Latest Posts by writetastic - Page 3

Things I Learned In Research

I only finished my first research project out of many, but I already learned some game-changing things that I wish I knew earlier.

1. It’s okay to mess up. In fact, it should be encouraged (within reason). You learn so many more intimate details about your work from mistakes than from successes. PCRs fail even when you’re careful, and animal models don’t behave like they’re supposed to. Undergrad labs can make you feel stupid when your experiment doesn’t work, but in research, mistakes happen all the time. Document them and learn from them. 

2. There’s a lot of waiting around. Experiments can be slow. Progress in your project can be even slower. Manage your time between experiments so that it’s not wasted; read, write a chapter, scribble some ideas, or just close your eyes and think. All time is valuable. 

3. If you can figure out a new way to do something, do it. There might not be a formal protocol you have to follow. If you think of an efficient way to observe something, go for it. Practice thinking outside the box. 

4. There’s a lot less rules than you think there are. Of course, follow lab safety rules. But the lab is a resource- use it. You don’t have to walk on eggshells somewhere you belong. 

5. Stay true to your findings. This isn’t an undergrad laboratory course. You’re looking at novel stuff here. Don’t play up or fake your data to impress your supervisor. That helps no one- tell it like it is. Believe in your work. 

6. Your lab mates are not here to criticize you. They are your colleagues and mentors- ask them for help if you need it. Your work is important to their work too. You matter just as much as them. 

I can’t possibly list all the things I learned, because this research experience has changed how I think in such integral ways, but here are a few anyway. I’m sure this is only the beginning. 

Feel free to add anything that you learned!

Notes from my last program with a client 🤍

SOURCE

The Full Potential Challenge

Ever wonder what your life would be like if you lived up to your full potential? Would your body be healthier? Your skin clearer? Bank account bigger? I think about these things all the time, and, judging my a previous post, you guys do to. Below is a chart designed to help all of us live up to our full potential. I’ve broken it down into time frames to help keep you from getting overwhelmed. Write the chart down and hang it someplace where you can see it all the time. I will be starting this challenge tomorrow, 9/8. I’ll check in with you guys every Sunday to track my progress. I have specific goals in mind for myself, and you guys should make some too! I really want to know how you guys are doing. Tag your progress posts with #sbfpc so I can track it and take a look. Let’s get to it!

EVERY MORNING

Stretch. First thing. Really give your body enough time to wake up. Touch your toes. Roll out your shoulders. Do not hit snooze!

Do your full skincare routine. I have mine detailed here, but do whatever works for you and your complexion. Be gentle and consistent. 

Brush your teeth and floss. I used to be a big floss-skipper too, but you’d be amazed at how dig of a difference it makes. Rinse with a whitening mouthwash. I use one by Crest, and I notice a major difference in my teeth’s overall whiteness in just a few days.

Give yourself enough time to get ready. Whether you’re a wash-and-go kind of girl, or someone who spends an hour doing a full contouring routine before class (and either one is fine!), make sure you aren’t rushing. If you need to wake up a few minutes earlier than normal, so be it. Rushing sets an awful, stressed-out tone for the rest of the day. Allow yourself to be relaxed before taking on the day.

Eat something. I’m not going to say eat a big breakfast, because some people (myself included) just can’t eat in the morning. But you should eat, or at least bring a little something with you to work or school. If you can’t eat a full breakfast, grab a fruit! You won’t be as hungry come lunch time, making you less likely to gorge yourself.

Shower. You can do this at night, in the morning, whatever. Again, this is something you should allow some time for. I don’t wash my hair every day, but I do condition it every day (from the ears down). Scrub yourself with a delicious-smelling body wash. If you shave, make yourself as smooth as a dolphin, dude. If you don’t, then don’t and don’t ever ever ever let anyone make you feel bad or weird about it. When you get out of the shower, wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and totally slather your sexy self with lotion. Top to bottom. Do it as soon as you can post-shower so it can really sink in. 

Put leave-in condition throughout your damp hair and comb it through.

Put on an outfit that makes you feel good! So important!

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Take a look at your daily to-do list. Knock out the most pressing stuff first. Take pride when you cross things off your list.

Make your bed! Oh my god, make your bed. Do it. Do it. Do it. 

EVERY AFTERNOON 

Follow the “touch it once” approach. This is a truly life-changing thing. When a task is in front of you, no matter how big or small, just do it right then and there. How many times have you gotten a work email or homework assignment and thought, “Eh, I’ll do it later”? And then later never comes? Once something pops up, do it once. Squash it and be done. Cross things off your list and feel like a badass.

Try to go for a walk at lunch. Even one little lap around the block or campus will reenergize you like nobody’s business. 

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Be present. This is so hard for me too, but you have to make a major effort to be present in whatever you’re doing. Be engaged and plugged-in and just exist in the moment. Give 100 percent.

Be friendly to friends and strangers. A smile goes a long way.

Eat something. Eat what you packed for lunch (see below) and take a break from working while you do it. You need “you time”!

EVERY EVENING

Take your makeup off as soon as you’re in for the night. Wash your face with your full routine and let your skin have a break. 

