. Try to eat at home more often, the food is surrounded by your own energy.

12. Don't wake up to your phone screen. What are you going to get out of that?

13. Just like binge eating, binge watching is also not healthy. Go live!

14. Water is your best friend.

15. Education will never leave you.

16. Say how you feel once. and only once. if you find yourself repeating the same things, they don't care.

17. Everyday is a special occasion, because you're alive.

18. You know yourself better than anyone ever will. So who cares about those who judge you, their opinions aren't paying you.

19. Abusive men don't change. they just change their tactics.

20. It's better to say no than to feel uncomfortable.

21. Social media is a commercial.

22. If you lost yourself, you will find a way back.

23. Listen to your inner child. She needs you and you need her.

24. Love who you are no matter what state you are in.

Source - exhalefierceness

☝🏽👌🏽

And to work hard, it includes self-discipline and consistency.

“Difficult doesn’t mean impossible. It simply means you have to work hard.”

— Unknown

Princess Tips

No matter what you look like, genuine kindness and good thoughts will shine through your face and make it look soft and beautiful

Rub a little moisturizer onto your cheekbones each morning to make your skin glow 

Use pink eyeshadow during the day for an angelic look and gold eyeshadow for royal evening events

Dress in clothes that fit well and make you feel good. Make sure you wash them on the proper settings so they don’t fade or shrink and cut away loose threads 

Practice good posture! You can’t look regal with your shoulders hunched or your head down (your imaginary tiara will fall off)

Speaking of tiaras, you can replicate this look on a daily basis by putting in a sparkly hair clip or two

Always be kind and compassionate to animals and children- even consider volunteering

You don’t need a lot of possessions to be royal, you just need to take care of what you have (go for quality over quantity when it comes to home decor and clothes)

Practice your hobbies and skills to be sophisticated and classy

Study hard in school since princesses are always well educated

Sing or dance around a little while doing boring household chores

Be polite to people but also know your worth with a quiet dignity and don’t tolerate being treated badly

Remember you’re a princess no matter what!

Mindset

You can have anything you want if you’re willing to give up everything for it. If you honestly want to live lavish, be drenched in designer couture, go on exotic vacations, you can. If you want something badly enough, you can find a way to get it. It might be harder for you. You may have to get it a different way than other people, but you will to find a way to achieve what you want. You live the life you chose, even if it’s not the life you say you want. I apologize for being harsh but victimhood, making excuses, and pitying yourself will get you nowhere. I gave up my entire life to be able to live how I do now. My family doesn’t speak to me because of my choice to do better. Most of my friends, the same. I don’t care. I value money, material things, opulent experiences, and financial freedom higher than I value people who don’t care to see me happy or fulfilled. I have made sacrifices. I have given up once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. What haven’t made, is excuses. I don’t feel bad for myself. I don’t play the victim because quite frankly, no matter how you frame it, I’m not. On that note, you’re probably not either. I’m not discounting anyone’s trauma, but it’s not an excuse to let yourself fail and in return hate others who forced themselves to succeed. If you want to do something, go make it happen. Stop making excuses. Stop blaming your trauma. Stop blaming the situation you were born into. Stop saying you can’t, or it doesn’t work like that for you, or you’ll never be able to do that because it’s just not true. There are things in this world that you cannot control. But you do have complete control over the way in which you chose to live your life. Manifest it. Align yourself accordingly. And start doing the things you want to do. Start being the person you say you want to be. 

This is one of the days when I can't sleep in peace because there's a lot of things in my mind that I can't help but have a conversation with myself.

I know am hurt. I want to be petty and complain.

But I'm also trying to forgive by giving myself reason on why I should.

Thesis 101: Condensed version

In my experience, there is always someone somewhere starting their thesis, or struggling to the thesis finish line, or stuck in that middle part where it’s hard work without the reward. If you are just getting started on your thesis (or another big project) and you feel a bit lost and overwhelmed: fear not, I have your back. I created a list of tips that I found useful while writing my MSc thesis (psychology).

Let me know if this was helpful and if you want more. I originally wanted to post a whole series of tips on different stages of the thesis process, so consider this the drastically condensed version of that.

Getting started

Find a lab that works on a topic that interests you and with a team that you feel comfortable with.

Make sure you know where to go with questions and get to know the structure.

Set up your goals from the beginning and make a planning.

The best thing you can do at the beginning of your thesis is figure out what you want, what your university requires, and how the project works.

Planning

Create a list of all the steps you need to take to finish your thesis and divide them over the time (months, weeks?) that you have until the deadline.

At the very beginning, discuss this schedule with your supervisor.

Create in-between deadlines, with your supervisor and also with yourself.

At the beginning of each month, write down what you should do each week.

At the beginning of each week, write down what you should do each day.

Make a list of things you need to do each day, preferably the night before, so you can start right when you sit down.

You could even calendar block if that’s your cup of tea.

Steps

Here’s an example from a psychology graduate (me):

Literature search/brain storm

Research question, hypotheses

Summarizing results into proposal

Make a plan

Learn how to analyze data

Execute plan (e.g., data collection)

Analyse data

Write down results

Draw conclusion

Revision, feedback, revision, feedback, revision!

 Reflection

Every week (or at whatever interval you prefer), sit down for 20 minutes and reflect on your progress. Ask yourself:

What did I do this week?

What went well?

What did not go as planned?

What can I do to improve next week?

What is on my to do list for the next week? What’s my focus? Are there things on the long run that I need to start working on?

Reflection keeps you on track but also allows you to think about what you learned in the process.

The problem is a lot of people are scared to fail. They opt for not doing anything at all so their ego doesn’t get hurt. If you can’t risk failing you’ll never win. How can you commit to anything & succeed if you can’t even commit to yourself & conquer your feelings.

I recently read somewhere, "Maybe gossips are envy in disguise".

I think we need to stop talking about others in a negative light because we don't see their pain or struggles.

If they gossip with you, they will also gossip about you.