Latest Posts by amandaaholic - Page 3
I got drunk and took some selfies waiting for peanutbutterlung
And on the third day I told him I like the street lamp view from the window And I could hear his smile Through a chuckle of thick bush That will never sing in my ears again
The grey indifference between dusk and dawn If I listen closely, I can still hear his swan song Lonely as the sound of lying on the ground Where possibilities pool and dreamers go to drown
Without fail you cross my mind From time to time Spitting skeletal rhymes And climbing mountains in my head Here’s my letter to the dead
Fun day with this cutie aamanda-rae
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner is for beginners. You ain't even know.
The Drinking Game
A wise friend once asked me Do you drink to remember, Or do you drink to forget? Me? I drink to sever and dismember All that fills my head with regret Those pieces in my mind that remind What I had in front of eyes so blind
I drink to forget my name It’s numbness takes away the constant pain Long enough to spark a bigger flame And watch another life blow up in smoke Right in my face And tether the tides Washed up in the storm on every side
I drink to forget it all Where I was this time last fall Where this beaten road says I’m going As long as I keep empty money flowing For all that’s about to start blowing My way in this Winter Wonderland of snow and ice Just gotta keep up with the price
I’m tripping all over my broken bottles And empty promises that started to rot On the inside, like my insides I drink to remember who I’m not
Blunts.
Blunts or joints?
My new baby. 💙
Maybe I’m insane Maybe I’m a child set in stone Maybe I’m broken deep down to my bones With shattered words left unspoken When you won’t let me speak With all this stress I turn to tweak But, really, I don’t when you last said Neither of us can geek, so I would rather be dead Than pick that up, I will when I’m dead As much as I feel that way now I can’t let any more bad news bring me down When I’m already at the verge of ending it all I just keep breathing, I just keep swimming, push through the withdraws Even if they’re not as intense There’s nothing in me anymore that can make me dance Make me sing, make me write something worth more Than this shit, but why give the condemned any remorse?
Crooked Streets
When you question everything that runs through your head When you could pull an all-nighter, or maybe go to bed Sometimes life catches you by surprise Or you won’t survive the sunrise I’m flushed. I’m pumped. About to explode. Beating and busting out of my chest My heart screams and my hands ache Deciding how much more I'm willing to take These black and white feelings bruised me I've got shaky knees and a head rush I never thought I'd miss you so much I miss the feeling of grinding teeth While I grind the gears ever-connecting in my mind Who cares if I’m biting down all the time? Still bodies harbor these racing thoughts Chasing things I ought to not Too far from home, I was born to roam I was born to spill lines out on these shattered streets Where Hell and harmony finally meet
Slipping cigarettes Slipping in and out of time With nothing but a one track mind Watching all my thoughts unwind While I fall more and more behind
Every day seems to get a little more rough A little more tough With calloused knees and broken dreams What I offer just isn’t enough
To make a break To keep from breaking my spirit Pushing past my limits Spilling lines and spitting lyrics I’ve just got to make it one more day Just think of one more way To make things right and make it far See my name in lights like a shining star
Midnight Green
Feeling loose watching you seduce Covering fifty shades of green as my eyes drift off-screen Off the air as I slip into a dream scape. Escaping from the person I once met I once knew you in a different light The moon was first shining so bright in the middle of the night Reflecting over the still lake hiding our skeletons in the deep Cause we flood empty lakes with dead bodies and tweaks And twerps that hate from the other side of the street
Our friends all sit by the handmade bonfire While you play me like static on a wire Static on the TV, watch and see Me rising up and then tumbling down Well, that’s part of the process Just don’t ask me questions I can’t possibly confess Because you know the answer so why make me the weasel Of this reality that feels so surreal, it’s too much evil You’re asking me to spill. I know you’re smarter than you appear And I’m waiting for your skeletons to tell me your biggest fear While I lie in front of many with my hand full of drink As my mind begins to stretch and shrink Telling me you know what’s for the best When you struggle on your own and I’m struggling Watch you count your stacks, start hustling Because we’re all in the same game, but on different levels Dealing with the same Hell but different devils
Friendly Fire
It’s running on three o’clock and I’m running out of gas While you finish your run getting fresh grass Let’s heat it up this time Burn that fucker while I spit this rhyme Spilling lines in my black and blue book Next to you while I watch that green cook Split it, rip it, pass it, zip it up then sell that shit There’s just one confession I must admit I’ve got a home in the dark and a boy that sparks My love like a bonfire heart Watch us tear this world apart Our generation was doomed from the start And none of that matters because the family here that can inspire A love that will spread like wildfire Weaving through the tangled trees That makes stained lungs cough and your breath heave Inhaling in the seductive air Without any worries, without a single care Because I’ve got my best man by my side With sweet, salty breeze coming from outside And I’ve got my friends that I call my family to keep me cozy inside We’ll watch the sun set and rise in the same sitting There’s no way this is the life to think about quitting In fact, to this special one, I’d rather be committing My soul to the man of my dreams Because when I look in his eyes I see the sun gleam Down on my heart while this bonfire love starts And pass that blunt you roll like it’s a fine art
Rusty Blinds
It’s understandable, you see I broke your trust in me When we first met, engaged were we But now I guess is your chance to get back at me You chose to hide, you lied The trust is dust The life I live has turned to rust
Maybe I just drove you crazy Drive myself right off the bridge Off the grid to render my sins Just do not ask the price I pay I must live with my quiet rage The silence screams of tortured tongues Careful to open with words too heavily broken I chase the wind in hopes to find The ghosts creeping all through my mind That run wild and wish me dead Will I ever get out of my head?