Workout. You can also do this in the morning. Whatever works for you. Make a great playlist and go hard af. Get your cardio in. Get your strength training in. Earn every freaking sweat bead forming on your forehead. Earn your shower!

Knock out your homework. Life is infinitely better you don’t have anything hanging over your head. Half the time, the energy and emotion you spent dreading/putting off your work is ten times worse than the work itself.

Make a list of what needs to be done tomorrow. It’ll set you up for success the next day, and you won’t forget anything!

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This will save you SO MUCH TIME in the morning omg I can’t even tell you how important this is.

Eat something great. And once you’ve decided to be done eating for the night, be done. Brush your teeth so you can’t eat again.

After brushing, do a whitening treatment. Whether it’s classic baking soda, a Crest white strip, or a laser. Do something. And floss! Retainers in too, ladies 0:)

Relax! Take a few hours to do what YOU want to do. Scroll through Tumblr, binge on some Netflix, FaceTime gossip with your friends, anything. Do whatever makes you happiest. 

Shut the electronics off an hour before you want to go to bed. Put your phone on sleep mode. If you stare at the screen, it will keep you awake and alert and you won’t be able to fall asleep. A good night’s sleep is crucial for weightless and general happiness lol

Do a quick sweep of your room and see if there’s anything you can put away real quick. A clean space is a happy space.

Crawl into your bed (aren’t you happy you took the time to make it?!) and read a book by lamplight for a while. When you start to feel sleepy, go to sleep. Don’t push it. You kicked ass today and you deserve rest. 

EVERY WEEKEND

Do something with your friends. It just has to be one thing. Even if you’re just hanging out at the coffee shop, spending time with your squad will make you a better, happier person.

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Do something just for you. Set your laptop up in the bathroom and watch a Netflix marathon while you take a bubble bath. Buy an old school bottle of Mr. Bubbles ($3 at Target!) and really just soak. Relax. Light a candle.

Do something creative. You can read a book, write, blog, draw, code, anything. It just has to be something that speaks to your passion.

Track your progress. Just do this once a week so it doesn’t become all-consuming. And remember that non-scale victories are just as important as shedding pounds.

Take the time to be grateful. Tell your friend how much you admire her taste in music. Mention to your mom how much you love her cooking and how happy you are that she takes care of you. Thank your teaching after an especially interesting lecture. When you do something awesome, take a moment to admire yourself. Be grateful for even the little things.

Anything I missed? Reblog + add yours! Don’t forget to tag your progress!

CHEAT SHEETS FOR EVERYTHING

adult cheat sheet

reference cheat sheet 

reference cheat sheet 2

reference cheat sheet 3

reference cheat sheet 4

self care cheat sheet

boredom cheat sheet

getting a job cheat sheet

school cheat sheet

school cheat sheet 2

Do you have tips to becoming more lady like/classy ?

(Keep in mind that this is simply from my own perspective and everyone’s definition of what is considered “classy” and “ladylike” varies.)

1. No drama! Classy women do not participate in drama or messy behavior of any kind. Of course, this doesn’t apply to serious matters like being threatened or assaulted or any kind of situation where your safety is at risk. Pick your battles wisely. Sometimes it is more than okay to say “You know what? I’m too grown for this.” Or “I’m too classy for this.” The last thing you want is your name attached to some mess that you could’ve simply chosen to ignore and not participate in. This goes for gossip as well. There are some celebrities who never have anything to say about anyone. Even when they’re asked outright, they’re smart about avoiding the question. What’s the point?

2. Discretion, discretion, discretion. When I think of women in the media who I consider to be classy and ladylike, they have several things in common, but the main one is that they’re discreet. They’re very careful about what they say, how they say it, and how they move in the public eye. Yes, I might consider them to be very ladylike individuals, but in truth, I really know nothing about them. The generic information like education and background and such might be out there for me to see, but when it comes to their personal life and ideals and opinions, I know next to nothing. And that’s how it should be! The whole world does not need to know your business or what you think of every insignificant thing that’s popular at the moment.

3. Time and place! Some people will tell you that classy women don’t listen to rap or rock or whatever other music they’ve deemed off limits to ladylike individuals, but I disagree. I think the true definition of class is knowing there is a time and place for everything. This goes for any kind of media you consume or any kind of way you choose to enjoy yourself. There’s no law on class that says you shouldn’t let loose and have fun, because you certainly can! As long as it’s understood that certain behaviors are not for certain spaces.

4. Manners! I cannot stress this enough, but manners will take you far. Make “please” and “thank you” a regular part of your vocabulary. Offer condolences to people you know who need it. Send thank you cards to people who have been a great help to you. Check on those close to you here and there. Be polite and show that you are a thankful individual.

5. This is sort of an extension of part 4, but be mindful of the things you say. Do not be the kind of person who only says things out of anger that you know you will regret hours later. Be respectful to those you love even if you’re mad at them (obviously this doesn’t apply to truly toxic and abusive situations but more so petty arguments that, in the grand scheme of things, really do not matter all that much). Even in more tame discussions, you don’t always have to say what’s on your mind. If it isn’t going to help someone, then ask yourself why you feel the need to say it? Furthermore, if there is something you feel needs to be said, there’s a way to be honest without being rude. Now yes, in some situations, you can’t spare someone else’s feelings. This is the truth, but there’s a way to stand your ground and get your point across without being malicious and ugly about it.

