Writerscreedchallenge - Blog Posts

When the divine was Forming me up in The heavens I was born a soul

Given a body To puppet To express myself To shape ideas

I was given a heart Because I was love Made physical A being of passion

Taught language To write To create worlds Of flowing emotion

I was gifted curiosity A spiritual journey Unfolding within As joy and wonder

In the womb I grew a brain As an afterthought Or maybe by mistake

The art of letting go

Do you ever sit and reflect on everything that you've been feeling lately ?

It's both

relieving and painful

To give another thought

To the feelings inside of you.

You carry it ,

Forgetting it's weight

And when you sort your

Feelings out at the end of the day,

You're left with a handful of laughs

And a whole lot of pain.

Because you know

Deep in your heart

That a moment like this won't ever come again.

And the people in your memories

Wont stop for you

They'll live on

And so will you.

And those few who don't,

They keep you rooted in their love

You cannot find a way out of them

Because they've stopped,

Not necessarily for you

But for good.

And just know

That you can't always let them go.

Because what they made you feel

will live on

Even when they aren't here

To rekindle that emotion inside of you.

Umbra

There were Shadows around

Sucking light like hungry souls for another being

and you kept diving deeper,

keeping away

Shining and resilient

For a dark night or two

But there were eclipses burning holes in you,

Gnawing at you

Fragment by fragment.

The impenetrable umbra,

Burned you to ashes

But your plight remained indifferent.

So maybe pull yourself together

The red moon will start fires

And we will start anew.

I plug in my earphones with no music switched on

The night slowly turned mellow.

The embrace of my best friend's mother

and the timing of my google photo notifications

just feels like a hug and a salp at the same time.

I gaze at pictures of the sky,

my phone chimes again

It's the reminder I had set to call my parents.

I swipe it away and brush off my thoughts

I do not have the energy to dial the number

and deal with both of them.

I continue looking at the image from last year,

a time when I was at a stranger's house

as I didn't wanna go home

I saw how juggling between multiple things,

multitasking, studying and working

were all pins to my shoulder

pinned with pride and a pinch of salt.

I remember how I was happy for the lack of time

to think, to feel and to contemplate.

But then going home, going back to that house

having to live with the person

whose house I left years ago.

scared me in a way I didn't know of

It made me want to leave even before reaching

It made me want the plane to crash

the car to stumble

the road to split.

It scared me that staying under the same roof

would scratch wounds that had become scars

would lead to conversations that would end to fights

I reached the building she called home and I called house

I remember how she would want to embrace me in a hug and I'd stand still

I remember how she wanted to know the people in my life

and how she wasn't a part of it

I remember how she had faded from all of it

While I stab my toe on the way to find my notebook to scribble this down

My phone chimes of the reminder to sleep

I still stare at the notification.

I miss the person I don't want in life.

I woke up to bad news today,

I slept with my head spinning, when the world and my cozy little cocoon, both shattered.

I saw the disclaimer on the Instagram story.

Yet, I choose to watch it.

I twisted and turned in my bed, my last alarm rang. I had to leave or I'd be late for work.

I drag myself to the shower, the drops of water started dripping, my shoulder getting drenched. Drop by drop. Like people falling off an airplane

I came out, wore my cutest shirt, a gift from a rather someone. My eyes went moist. I picked up my hairbrush, hoping to brush more than my hair.

I packed my lunch box, made a face when there was upma for breakfast, ate cold cornflakes watching something funny on Netflix.

I rush to office, take my laptop out. The charger that'll sustain the day. My red thermal coffee flask with the black coffee for the day, the blue book and a pen I borrowed from someone.

I sit down, let out a sigh, and switched on my laptop to an array of emails to reply to.

Why are people working beyond work hours I wondered, maybe I should too, I thought for a second.

The sticky notes on my laptop reminded me of my two other jobs, with broken earphones, the day drifted without music to shush my thoughts. Someone passes the hallway wearing the same perfume that a boy I knew wears. Shattered promises, lucid dreams fake smiles and bike rides all rushed to my head.

