Zephiris - Another Transfem Programmer

Fuck.

Being autistic feels like having to emulate brain hardware that most other people have. Being allistic is like having a social chip in the brain that handles converting thoughts into social communication and vice versa while being autistic is like using the CPU to essentially emulate what that social chip does in allistic people.

Skip this paragraph if you know about video codec hardware on GPUs. Similarly, some computers have hardware chips specifically meant for encoding and decoding specific video formats like H.264 (usually located in the GPU), while other computers might not have those chips built in meaning that encoding and decoding videos must be done “by hand” on the CPU. That means it usually takes longer but is also usually more configurable, meaning that the output quality of the CPU method can sometimes surpass the hardware chip’s output quality depending on the settings set for the CPU encoding.

In conclusion, video codec encoding and decoding for computers is to social encoding and decoding for autistic/allistic people.

I just thought to myself ‘wait are capacitors used to hold charge in devices’ then thought ‘no that’s stupid the charge would run out near instantly’ then thought ‘but wait the time constant might be really really big’ then thought ‘no because then it would take ages to charge’ but THEN thought ‘WAIT BUT YOU COULD HAVE ONE CAPACITOR THAT QUICKLY CHARGES AND THEN ONCE THE CHARGER IS DISCONNECTED IT DISCHARGES INTO CAPACITORS WITH REALLY LONG TIME CONSTANTS SO THEY RELEASE THE CHARGE OVER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME???’ But no just use a rechargeable battery

Why don't you take Spiro anymore? (You mentioned this in a recent post)

My T is sufficiently suppressed without it. Estrogen and Testosterone inhibit each other through indirect pathways- both signal the hypothalamus and pituitary, which in turn signal the testes/ovaries to produce more or less of their hormone. Unfortunately, T is a more potent suppressor of E than vice versa, so a blocker is needed to drop T levels at first (usually), which then lets E get high. Once E is high enough, then it can suppress T production on its own. For me specifically, I've never had a problem suppressing T, especially later into HRT when my E was getting somewhat higher. Even after quitting spiro, my T has never gotten above 20 ng/dL, and is mostly around 15 ng/dL, which is on the low side of normal even for cis women. AA in general are theoretically unnecessary once E is high enough to suppress T on their own, but this varies strongly dependent on the individual hormone metabolism from person to person. Fun fact, this is also why masculinizing hormone therapy is way simpler than feminizing hormone therapy- T is potent enough to inhibit E right off the bat without extra help.

Personal consideration to add here: I'm quickly learning that I'm a rapid metabolizer, along with about 20-30% of the human population. Essentially this means that most medication has shorter effect periods on me, and I believe it also has had an effect on how effectively my T got suppressed. My T levels were low almost immediately when I started HRT, and I started with spiro. But, the price I had to pay is that its taken forever for my E to go up. With that in mind, I realized that for me specifically, I didn't have to worry about my T going back up if my E wasn't high enough yet.

The above are about why I felt spiro was unnecessary, but why not take it just in case? Simple- side effects. I was having very noticeable diuretic side effects to the point where it interfered with my usual routines, so I tried to quit as soon as I could. Once I quit, a brain fog that I didn't even notice was there, lifted. I was having a lot of issues that I now realize were due to low sodium- my energetics were fucked, my vision was getting hazy when I stood up, and my heart pounded in situations it didn't need to. When I quit spiro, these stopped almost immediately, and I realized that these were side effects that I hadn't even registered as side effects.

These were considerations I made based on my own personal situation, but hopefully it helps. I haven't been on an AA since February or so. I actually just got a levels test back (spreadsheet update pending) and it confirms that my T has been within cis female ranges since early October, and on the low side of cis female ranges since early November.

In my personal opinion, AAs should be used more conservatively than it currently is, but are still necessary for HRT. My ideal HRT based on papers I've seen, personal experience, and conversations with my provider is essentially: brief period of E monotherapy-> E+AA until T is suppressed and E levels are high -> E monotherapy -> additional considerations (like prog). This is not coming from a medical perspective, though, just an anecdotal one.

The atmosphere is one giant chandelier, lit up every morning by the sun from the east, scattering the sun’s warmth across the earth. Even looking west on a morning, you can still feel the sun warming your face, thanks to the atmosphere.

zephiris.me

Zephiris.Me

Learn about my name!

It also lists our what I’m currently working on and what I’ve worked on in the past!

My friend’s little brother (non-verbal) used to hide people’s shoes if he liked the person, because it meant they had to stay longer. The more difficult it was to find your shoes, the more he liked you.

One day my cousin came over, and she was a bitch. When it was time to leave, my friend’s brother handed her shoes directly to her and she went on and on about how he must have a crush on her because he only “helped” her.

every software is like. your mission-critical app requires you to use the scrimble protocol to squeeb some snorble files for sprongle expressions. do you use:

libsnorble-2-dev, a C library that the author only distributes as source code and therefore must be compiled from source using CMake

Squeeb.js, which sort of has most of the features you want, but requires about a gigabyte of Node dependencies and has only been in development for eight months and has 4.7k open issues on Github

Squeeh.js, a typosquatting trojan that uses your GPU to mine crypto if you install it by mistake

Sprongloxide, a Rust crate beloved by its fanatical userbase, which has been in version 0.9.* for about four years, and is actually just a thin wrapper for libsnorble-2-dev

GNU Scrimble, a GPLv3-licensed command-line tool maintained by the Free Software Foundation, which has over a hundred different flags, and also comes with an integrated Lisp interpreter for scripting, and also a TUI-based Pong implementation as an "easter egg", and also supports CSV, XML, JSON, PDF, XLSX, and even HTML files, but does not actually come with support for squeebing snorble files for ideological reasons. it does have a boomeresque drawing of a grinning meerkat as its logo, though

Microsoft Scrimble Framework Core, a .NET library that has all the features you need and more, but costs $399 anually and comes with a proprietary licensing agreement that grants Microsoft the right to tattoo advertisements on the inside of your eyelids

snorblite, a full-featured Perl module which is entirely developed and maintained by a single guy who is completely insane and constantly makes blog posts about how much he hates the ATF and the "woke mind-virus", but everyone uses it because it has all the features you need and is distributed under the MIT license

Google Squeebular (deprecated since 2017)

It should be illegal to require that any device or software connect to the internet just to run. I shouldn't need to log in with microsoft to open any of their programs on my local computer. All games should be playable without access to an online server. All media you pay for should be downloadable to local disk as a raw file and if they don't like that because they know you'll share it and upload it, tough shit. They took your money already, they'll live.

I have a question: has anyone else tried using their boobs’ nipples to scroll on a touchscreen or is this an insane person activity I have just attempted?

I tried to google it but it’s a pretty unsearchable query.