6. Carry yourself well. You’re poised and always put together and you’re articulate in how you express your thoughts. Please keep in mind that I do not mean you speak perfect and fluent English or anything like that. In my eyes, someone with broken English who knows more than one language will always be above a native English speaker who only knows English (sorry not sorry). You take the time to think about what you’re going to say before you say it so that you are heard and understood. You walk with confidence and hold your head high. You have wonderful etiquette.

7. Cut back on vulgarity. It’s going to ruffle some feathers, but I don’t consider constant swearing to be ladylike. I myself have stopped swearing as much as I used to. I really only swear in the privacy of my own home and it’s here and there (usually when I mess something up or hurt myself 😭). Let my coworkers tell it, I never swear, and the thought of me cursing doesn’t even sound right to them. Out in public, there’s also a way to say certain things. If I’m at a company dinner or something, I’m not going to tell everyone I need to go pee or do number 2 🤢 I’m going to politely say I need to excuse myself or as my aunt likes to say “I need to use the ladies room”. In addition, if you can’t get your point across without yelling, then you need to re-evaluate that. Again, this does not apply to truly toxic and abusive situations, but simple discussions and disagreements. You should be able to convey what you’re trying to say in a calm and respectful manner.

8. You mind your business! I do not mean in the selfish way of being unconcerned with the hardships your loved ones are facing, but I mean out and about. You’re not judging some random woman on what she’s wearing or some man on how he’s eating. You’re focused on yourself. If you’ve ever seen Gilmore Girls, there’s an episode in the first season when Dean first approaches Rory, and he tells her that he absolutely had to get to know her because he saw her reading a book one day, and all the while, there was a commotion with a fight and an ambulance and this whole big thing that captured everyone’s attention, but the entire time, she did not look up from that book even once. Now I’m not saying you have to be that extreme, because if there’s a fire or something serious, you need to know so you can skedaddle. But don’t always concern yourself with what everyone else is doing or how they’re behaving. Focus on your food, focus on your book, focus on your podcast. Just focus on you!

Advice your mother should’ve given you.

Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Don’t allow people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Don’t be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you don’t, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it. Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Don’t disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code. 

Hey babe what are some things that you think would be a good investment when improving your lifestyle?

- Healthy foods and kitchen essentials: I bought a huge NutriBullet kit on sale the other day for $99 and it was one of the best investments I’ve made. It incentivises me to make green smoothies in the morning with ingredients that make my skin clearer, energy better, etc. I recommend investing in obviously fruits and vegetables on the regular, but also things like vitamins, super greens powder, protein powder, white tea and green tea, a portable thermos to drink tea anywhere at any time (I have a cute one from Lululemon), rolled oats, bamboo straws, maca powder, raw cocoa, and then of course nutritious groceries. I like buying sourdough bread, avocado, lemon, feta cheese, eggs, chicken, jasmine rice and fruit regularly.

- invest in your HAIR. It’s worth spending several hundred dollars a year on an excellent cut and colour. If you can afford it, get regular blow dries, but I choose not to (I definitely will when budget allows for it comfortably). Please don’t dye your hair at home lol. Getting your hair done at a good salon makes it look expensive. Get a treatment too if you need one. Ultimately, the right investments in your hair should make it look more expensive, and make it more LOW maintenance on a daily basis. It’s also worth investing in an excellent hairbrush (I use the Aveda wooden paddle brush which was around $60 or so), and hair oil (Moroccanoil argan oil is the best I’ve found and used, it’s about $70-80 if I remember correctly, def worth it). These two products make your daily routine more seamless and effective and give you long term healthier, shinier hair.

- Gym or fitness membership: I pay $25 for a membership at a studio in the city which includes unlimited Pilates, barre, yoga and HIIT classes. I don’t enjoy traditional gym anymore so I found something that works for me, and is only 10 mins from my house. This is seriously a non negotiable, even if you have no fitness goals or aesthetic goals for your body, having a fitness routine adds an element of structure and wellbeing to your daily life. It enriches it with community, and improved health benefits. If you’re trying to lose weight or tone up, definitely a must. Keep searching until you find the perfect place, and secure that membership.

- An everyday tote bag: personally I don’t carry a handbag in my day to day life generally. An ordinary day in my life would include a balance of work, gym and university, so I need a lot of space in my bag for a change of clothes, makeup bag, books, laptop, hairbrush, food, water bottle, wallet etc. I carry the ‘Deluxe Gum Bag’ from Lorna Jane which is THE MOST AMAZING bag ever. It’s insanely sturdy and carries SO MUCH. It’s also super chic and stylish. This bag is literally my life lol, it’s been with me through thick and thin 😂 if I’m only going to work or uni or running errands, I’ll just carry a canvas tote bag, like my New Yorker tote. Something lightweight and chic. So, investing in the right everyday bag(s) is life changing.