In a rather larger, emptier office I started communicating to innamimate things and cleared the notifications of burning forests, dying animals and women in veils.

I haven't been able to eat. I haven't been able to sleep. My head questioning everything everyone did.

While I've come back to my rather comfortable room, cold milk, gazal songs and some cigarettes I move time to another day for some better food and strong coffee.

My phone beeps, i slide the notification and lie down on an empty terrace with sounds of traffic, a dog barking on the corner of the street and a thousand thoughts.

Have you ever felt so lost

That the only company you find is the smoke from the cigarette

And when the bud touches your lips, it's the closest you've got to open your mounth

To spill out words.

You come back round and round,

To the same place, you think you're lost at

But you're back where you started.

Maybe you're here

And that's where you should be.

You vent to the open sky

The smoke comes back and hits your eyes

And the bud that burns your lips.

Sometimes the solitude is the company you want

And the company you want waits for you

Somewhere lost in the same circle.

You go back and they turn the other way.

You're lost finding them

And they're lost hoping to find you.

Sometimes you think you wanted this

And other times you think you don't.

Sometimes you don't have the energy to do it

And when you do. You don't find the people you pushed long time ago.

Sometimes you feel this was how it was supposed to be.

And other times you don't have the energy to undo any of it.

Only if life was as easier as control Z

And a fresh sheet pops up and you can write it all over again

The mornings have been lazy lately,

with disturbed patterns of sleep,

you wonder when you go to sleep and when you wake up.

.

But the mornings these days are also tremendously beautiful,

the sunlight hitting you just the right amount through the windows

the tree outside that’s blooming,

leaving just the right amount of flowers on the ground.

.

The birds chirruping outside breaking the silence,

the squirrels cry out of joy,

all of them coming out at the right time.

.

The evening strolls in the terrace,

with my coffee in hand,

the book I’m reading,

yet again the birds and  the wind that brings in peace.

.

And then today came the first of summer rains,

the birds all flying with a sudden alarm,

they welcome the rain even before we know of it,

the eagles flying above the clouds, welcoming the warmth.

.

The petrichor hitting me first even before the drops of rain,

I let them fall on my face,

the heat comes down

there is this sudden chillness in the atmosphere,

and then it rains heavily.......

.

I sit down enjoying the rainfall, 

finishing my book,

wanting to write about it all,

but it’s worth the wait.

I wanted to take it all in.

.

with rain came the wind,

the lighting and thunder,

the sun who went into hiding

comes back with company,

.

the colors of

violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange, and red

fills the sky,

.

I continue sipping my coffee,

reading my book,

looking up constantly at the sky, the birds and the rainbow.

.

I go back to sleep that night,

with a huge smile, a content heart and a finished book.

Thinking of a beautiful day that unfolded itself

seeing all those that no one saw,

that no one noticed,

that beauty,

and that melancholy of the day having finished so fast

the melancholy with serenity

that no one saw

no one would ever see

the melancholy with serenity...

.

I've always been alone. Especially at nights. The loneliness strikes hard on nights I cry, screeming into my pillow. In those pitch dark nights the one gleam of light that fills my room slowly and beautifully is the moon. Irrespective of how it is, where it is, the moon comes to me. Through my window the comfort I get is the warmth of a mother and the company of a friend. On moonless nights it's as if the moon hands me over to the stars, they shine so bright and I wait for the moon to come to me. I wait for the moon to come to me.

Big Brother

It’s great to live with a sibling they say.

The fights are just a form of love they say

They said a lot of things

They said that siblings as rebels would one day turn out to be best friends

I miss that kind of a sibling.

I have a brother, not a single child.

They say a sibling tries to pull you out of shit.

He has never known I was in shit.

They say a sibling helps to stay you sober

I am just sobbing being sober

I know this poem sucks

It just that I miss having a brother

And words are not making logic.

