Borderline - Blog Posts

I'm dancing in the rain so no one can see me crying.

What are your three favourite bands? (I know it's hard to choose but at least to have an idea)

I think I have a very unusual taste in music.It's a bit hard to answer, because I don't commit myself to a band or music genre, but rather to individual songs. It depends on the mood I'm in.Flight Facilities, Flume and Metronomy are worth a shot though.

There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.

At some point, the time may come when you can't go any further on your own anymore. In other words: I need help. Admitting that isn't easy sometimes. But why go the hard way alone?

Someone’s always there for you. No matter what.

Responsibility

As long as I do not take full responsibility for myself, I will continue to wander the world, hoping to find my happiness somewhere. But where should I look if not in me? The avoidance and evasion of unpleasant feelings increasingly reduces one's own room for maneuver. Running away cannot be a permanent solution.

There’s a dark cloud covering the great sun you are. After it lifts, you’ll be shining.

Depression can be a fresh start. By learning to feel myself better again, I can change the direction of my life. Maybe more humility is called for again. Maybe I can stop and ask myself what really matters.

Emotions are my teachers

At some point we have to face it. The only question seems to be just when. My emotions can only control me as long as I don't want to admit them. They are a way to get to know me better. Emotions show me how well I can deal with situations. Emotions are a measure of my own development.

I had stopped feeling, feeling what my emotions wanted to tell me. Eventually the pressure became so strong that I couldn’t ignore it. And I was amazed at how big the emotional memory of my subconscious seems to be. I was getting more and more aware that I couldn’t run away from myself.

Experience is Wisdom

Shame is often the companion of weakness, because lying on the floor it is difficult to preserve dignity. Suddenly I sense how others have to feel at such moments. You want understanding, not advice. For a long time, I was just looking at the nice feelings. I want to walk through life in a good mood. What am I supposed to do with sadness and fear? I denied myself and my feelings.

Being on the ground also has something soothing about it. I can't get any lower. The play is over. I don't have to fool myself anymore. It's hard for me to see myself weak. Suddenly, I'm not the one who's there for others anymore. I need to ask for help. Being vulnerable is unusual to me.

Depression is telling you a boldface lie and dressing it as truth.

Suddenly the soul no longer plays along. My body feels empty. Don’t be like that, I tell myself. Hang in there, you won’t let it get you down. I’m trying to play cool. But that costs additional strength. Darkness comes more and more often. My gaze is empty. My body’s getting heavy. I can’t hide it anymore. The abyss captivates me.

I would never ask you to wear a mask for me in order to hide what you’re going through. I love you, no matter what.

Płuca znowu pełne dymu a serce znów puste. Zasługuję na samotność i na duszy bruzdę..

Pomocy?