- Makeup: I use the same 5 makeup products everyday. All high end and all very reliable/high quality. They’ve lasted me ages and definitely given me a bang for their buck. I recommend investing in a good tinted moisturiser (don’t recommend foundation), bronzer, powder, eyeliner, mascara, lipliner, eyeshadow palette and eyebrow pencil. My approach to makeup has been more ‘quality over quantity’. I probably buy a new piece of makeup once a year. When you buy high end products, you don’t need to replace them so frequently. I recently purged my collection and now only have a moderate amount of high end products I would realistically use. The brands I recommend are NARS, Laura Mercier, MAC, Charlotte Tilbury, Benefit, Too Faced, Chanel, Hourglass, Tarte, Dior and It Cosmetics.

- High quality bedding: when I moved into my new place I spent $600 on top notch bedding with zero qualms. Do NOT underestimate the importance of quality, linen or cotton bedding. I went to the Sheridan outlet and bought cotton quilt, bedsheets, towels, mattress protector, pillows and pillowcases, and quilt cover. Cotton bedding is breathable and soft on your skin, prevents nasty bedbugs and illnesses they transmit, and drastically improves your quality of sleep and life overall. Polyester cheap bedding will over time destroy your skin and leave you prone to bedbugs and difficult sleep! It was SUCH a good investment and now I sleep like a baby every night.

- Silk pillowcase: I purchased the Slip silk pillowcase and ever since I’ve seen improvements in my hair and skin. Both are smoother and softer. Other pillowcases can truly wreak havoc on your hair and cause wrinkles over time. Plus it feels so luxurious and incredible to wake up on silk every morning!

- Educational subscriptions: I’m subscribed to the New York Times, the New Yorker, and Medium. These add immense value to my daily life. On the bus or train I can open the app and educate myself endlessly on a huge variety of topics and disciplines. Buying the right subscriptions enriches your life with cultural and social awareness, a better vocabulary, a stronger ability to communicate with all types of people on a variety of topics, and exposure to eloquent, articulate verbal communication.

- Quality tech to enhance your learning: for me, this meant investing in AirPods to listen to podcasts all day long, anywhere I am. My Apple Watch also helps me keep track of my physical activity and amplify/monitor it on a daily basis. The right tech accessories can seriously level up your daily life and learning. I recommend investing in a Kindle, good headphones/AirPods, MacBook, Fitbit etc. having one or more of these staples helps make your learning more seamless, motivating and convenient.

Hope this list helps! There a probably a lot more (like quality shoes, books, hair extensions etc) but these are the essentials I think are worth the investment for maximised daily usefulness and value to my routine.

“A healthy relationship is where two independent people just make a deal that they will help the other person be the best version of themselves.”

— Unknown

“Will it be easy? Nope. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.”

— Unknown

Fernando Pessoa, A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems

How to activate your "happiness chemicals"...

DOPAMINE ~ the reward chemical

Complete a task

Doing self care acitivites

Eating some food

Celebrating your little wins.

OXYTOCIN ~ the love hormones

Playing with a dog

Playing with a baby

Holding hands

Hugging someone

Giving someone else a compliment

SEROTONIN ~ the mood stabiliser

Meditating

Running

Be in the sun

Walk in nature

Swimming

ENDORPHIN ~ the pain relief

Laughing exercises

Essential oils

Eating dark chocolate

Running

Queen of Studies 📚

A small guide to adopt that study queen mindset

Ditch all social media you can. No Instagram account to scroll up endlessly, not checking the Facebook feed, no mindless scrolling, etc. If you use a social media, curate what you read. Declutter the time wasters. Only keep the accounts that genuinely bring you good. Uninstall games and useless apps. You'll use them when you're on vacation. Now it's study time, from the beginning of the semester TO THE END. "But I use them to uncompress!!" Bullshit you can do something more productive like workouts or cleaning your room. It's not an essential need.

For food, focus on meal prep, get 4 Tupperware (or mason pots if you have) and prepare 4-6 meals (2-3 dinners, 2-3 suppers) that contain veggies, proteins, carbs, good stuff that feeds your body and brain. The breakfast is optional, I use my breakfast prepping routine to relax and ground myself before attacking my day. Doing 4 meals at a time is easy and not quite as daunting compared to the traditional 1-week meal prep, and it will stay fresh. You have more time to focus on what matters, you don't waste decision energy on meals and you're less likely to eat junk food.

Impose yourself a "no junkfood" rule in your room or house. You're less likely to spill and eat brain rotting stuff. If you receive sweets as a gift, stick them at the back of the freezer, and only take out ONE at a time. Drink plenty of water. More than you think you need. The body will declutter the excess for you. But never too little water. Prepare some precut veggies and have a stock of your favourite fruit on hand.

Get your sleep together. It helps with memorization and with sufficient sleep, nutrition and water, your brain can heal up and start memorizing efficiently the information you learn. Never neglect sleep. Never do late study sessions, instead planify better your study times.

