Latest Posts by paradoxf0x - Page 2

My dad, a bodybuilder desperately begging: please stop skipping leg day

Me, a trans guy with beefy thicc goth mommy legs: no

My brain, having a meltdown like a toddler: everything is bad and awful and I absolutely refuse to function in these working conditions *dumps a shitload of adrenaline into the nervous system*

Me, sighing heavily and holding up lorazepam: would ya do it for a Scooby snack?

Straight men hate the idea of gay men hitting on them because they’re afraid of being treated the same way they treat women

I finally found it! The best explanation of my sexuality (demisexual):

Mentally: a romantic

Physically: an asexual

Spiritually: a fucking slut

demon: youre a bitch

me: *starts closing the summoning circle*

demon: wait i gotta tell you some important ancient knowledge

me: *keeps it open*

demon: bitch

i need to stop picking at my face but the problem is theres Textures On There and i would prefer if there Werent

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN HOW IS ANYONE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL DRAGON BABY?!??!?

Pokémon Go!

I love jaywalking with strangers. They can’t kill all of us!!!

a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost

Are… are these trees on fire or do I need to see someone about my pyromania?

This

nothing brings me more joy than repeatedly doing a bit that my mother dislikes

The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire skeleton

I didn’t ask “what?” because I didn’t hear you, my brain still runs on internet explorer and the information hasn’t loaded yet

You’ve heard of Manic Pixie Dream Girl, now introducing:

Non-binary Neurodivergent Nightmare 

School really had me thinking my biggest problem was gonna be quicksand

How come your kid can be whoever they want when they grow up, but when I try it it’s “identity theft” and “illegal”

A well playing job, countless new friends, *and* I can legally threaten bitchy customers with an iron rod? Where do I sign?

I’ll keep them graves so spotless you’ll be able to see the reflection of your dead loved ones standing hauntingly behind you.

SO THATS WHY SHE COULDNT HEAR THE PRINCE CALLING AFTER HER

someone pointed out that disney’s cinderella has no ears and I can’t stop thinking about it

“The trees cry out as they die, but you cannot hear them. I lie here. I listen to the pain of the forest and feel the ache of the bullet in my chest and dream of the day when I will finally crunch that gun woman’s head in my jaws… She is my daughter. One of the wolf tribe. When the forest dies, so does she. I caught her human parents defiling my forest. They threw their baby at my feet as they ran away. Instead of eating her, I raised her as my own. Now my poor, ugly, beautiful daughter is neither human nor wolf.“

PRINCESS MONONOKE (1997)

I think I just gained a new personal hero

#Catch me at the stegosaurus concert

love to purchase items but at what cost

gay ppl be like yea these are my comfort characters *literal ray of sunshine*, *murderer*, *war criminal*, *six feet under*

Unrealistic scenario: “these ancient runes roughly translate to: abandon hope all ye who enter”   “huh I wonder what that could mean”

Better scenario: “the runes basically say ‘you enter you die’”  “well now we HAVE to go in”