It’s just flushing out

My dear brother,

We have had fights, and a lot of hatred. I don’t know why you hated me or why I hated you. I love you and always have, that’s why I have and will always give the world to you. I’m sorry for not calling you, not talking to you. But I miss you, I terribly do. But face it; we have just gone through shit and to deal that I have no remedy. I don’t know how to fix things, but I just want to tell you that I want a brother, the usual caring big brother. Come back to me. Take me back.

what’s in a name

You call me by my name all the time

And it used to feel great to hear it from you

I loved the sound you used make

And how you use a lot of different tones

I get your mood by the way you call,

But Daddy

It has all changed nowadays

You used to do all these things

And made me feel I was your princess

But

Then I realized that

Whenever you call brother

Its always a different tone

Infact, you never call him by his name

But rather all different adjectives

Sometimes its ‘champ’ otherwise ‘buddy’

Yet other times you call him

‘your darling son’

And the only tone that you use the days

The way you call my name

These days brings horror in me

Don’t call me by my name Daddy

Coz’ it makes me scared

That you’ll scold me again

Don’t call me by my name Daddy

Coz’ it makes my entire body shiver

Don’t call me by my name

Don’t call me by my name Daddy….

What I wouldn’t do for you

You were my kid once. You were the one I cared about the most once. You were my soul and my life. I don’t know when that changed and how it changed. I remember giving you all that was mine. Being partial towards everything you did. Knowing all your sins and still supporting you. I was your backbone and I was your system. I dint care about me, my things, or my life, for that matter. I wanted you to be in peace and have fun in life. From 15 I turned 35 for you and from 35 I turned you 15. I would have done anything for you, bring starts on earth, travel to Mars to give you a little alone time. I would have done anything you asked for, you demanded for. I dint care about how you asked. I would have and actually speaking I did.

But you started betraying me, using me, and above all took me for granted. You assumed that I was just for you and had nothing of my own. You dint even acknowledge my presence let alone my life. I would hear hours together about what you have to say, but when I open my mouth you disappear. I give you everything I have but you can’t even give me a small portion of your time. I would have given you my soul and my life, actually speaking I did.

If you had been loyal to me, I would have given you my life. I wouldn’t do any of this for you now. In fact I wouldn’t do anything for you now. And now by you I mean everybody. I wouldn’t do anything for anybody because I’m tired, sick and done doing it for you and everybody else. What I wouldn’t do for you? You ask me, well I wouldn’t do anything for you my dear, not just for you but for anybody, is all I say, to you and to everybody.

If I could...

I always wonder, if I could do a lot of things, life would have been a bit more simpler.

if I could read other people's mind it would have been simpler to avoid complications, to not hurt people. I would not have broken the trust of my beloved and regret those lies.

if I could go back in time, I would have undone a lot of things that hurt her and made her eyes go wet. I would have not fallen in love with all those wrong guys and now be in a state of hating love.

if I could get a second chance, I would apologize to all those whom I hurt.

if I could.... if I just could... I would do a hundred things that made life simpler, that made life easier.

Will used to love me when I got nothing but my aching soul.

Seeing the pain seeing the pleasure.

And I could fall or I could fly. Hanging on the words you say.

With you my dear I'm safe

Tell me why I can be there where you are

Its a paradise and it is a war zone

(Songs : "The moon song" "Pillow talk" "Show me the meaning" "Dive")

It all happens, but he doesnt know...

I see you everyday, when you come in the same train. Sit right opposite me everyday. And you dont even notice me. I work in your same building one floor down but never have you noticed me. I sip coffee everyday sitting far away noticing your charm and wondering will it ever happen. But not once have you known my existence.

I reached home late, and there you were making dinner for us. After I had freshened up we both sat down in the balcony table and had the wonderful dinner under the moon light. I was lost in your arms and spellbound by your gaze. Your one touch makes me go numb, your one kiss melted me completely.

I wake up to find out its all a dream. A dream I wait to see everynight. An universe opposite to reality I had made up.

I see you again in the train and in the coffee shop waiting to go and sleep so I can fall in your arms and feel your love in the parallel universe I have made for myself. The romance there never dilutes, never vanishes. I love you. And will always do...