Cut off people that bring you down. People that always bring you to parties and guilt trip if you don't wanna. They don't care that much about you. Cut off those that aren't serious in their studies, they don't realize the importance of studies and it's lifetime impact. If you can't cut them dry (block and move on), ghost them, don't reply their questions with a question back, be bland to them. A Queen only wants the best around her, and is ruthless in her judgement.

Once you start the semester, study every day, even if you have nothing to do that day (especially at the beginning of the semester). You can even get ahead in your studies and use the class as a refresher for what you did study. You'll feel more comfortable and have some questions prepared too! Figuring things out while it is being taught can be quite stressful. For laboratories, do several weekly hours of self-study, repeating the methods you learned. Use your teachers free hours anytime you have additional questions or need additional explanations, not only right before an exam. Take your time and speed up once you're comfortable. Learn to fail when it doesn't matters so you won't fail when it will matter.

Re-read your notes twice or thrice or four times, annotate them, summarize every paragraph. Write a "fake cheatsheet" that summarizes every step of the semester. Draw some conceptual schemes, make links between concepts. Do all the excercises, and redo the hardest ones before the exam. Do the pratice exams, check the past years exams if they're available. They'll give you an idea of your teacher's exam style.

Studying bit by bit instead of a big rush at the end will help you immensely assimilate correctly the information (less stress = better memorization, and repeated study = the memory is more precise and you have less memory losses).

Doing a cardio workout everyday increases your brain power. It can be a 30 min energetic walk outside, it can be a intensive cardio workout, it can be a 1 hour yoga session. Pair that with a good stretch routine (that back needs stretches sfter that long study session!) and a muscle workout too to tone up your muscles and keep you looking sharp. Excercise helps you relieve your stress, and feel more grounded, and feel more confident. More confidence also means there's less stress, better focus, and better social interactions. Make it a fundamental tool in your study artillery.

Combine several activities at the same time, you can watch movies while you workout instead of sleeping too late. You can study your biology while doing your cardio workout. Listen to audiobooks relevant to your domain while walking outside. Do your mask while you're doing your yoga routine. No wasted time, and no excuses.

You are the top tier.

You study consistently, every day, bit by bit. You get As. You have this thirst of knowledge and you quench it. Doors break open for you. You feel comfortable in your knowledge. There's no hesitation, and if you don't know, you know how to seek new answers, and if there's no answers, you know you don't bullshit others and you say humbly that you don't know the answer.

You're prepared facing obstacles, you see much farther than others, you prepare yourself ahead. You know how to navigate bumps smoothly because youre looking much farther than anybody else. You save much more than others, you don't go broke. You prepare more than necessary, you can help others.

You set aside money every time you receive your salary, you don't blow up every dollar on useless crap. You build up wealth, you invest in well researched investments, and money returns stronger than ever. You become comfortable, there's absolutely no worries of bad days.

You meticulously work hard, nobody can say anything wrong about you. You're extremely professional, and you give your absolute best. No weak answers. No obstacles, consistency wins over always. Your take no bullshit and give no bullshit. Always going up and up and up.

You captivate others by your exceptional listening skills. They feel fundamentally understood by you, there's genuine connections. All your friends are as high value as you, and conversations are always interesting. Children look up to you, they say "I want to be her".

You are the top tier.

FUTURE HOME CHECKLIST

Just me listing off my criterias for house shopping 🏠 can be either as is, or to renovate into my criterias. This post has been clipped since it is pretty long 💎

Kitchen

Enough space for table for six

Always gonna have a flower bouquet at all times

Plenty of cupboards/integrated storage space, must be flat and shiny. No rustic stuff.

White porcelain double sink

French door or vintage style fridge

Either: sleek porcelain or hardwood floor

Skylight

Must be easy to clean, no weird corners, everything is neat and simplified.

Bathrooms

BATH is a MUST. No plastic showers in never ever.

Rain shower

Big windows, to hook up plants, creating a somewhat tropical ambience.

Chandelier

Plenty of storage. Never want to see ugly clutter

Natural: wood, stone, creamy and woody colors, maybe a bit of color but nothing I can't remove easily.

Romantic ambience, but nothing gaudy. Something that's eternally good taste.

Bedroom

Interesting architectural elements

Organized according to Feng Shui, not too big (I prefer smaller bedrooms) nor cramped. Something cozy, harmonious, just right.

Natural textures, linen curtains herringbone wood HEATED floor, balcony or private patio, and so on.

Connected to a bath near the bed. A MUST. Imagine dipping in warm water right before bed 💕

Multiple mirrors. Just because.

Hot water tap in the joined bathroom. I know it's weird as hell, bit imagine brewing a nighttime tea before bed you know

Might go super romantic, or super dramatic. Don't know yet on that one but changes are cheap.

Living room

I know this is going to be weird... But I want zero projector nor TV in my house whatsoever. I don't need flimed media to be satisfied. Instead, give me books and crafts and I'll be happy 💕 so a living room centered around interacting, reading and other non-screen pastimes seems so nice.

Yet again, wood will have some presence for sure. Floor, details, etc. Moldings are a must.

At least two COZY seatings centered around a fireplace, with a interesting coffee table filled with strange books.

