Today I Am Trying To Get Ahead With My Classes. My Classes Started This Past Wednesday And It Is Now

I was very sick and had to be admitted to the ER Tuesday night. I had a really high heart rate and fever so they told me to treat it as covid despite negative results. I am quarantined now and was told to take it easy and not stress out over things. I already emailed my professors that I will check in on Monday on how to better catch up and keep up. I just started making a list of all that I need to do and I'm beyond stressed out. More is going to be added to that list as this week's modules are posted. I'm also in 2 group projects. I feel pretty OK right now. It just feels like a cold. I'm just getting very stressed. I know it's just a matter of buckling down and cranking out work, but it's a daunting task. Wish me luck.

First day of me actually doing school work. I'm really excited but also really nervous for this semester! I'm taking Reading in the Content Areas, Teaching in the Online Environment (how fitting... 😓), Environmental Statistics, and Design and Analysis of Experiment. All my classes are online and 3 are asynchronous. I'm really excited for the two education classes. I'd be lying if I felt confident about the stats classes. I'm not horrible with statistics but there are some red flags about how those courses are set up and I have a really hard time following one of the professors. I know it'll work out, but I'm still worried.

Transgender Day of Visibility.

My grandma is being put into a hospice. I'm not ready to lose her 💔

Any support means a lot. She's been fighting cancer for years now and the radiation and chemo caught up with her fragile body. She originally fell and cracked her hip - first admitted to the hospital. Then she was put into a rehab where they weren't taking care of her incision or giving her the physical therapy they said they were. She developed the worst level bedsore. It went all the way to her tailbone. She was then moved to this new place. They were taking great care of her, but the bedsore never healed. They recommended hospice. She fell out of bed last night. Now she's going to a new facility and they're letting visitors in (double masks, etc). I haven't been able to touch her or see her in person since maybe Novemeber or Decemeber - everything is a blur with my grandpa passing away around then. She never got to see him because of covid restrictions. I 100% agree why they're in place - it's just so hard to watch my loved one dying through a window while assholes continue to walk around without masks on and preaching complete bullshit about the virus.

3. 29. 21 //

A word of wisdom: mind maps aren't supposed to make any sense, they're just suppoesd to get your thoughts down on paper!

Forcing your college age students to watch your own personally developed videos on group work is not effective. Plz reblog cuz I'm literally so puzzled by what she thought this was going to solve. We've already done 2 discussions on how to approach group work. We're watching videos on group roles and expectations and consequences and such. I agree it needs to be touched on, but I don't think this much is age appropriate. I'm truly irked by this blatant waste of my time. I know how to do group work. I'm going into teaching and I literally know how to facilitate group work with even the most... childish... of people.

Studying with the boys (my trees Monty and Ray and my doggo Teddy and my succulents and cacti). I'm really not in the mood to study, but it needs to happen.

Yesterday was a very tough day. I cried a bunch. My grandma gave up and they're moving her from the rehab portion of the facility to long term. My family is talking about hospice. I had to help my aunt and great aunt find a wedding certificate because they need it to help my grandma claim my grandpa's retirement benefits (he died a little over a month ago but we still cant find it). It was a very hard day. I did a window visit with her (covid) and I called her so we could talk but she dropped the phone and couldn't pick it up. She had to sign some papers for another life insurance claim and it was very hard to watch. She struggled to lift her arms and was crying the whole time but it had to be done by that day. She was so weak she couldn't turn her head to see us. It's hard watching her go because she was like a mother to me. My own mother is just unstable and horrible at parenting. Up until my grandma got cancer, she filled in the holes for my own mother's pathetic excuse for parenting. I lived at her house for a decade and lived nextdoor to her house for nearly another decade. It's hard to let go.