Night
When it's time to sleep, the midnight seekers come out to play Keep the fire, boys with tired eyes get thrown in the ashtray I've got Tina tinkering and tweaking on the couch to my right With her vacant eyes, and yet, such delight So tell me what the media says to that Or you can take a chance to see where it’s really at Airbrushed magazines at gasoline pumps romanticize And fantasize anything for a knock-out story, I know
All I’ve heard for the past seven hours Is constant conversation with sharp fixation Of useless information about certain creation Like the concept of time while I scribble this rhyme Over the doors of perception I will forever climb Because society is wrong and reality is yours for the taking And making an experience So here’s some coherence I know you’ve been so curious about
These are regular people And the least bit of evil So smart, it’s an art Craving knowledge all the way back from the start Who analyze all the fine print In still bodies with mouths that sprint
Ghosts
I’ve got to let it out I’ve got to let it out but it’s hard spitting rhymes and spilling lines Spilling lines on the table watch it dissappear Like our lives watch us fade into black and white Turning into creatures of the night It’s our time to shine while the drugs start to take flight Numbing my nose, let’s see where the night goes Cause sleep is for the weak, I say with breaking bones But homesick ghosts keep me wide awake While the monsters’ howl ring deep in my ears Filling up my soul with fear and belly with beer So let’s light another cigarette and sit by the fire Cause it’s four in the mourning and I’m still wired
Penny Love
Story of my life Black sheep in a white room And you can never assume That you know the real me Though I pour my honest thoughts out When I’m half gone In my mind and it’s nearing dawn On those late night I can’t seem to sleep And you’re the only thing on my mind I think about you all the time I’m spilling lines that only half rhyme And I don’t know how to say, or let it all out My family ain’t shit and you’re my real blood So let’s exchange stories, real feelings, loud bud My friends, you guys, you’re a part of my wolf pack You’re the ones that care about me, and that I love back I’ve lived a long life with half hidden scars to prove it And never in its entirety have I found people worth shit Until that late May day I stumbled upon that corner coffee shop ganjareaper, entrophe, beneath-a-tree, pendleton1994, buriedinleaves, the Stoop kids are on top You’re the loves of my life and I’m so glad I found you There’s a lot of shit people in the world and the exception is you few
Lately
Sometimes it's hard to tell who keeps secrets Because lately my spirit weakens While we all wait in darkening dumps Behind a facade of witty and trippy smiles But when was the last time you actually smiled? Like when we had to stop by that corner coffee shop even just long enough to say hello Back then we had each other, and what we have now I don't know The past lingers long enough to whisper sweet thoughts of Summer Come to pass with Winter's cold and heavy hand Beaches breeze and Georgia heat will come again in a year But we can never go back to the way we had. But we can never go back.
How can I write when my eyes see more than what's really there I thought I was stronger but I didn't know my heart was this bare When you can only stay up and keep nothing down Your body screams but misguided thoughts control the crown Reality is nothing but chemical levels and wavelengths To test your will and lack of strength Cheeks in blush that secretly flush out your will to stay alive Purple and blue never looked so cruel on calloused and bruised fingers Tasks that once were simple now make you tremble unless you pull the trigger Of that crystal pistol And watch days blur into one, until the final end when you look in the mirror Of a picture you haven’t seen in forever this clear Small shifts in appearance like sunken cheeks and vacant eyes Try to tell yourself it’s a better disguise
Can’t seem to sleep and too tired to weep At seven in the afternoon, half gone all along Watching with envy while I skip the rip on your bong Even if I could, my mouth can barely open With so many words that are still left unspoken
Manic Mantra
What’s that Hungry Ghost in your head saying now? To let it all out, to scream and shout In silence and on beaten paper with colours of expression And perception Of sight that’s just right outside your comfort zone You could have never known how much I’ve grown Until I look deep in the crowd with understanding shown
Running away and cheating the price to pay Was always easy when I didn’t want to stay Because I’d rather be chasing the millions of spectrums And open doors in every dimension To the venom in my crystal veins fleeting so stray From the clusterfuck of an array Of bright lights and hushed sounds To lucent colours and wavelengths that surround You and I forever bound.
Lights and Sounds
Feeling amped Let's take it back to camp I'll show you what's it's all about Hip bones jutting out Don't forget to scream and shout About it. Don't you know how I feel Because this is reality but it's not real You know I'm a big deal One day I'll go far See my name in lights like a shining star It's wearing off, I'm wearing thin Let's just hope I keep my real skin
Feels
It’s hard knowing what to feel Because nothing ever seems real But this sinking feeling Held up by a thin string That’s roped around my neck so tight When all I want is to pack up and take flight Down South for the winter This cold is too bitter
I’d rather see myself in golden California Smoking a cigarette filled with marijuana But that’s what got me in this mess So it’s time to put this to the test Just don’t ask the price I paid I must live with my quiet rage With standards so low, my day was just made Saved a bee drowning in my drink I want to fly but all I do is sink You can’t sting my flesh You’re kind of pain would leave me feeling refreshed
To think where I’d be without love Even when I always think I’m not enough Things aren’t perfect, but you’ve put me in limbo It’s better than hell, better than suicide, so Where do we go from here? I’m spilling lines that aren’t ever clear.