Plenty of blankets and cushions. No discussion.

Big windows giving to nature. The outdoor gardening will be nonexistent as forest will be my garden... Maybe a few blooming bushes there and there but everything stays very natural.

Five general productivity tips

1. DO NOT DIVIDE YOUR ATTENTION:

Keep things straightforward. No multitasking. Don't lie to yourself that you can study English and do perfectly your job at the same time. Focus on each thing 100% then once it's done, move over to the next thing. Full, undistracted, fully devoted focus is going to give you so much more bang than divining your attention over 5 different things.

2. LESS IS MORE, AND DO NOT CHANGE WHAT WORKS.

You don't need 1747 apps for productivity. If your Google Calendar works for organization, no need to get two schedulebooks for your organization. You're bringing in clutter and chaos and distraction in something that needs to be kept SIMPLE. Do not try new productivity stuff when you're in a rush, about to finish for a deadline. Try new stuff when you're fully relaxed.

3. SCHEDULE TIME OFF AND ACTUAL WORK TIME.

Schedule your movie night, schedule your work shifts in your (online/paper) schedulebook. Planify your plan ahead and commit to yourself you're going through with it. Time off, sleep and down time are essential to be more productive, but at the same time, you HAVE to be productive to give meaning to your time off. Else it just becomes wasted idle time.

4. GIVE YOURSELF A DAILY GOAL.

Something attainable, absolutely DOABLE and a ACTION PLAN. It can be "I have the goal of reading 30 pages of this book, and I'll read this after my breakfast, then before bed." Accomplishing something easily doable daily gives you a boost of good mood and happiness which makes you more likely to desire accomplishing another goal, and another goal, and another goal and so on.

5. STOP READING ABOUT PRODUCTIVITY STUFF AND GO DO SOME STUFF.

That includes this very same post. You're probably reading this in need of direction, of "knowledge". But turns out you probably have some stuff and are procrastinating by reading productivity tips. Do yourself a favor, stop reading and go do some stuff for ONCE. 💎

Can you list some harsh truths that the general population (especially women) need to hear in order to improve? I feel like society likes to sugarcoat everything.

Family is a privilege, not a right. Men being allowed to cum inside is a priviledge and not a right.

Men can never DEMAND to women, they can only ask. If they demand, it's divorce time.

It is okay to marry richer/higher status. Marrying lower is just not a good idea for women. You need to always be upgrading and upgrading. Never settle.

Also, at the same time, be reasonable in your standards. The higher your standards are, the smaller your pool will be and the higher caliber you have to be to distinguish yourself.

For dating hypergamously, practice is KEY. Date date date date date date and GET OUT THERE. Mr Perfect won't be impressed by your low-experience awkard nerd ass.

By gaining dating experience you also learn to recognize yourself the red flags.

The higher the salary the more likelier he's a psychopath. Read up on psychopathy and other Dark Triad traits so you're prepared to counteract. If you're not sure about some man, next. Better be safe and save your skin than be a victim.

Your boyfriend working at MacDonalds or smoking pot is not him being "cool" he's being lame. He drives a rusty noisy corolla? Nah. This ain't cute. Get it together.

If you feel you don't deserve dating high value men, get the fuck off the dating pool, recenter it all on you, take a 1yr break and work on your glowup. Read about buliding self confidence AND WORK IT.

Never have children before marriage. Marriage is the legal protection of women. In case you separate outside of marriage he may be never required to help out financially with alimony. Marriage is protection for women.

Fuck the baby mama culture. See previous point. It just isn't cool, it's lame.

It is okay to prioritize career over men, and career first before founding a family. You MUST be seeking out for yourself FIRST before endangering yourself and putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

If you need to have a baby in order to keep a man, let him go. Bye.

The current dating market is heavily unfavorable towards women, as most men just don't know how to behave nicely. And this ain't our problem to solve in any way. Do not hesitate to be cutthroat. Red flag? Block, delete, forget and NEXT.

Fuck protecting men's feelings. Breakup when you don't wanna be anymore with him, say things honestly. They're already brutally honestamongst themselves, they can handle you being honest and asserting yourself.

Mantrums shouldn't make you comply, in ANY way. You need X, he doesn't wants, don't care, you need X or you gtfo.

You have to take accountability for your own actions on yourself and others, but do not blame yourself for EVERYTHING everyone does. That's what a PickMe does. If you got unhealthy body, this is not the fault of your mama if you're above 20. If you went broke, this is not the fault of everyone else if you went shopping excessively with that nice brand new CC card.

Being fat is not cute. Being skeleton thin is not cute. Get it together and strive towards actual wellbeing. Stop smoking cigarettes nobody might tell you but it makes you stink and gives off a bad impression. Same with excessive alcohol consumption.

Like said in the Teenager post, therapist stuff should stay at the therapist's office or your journal.

Live the lifestyle your salary allows you to live. You shouldn't be buying Prada shit on MacDonald's salary. If you want better stuff, strive to improve your salary. Going broke is just awful and not a nice personality trait.

Refuse to work too much you have zero life outside of work. That's exploitation and not being "hardworking". If you feel you can't ask that, read up about "boundaries". Currently, the market favors heavily employees so you have leverage for better. .

You should strive to be autonomous, you can't expect Mama or Friend to help you out everytime you're stuck. Prepare ahead, think of all possibilities ahead of time and ask for help when you're actually stuck. People get helping fatigue.

Do not just read about dating strategies or beauty stuff. Read up about news, science, culture and so on. Listen to podcasts, videos, read reference books, etc. There's a topic you wanna learn more about? Head to the librairy to get a good foundation.

To become a queen requires work, time involvement, energy, focus. You can't hope to become a queen just by scrolling on Tumblr and doing nothing else. Go workout, read, go out, etc. Have a life.

FIRST DAY AT WORK TIPS

A few tips Ive gathered over the years starting many new jobs, and being a manager. Works for either career jobs or beginner jobs.

1- You're barely starting, they don't have much expectations already. Be polite, be graceful, do everything your best possible. Stuff can go wrong obvs, but try to extract the lessons from the problems and move ON.

2- The beginning is the BEST time to ask questions. A good manager would be actually happy you're asking questions, because it demonstrates you want to do well. Ask ask ask ask questions. Don't be shy. Bring a small notebook + pencil to note down important information, this small detail BOOSTS your image. Arrive PREPARED, as much as you possibly can be. To not appear like you haven't listened, repeat a crucial related information, then ask the question. "I know that we have to insert the customer name there, and never forget to add the code, what if [special case] happens, what should I do?" It makes you look like you're very intentional and seeking to be your best ever. .

3- If they hired you, it means they know you can make it. You have the basics to be able to do the job. Otherwise it would've been a waste of energy and time for everyone, no? Trust that they selected the best candidate for the work (aka you).

4- The first few months are the most tiring and rough. So many new faces, new things to learn, new routines, etc. Try to ride it out, try to establish a nice healthy routine at work and around work, and obvs don't neglect your self-care that will make you spin down from the accumulated stress. Do not neglect your health & wellbeing routine.

5- If the job fails, no worry, brush up your CV and start sending more and more of those CVs to jobs. Make it a daily habit until you're fully HIRED. Do not fret over being fired or having to quit (because shitty jobs do exist), move on, move on, move on!!

Vet jobs as you would with potential husbands. Pays well, treats well, is mindful of your time and limitations, etc.

Thesis 101: Condensed version

In my experience, there is always someone somewhere starting their thesis, or struggling to the thesis finish line, or stuck in that middle part where it’s hard work without the reward. If you are just getting started on your thesis (or another big project) and you feel a bit lost and overwhelmed: fear not, I have your back. I created a list of tips that I found useful while writing my MSc thesis (psychology).

Let me know if this was helpful and if you want more. I originally wanted to post a whole series of tips on different stages of the thesis process, so consider this the drastically condensed version of that.

Getting started

Find a lab that works on a topic that interests you and with a team that you feel comfortable with.

Make sure you know where to go with questions and get to know the structure.

Set up your goals from the beginning and make a planning.

The best thing you can do at the beginning of your thesis is figure out what you want, what your university requires, and how the project works.

Planning

Create a list of all the steps you need to take to finish your thesis and divide them over the time (months, weeks?) that you have until the deadline.

At the very beginning, discuss this schedule with your supervisor.

Create in-between deadlines, with your supervisor and also with yourself.

At the beginning of each month, write down what you should do each week.

At the beginning of each week, write down what you should do each day.

Make a list of things you need to do each day, preferably the night before, so you can start right when you sit down.

You could even calendar block if that’s your cup of tea.

Steps

Here’s an example from a psychology graduate (me):

Literature search/brain storm

Research question, hypotheses

Summarizing results into proposal

Make a plan

Learn how to analyze data

Execute plan (e.g., data collection)

Analyse data

Write down results

Draw conclusion

Revision, feedback, revision, feedback, revision!

 Reflection

Every week (or at whatever interval you prefer), sit down for 20 minutes and reflect on your progress. Ask yourself:

What did I do this week?

What went well?

What did not go as planned?

What can I do to improve next week?

What is on my to do list for the next week? What’s my focus? Are there things on the long run that I need to start working on?

Reflection keeps you on track but also allows you to think about what you learned in the process.

Life tips?

I’ll answer this question by echoing notes I’ve left for myself in my journal:

Eyes on the prize while you stop to smell the roses

You are loved, even when you don’t feel like it and even when those that love you don’t do it in the most efficient ways

Try not to take shit personally, everyone is just projecting

The success you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding

If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you

Outgrow feeling like you have to play small to protect peoples feelings

The pain of self-discipline is better than the pain of regret

If you allow a man to feed you he has the power to starve you—be independent and have your own income and assets

If God puts rice in your basket, there is no point in wishing for soup—instead of wallowing in self-pity, make the most of your situation and excel

Fashion is for your everyday life, not just for big occasions

Your brain changes more in your twenties than at any other time in your adult life—whatever it is that you want to change about yourself, now is the time to do it by building good habits

Speed is relatively unimportant, forward is forward

Low self-esteem often leads to adverse self-fulfilling prophecies; break the cycle and build a strong sense of self-worth

The people who reach the greatest heights are not always the strongest, nor the most intelligent; they are the most responsive to change

Some of these are truisms I’ve found on Tumblr, some are quotes from books I’ve read, some are wisdom I’ve received from the people in my life, and others are things I’ve realized from self-reflection. This probably wasn’t the most organized but I hope it was still helpful! ❣️

If you can't even spend 5 minutes with God now on earth how are you going to last eternity with Him?

quotes that help me survive:

“You are not lost. You are here. Stop abandoning yourself. Stop repeating this myth about love and success that will land in your lap or evade you forever. Build a humble, flawed life from the rubble, and cherish that. There is nothing more glorious on the face of the earth than someone who refuses to give up, who refuses to give in to their most self-hating, discouraged, disillusioned self, and instead learns, slowly and painfully, how to relish the feeling of building a hut in middle of the suffocating dust.” — Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly

this tumblr text post:

“To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.” — Mary Oliver

From an interview with Kazu Makino:

Instructions On Not Giving Up, Ada Limon:

And this poster by Yumi Sakugawa

“You have to believe, in your heart, that even if you don’t work hard and exercise and think positive thoughts and make new friends and march triumphantly into the future, you are still enough. You will always have bad days. Being broken doesn’t make you a loser. You can crumble, and you will still be enough. Make that your religion moving forward. You are here to feel this moment. You are not here to become someone better. You are not here to impress or compete. You are not here to prove yourself. You are here to savor this life. Let down your guard. You are already enough. Believe it.” — Heather Havrilesky

“The first feminist gesture is to say: “Ok. They’re looking at me. But I’m looking at them.” The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but by how I see them.” -Agnès Varda

lyrics from the song Grow by The Oh Hellos:

“The world’s otherness is antidote to confusion, that standing within this otherness—the beauty and the mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books—can re-dignify the worst-stung heart.” — Mary Oliver

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you,and that you will work with these stories from your life--not someone else's life--water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Mindset

You can have anything you want if you’re willing to give up everything for it. If you honestly want to live lavish, be drenched in designer couture, go on exotic vacations, you can. If you want something badly enough, you can find a way to get it. It might be harder for you. You may have to get it a different way than other people, but you will to find a way to achieve what you want. You live the life you chose, even if it’s not the life you say you want. I apologize for being harsh but victimhood, making excuses, and pitying yourself will get you nowhere. I gave up my entire life to be able to live how I do now. My family doesn’t speak to me because of my choice to do better. Most of my friends, the same. I don’t care. I value money, material things, opulent experiences, and financial freedom higher than I value people who don’t care to see me happy or fulfilled. I have made sacrifices. I have given up once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. What haven’t made, is excuses. I don’t feel bad for myself. I don’t play the victim because quite frankly, no matter how you frame it, I’m not. On that note, you’re probably not either. I’m not discounting anyone’s trauma, but it’s not an excuse to let yourself fail and in return hate others who forced themselves to succeed. If you want to do something, go make it happen. Stop making excuses. Stop blaming your trauma. Stop blaming the situation you were born into. Stop saying you can’t, or it doesn’t work like that for you, or you’ll never be able to do that because it’s just not true. There are things in this world that you cannot control. But you do have complete control over the way in which you chose to live your life. Manifest it. Align yourself accordingly. And start doing the things you want to do. Start being the person you say you want to be. 

Develop your business first before building your house.

Proverbs 24

“Let today be the day you love yourself enough to no longer just dream of a better life; let it be the day you act upon it.”

— Steve Maraboli

If you’re constantly doubting who God is, it’s because you’re allowing life to speak louder than truth.

“The only thing we can bring with us to heaven, is other people.”

— something I heard at church today that hit my heart right where it needed to (via @lovechangeseverythang)

A Relationship Is Not a Wishlist.

Look, a romantic wishlist is a nice thought, but it’s also creepy and unfair. It’s setting up an impossible monstrosity of expectations and you’ll be disappointed for no other reason than you played yourself.

I don’t mean lowering your standards. I mean setting real ones, for actual people who exist. For people who are just people and not a customized Frankenstein creature.

The person you’ll end up with is going to be their own person with their own hopes, dreams, goals, anxieties, and weird little habits. They’re not a checklist trophy that will meet your every size or quota.

They’re going to be way different and in fact way more interesting than the stitched up hologram made from half-baked movie cliches and choir-preaching memes.

Relationships are about compromise. Not compromising yourself, no. But about two weird people making it work. It’s a wild mix of chemistry, compatibility, non-negotiables, history and trauma, highs and lows, disagreements and pushback and feedback, augmenting goals, and lifelong change.

“Get you a guy/girl who” only works if you see yourself as a main character-savior-hero and you see others as a secondary prop to fulfill your romantic comedy narrative. In that case, you have other issues and you can wait.

And waiting in the meantime is a really good time for growth, for self-discovery, and for becoming the kind of person you never knew you were looking for. Singleness, really, isn’t waiting. It’s being.

— J.S.

They’ll probably mispronounce my name at my funeral